Chapter fourteen

Jules kept shaking in my arms and it took her a little while to calm down but after she did calm down somewhat , she looked up at me and simply asked, "Why?"

Even though she only said one word, her question was actually more complicated than it seemed; why did you let that happen? Why did you make me watch? Why was this necessary? Why didn't you do this yourself? Why did Morgana act this way? Why did all those people die this way?

She said one word but her questions were many. I smiled sadly and answered all of her unasked questions, "Believe it or not, this was necessary. I needed you to see this part of Morgana because it is equally a part of her as the civilized face she usually shows. There is one fundamental fact that you must never forget, Morgana might look human , act human, hell she is half human but at her core she is one of the fay and they are not human. Humans may manipulate mana to use magic but the fay are magic; they live it , they breath it and it is an essential part of who they are. Their magic comes from deep inside their souls and as such is a part of their identity. A fay who controls water would be as mercurial as the sea, a fay tied with the earth would be as steady as a mountain, a fay who uses flames would be as explosive as an inferno, you get the idea. They are tied to strong forces of nature and as such they embody the basic traits of their elements."

"Are you saying that I should fear Morgana? If that is the kind of person she is, why did we even agree to help her?"

"Ah, we come to the crux of the matter. Should you fear Morgana? No, in fact you should pity her. When she got her powers, she had just been raped by a man she had trusted and loved like a brother. Her state of mind was fragile and when her power blossomed, it was guided by her bleak emotions. In the end she formed a connection with the least understood and most terrifying power out there. Because of her traumatic experience she unknowingly took the unfathomable power of darkness into her soul and by the time she realized what the darkness really was , it was far too late."

"What does that mean? What is the darkness?"

"What is the darkness? It is much more than absence of light. Darkness is fear, darkness is sorrow , darkness is the cloak that hides all evil but above all darkness is hunger. It hungers to consume all that is light and good, it hungers for the destruction of all that is and all that will be. The darkness is emotionless, cold and terrifying and Morgana unknowingly took this most terrifying force inside of her soul. Since that day, she has been struggling to control the darkness. She has tried to chain it up and make it obey her will but the darkness doesn't have a true master. It follows if there is destruction but what about other times? What feeds its insatiable hunger at other times? That is the greatest burden that Morgana has to face. She can only feed it parts of herself to keep it from feeding on everything else."

"She feeds it parts of herself?"

"Yes. She feeds it her memories, losing them forever as she sacrifices them to the endless void. She feeds it her vitality, so much so that the once immortal fay has a little more than five more years to live now. She feeds it her very flesh and blood then she uses fay glamour to make herself appear healthy and strong even though she is suffering terrible pain and unimaginable injuries. What I just did was to feed the darkness so that she wouldn't have to. Sure the fate of the soul puppets is sad but it is fleeting. Morgana has dealt with more pain in her life than anybody should go through. She has such darkness in her soul but her heart remains pure. What I did now was an act of mercy Jules, I gave respite to a woman that perhaps deserves it more than any other."

Jules was no longer scared or horrified by what she had seen, instead she was crying. She was crying for a woman whose entire life was a tragedy. She was crying for a woman who had seen hell but still chose to sacrifice so much for those around her. She was crying for a woman who fate had decided to torment unfairly.

Jules was crying for a good woman who had endured far too much.