Closing his eyes, Zhi concentrated on his breathing again. Taking long slow steady breaths then exhaling just as slowly after a period of 20 seconds. His senses begin to dull, the external noise, the feeling of clothing covering his body. The softness of the futon underneath him. It all fades away and only the slow steady rhythm of his heart remains. The soft dependable beat of his heart is now the center of his world. The louder thump, followed quickly by a second quieter thump. The beats begin to come slower as he concentrates on it. As he listens to the thump, thump, tempo it takes longer for it to come back each time and the thumps are getting lower. Time passes the sound is so infrequent and low now, after a while even that begins to fade away until there is only his self awareness.

For a time his consciousness just lingers there, floating in this empty space of self. Before he begins to reach out his senses to search around himself. It feels like hours have passed, as he is floating alone. It’s cold and lonely in the desolate void, but in this void he continues to search for something. Complete emptiness is all he finds for hours, the hours turn into days, days into weeks, weeks into months, months into years. Years pass and still he is alone in the void, it's so cold now and his searching has found nothing. Then finally a fleeting graze of something touches the edge of his consciousness. The heat radiating from it is gentle, but in the empty coldness of the void it almost feels too hot, almost burning him. Still he holds onto that feeling in his mind, it is now the only thing that matters.

It must have taken years to feel it’s heat again, it’s heat would almost burn him each time. But then it would leave before causing any real damage. Over time the heat would no longer burn, it would just radiate it’s gentle heat. Then it would disappear into the empty void again, leaving him alone in the endless cold to search desperately for it. Every time he feels like he almost found what he was looking for it would slip away, it’s warmth always just out of his reach. Over and over again he would feel it, the gentle touch of it next to him. Then it would be gone again, almost taunting him with its warm embrace. Decades have passed by now, he no longer remembers why he came here. Only that he needed whatever was playing with him, like a cat would play with a mouse.

Time passes, his companion no longer plays with him like before. They come to visit quite often now and stay for a while each time. Each time they embrace him much like a lover would after not seeing their partner for a long period of time. Their sweet embrace is a warm balm that soothes his soul and helps push away the coldness of the void. Even when they leave, much to his regret, he still feels warm in the darkness of the void. As time passes, he can no longer remember his name. It doesn't matter though, he doesn't need a name. As long as his lover is with him, nothing else matters in this empty place.

Centuries have passed now, his lovers' visits have become longer, and they have been leaving for shorter trips. The longer they are around, the better he feels. Their warm embrace is almost intoxicating now, it is the only thing he has known in this void of darkness. He feels that he can no longer live without its gentle touch. The few times they leave him for short periods of time are agonizingly painful. But on their return he instantly feels invigorated, almost like he is invincible.

He no longer remembers how long it has been, eons maybe? NO! Time doesn't matter anymore, for finally his lover has joined him. At first he thought they were staying slightly longer, but the way they wrapped around him and embraced him. He knew that finally they were no longer going to leave him again. His lover now caressed his whole being, enshrouding everything he was. In their warm embrace, he just floats along in the void. He knows that his entire existence was meant for this. Time beyond measure passes in the emptiness of the void, his lover is growing restless now. They want something from him, but he is not sure what it is.

He no longer has a name, he has no more memories. Hasn’t he given them everything that he is? No, that isn’t right. The only thing he has yet to give is his life. As soon as the thought came, he already acted. It was his lover after all, they deserved everything that he could give them. He released the hold he had over his sense of self, and gave it to his lover. They accepted it, and began to ooze themselves inside of him. He didn’t know what dying would feel like, but the gentle touch of his lover as they worked themselves into his body wasn’t a bad way to go. It took a while, but his lover was able to completely enter his body.

He thought he would die when he let go, but he was still here and closer than ever with his lover. Even inside him, they kept the coldness of the void away. His lover was now gently moving inside him, exploring everything that he was. Their touch was gentle as they moved around inside of him. They would fully explore an area, then move on to the next. He didn’t count the number of times they moved around his body. But he did notice when they finally slowed down and settled somewhere in his center.

After a while they started to send a little steam of themselves through his body. It would snake through his entire body, while still being connected to their main self in the center of his body. It would fill up his entire body and he could see all the little trails it took to get around himself. When it would finally connect back to it’s center self, the start point would disconnect and begin to race through his body, following the trail. He watched it in fascination as it would repeat. The same trail through his whole body, over and over it would go. After a while, when the circuit was almost complete, his lover would send out another stream to follow it. It took countless cycles of the same loop, with the trailing stream getting closer and closer to the stream it was chasing. But finally it stabilized and there were no longer two streams, one chasing the other. It just started, looped through the circuit in his body and returned to the center. One continuous motion, never stopping.

He lost himself as he watched his lover move throughout his body. It was almost hypnotic in motion. As he was floating there in the void, his consciousness fading away in the warm caress of his lover. Something happened, an explosion of blue color appeared in front of him. He tried to shake off the sluggishness he was feeling to figure out what had happened, but he felt his lover actually fight him in protest. His lover wanted him to rest. Whatever this was shouldn’t matter compared to what their lover thought, right? Their lover was always there for them as long as he could remember, this thing was new. He decided to trust his lover and began to let his consciousness fade away again. But another blue explosion of color appeared before him, this time even more powerful than before. Then another, and another, they wouldn’t stop. They wouldn’t leave him and his lover alone.

He couldn’t completely let go, his lover was getting agitated. She was moving through him faster and faster, she would pulse after each new explosion of blue. As this was happening he noticed something new, he heard something. He wasn’t sure what it was at first. It was too quiet. But as his lover and the blue explosions were getting faster, the sound was getting louder. He could finally hear it. Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, it was getting louder and faster as time passed. His lover was now struggling in the confines of his body and the blue explosions were becoming more clear. His sluggishness was almost gone and he could feel his lover protesting the more aware he became. The sound was so loud now, it was almost deafening, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump.

No, that wasn’t right. It wasn’t just the sound, he could feel each thump. It actually resonated with him, it was hazy, but he could actually remember something about it. It had been so long since he remembered anything about himself, his curiosity to know more was causing his lover to protest even more within him. They were struggling to break free from him now. The more aware he became, the more he tried to remember, the more his lover struggled to rip themselves from him. But they were already stuck, they were already one and they could never be separated again. It took a while, but he realised his lover's struggle was actually in time with the sound he was hearing.

Another blue explosion happened, this time he could actually make out what it was. It was a blue panel with words on it. He couldn’t read what it said, but it sparked another hazy memory. He reached for it, while his lover was struggling inside him in protest. Faster and faster they would move inside him as the sound would hammer against him in tempo. The words on the panel finally made sense to him, all the panels make sense to him now.

[Warning! Hosts needs to stop cultivating.]

[Warning! Oxygen intake is not sufficient for heart rate.]

[Warning! The host's heart rate is beating two times faster than recommended.]

[Warning! Hosts needs to stop cultivating.]

[Warning! Hosts needs to stop cultivating.]

[Warning! Oxygen intake is not sufficient for heart rate.]

[Warning! Hosts needs to stop cultivating.]

[Warning! Hosts needs to stop cultivating.]

[Warning! Oxygen intake is not sufficient for heart rate.]

[Warning! The host's heart rate is beating three times faster than recommended.]

[Warning! Hosts needs to stop cultivating.]

[Warning! Hosts needs to stop cultivating.]

[Warning! Oxygen intake is not sufficient for heart rate.]

Zhi’s eyes snap open and he takes in a ragged breath, before coughing hard trying to catch his breath. His heart is hammer in his chest and his body is soaked in a sticky secretion. He leans over, his back hunched over while his arms are on the futon holding himself up. It takes a while, but his breathing finally relaxes as his heart slows down. After composing himself he sits up.

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!?!

[Cultivation is a hell of a drug.]