Chapter 2: Fluvia Takes Note of Her Situation

Now that I’m eating regularly, I’m regaining my strength much more quickly.

It makes me wonder how they were keeping me alive before, since I don’t see anything like an IV drip, but I don’t pay it much attention.

“Can I have some paper and a pen?”

Several days after I finally rejoined the living, I asked a woman in a blue dress who has come to help me bathe.

Although instead of bathing, they’re just helping me wipe my body with a wet cloth.

Any shame I might have had has long since disappeared somewhere, so of course I’m not embarrassed to be helped like this.

As Fluvia Dellarose, my time of being bathed by maids… has been as long as I’ve been alive, even up to when I had collapsed, so it feels like it’s a little too late to be self-conscious of it.

Also, I’m a 5-year-old child. There’s nothing there to be ashamed of.

These women in blue dresses are called attendants, but they’re basically nurses and maids that clean the rooms and tend to the daily needs of the patients.

The one who has been assigned to me, now that I’ve woken up, is named Mary.

Like all the other, she’s wearing a plain steel-blue dress with her hair tied back in a white kerchief.

Hm. Although there might be some reason for these simple dresses, there’s no appeal at all.

The dresses practically hang straight down from the shoulders to the floor.

I guess avoiding the fuller skirts is better to keep from accidentally knocking into things, but the waistline and the neckline are really unflattering.

The designer in me can’t forgive this function-over-form approach!

I was a single mom in the previous life, but even I had aspirations before I had to let them go.

Dropping out of fashion school couldn’t be helped, but it’s true that I still kind of wished I could have finished.

Even though I managed to get my parents to let me go after such great pains, completely against their wills, I had to drop out because I got pregnant, and the man also broke up with me.

There’s little wonder that my strict mother had cut off ties with me in such a situation, I guess.

… I’ve thought of something unpleasant.

I wonder if it’s because I’ve become a child again that my thoughts wander much more than they used to.

Or perhaps it’s because I’m stuck in bed with a lot of time on my hands.

“Paper and pen, is it?”

Mary asked.

“Yes. I want to write a journal!”

I explain.

“Oh, I see. To know how to write already; Milady is certainly a young noblewoman.”

Mary chuckles softly as she begins to towel me dry.

Ah… we… learned letters? I think?

At least, I believe they were attempting to teach them to Fedor.

I don’t remember if I was learning them as well… oh well.

“Yes! Although I want to write it in a secret language.”

The secret language of Japanese.

“Fufufu. Okay! This Big Sister will get you a journal tomorrow!”

“Yay~!”

I keep the thoughts that Mary is a bit old to be a ‘Big Sister’ to myself and answer in an appropriately childish way.

That day, too, I chatted with the attendants, ate, had Healer Martin, the doctor-like man (or like, healers are the doctors of this world), come check on my condition and ask me questions, was bathed, and then slept.

Today I discovered that the sickness I had was called ‘brain fever’, and had almost killed me.

Although there was a House of Healing in Dellarose Earldom, my parents rushed me to the Hildeich’s House of Healing, as it boasted the best healing techniques in the country.

Hm… Dear Mother and Father, is that okay?

That’s like saying we have low confidence in our territory’s healers, right…?

Although I thought so, Healer Martin said that since the Dellarose Earldom borders the Royal Capital, Hildeich’s House of Healing is closer to the Dellarose Estate. That is, Dellarose’s House of Healing is on the other side of the Earldom.

Currently, Father is still at our House’s Estate, but Mother and Brother moved into the Dellarose Villa in the capital in order to be closer to me.

If I think of how Father is, un. He must be really upset he couldn’t come.

Was it because of his duties that he couldn’t come?

It has to be.

He would be right here with Mother, crying by my side, if there wasn’t someone restraining him.

But brain fever, they say … is it inflammation of the brain?

How scary!

I really could have died!

Even though I knew the pain and I still feel all weak, I didn’t really realize how bad off I was until I heard the name of the sickness.

I’m really going to be a very unchildish child…

In the end I wasn’t awake for very long today either and, while contemplating over how I really could have died, I fell asleep.

The next day, when I woke up, I saw a parchment-bound book lying on the bedside table.

I look around and see Mary adjusting the curtains.

“Mary, this is…?”

“Oh, good morning, Milady. I brought you a journal.”

I’m a little surprised that there really are journals in this world.

Is paper a common good in this world? Or am I being spoiled because I’m the daughter of a noble?

Or should I think of it as something that’s at least capable of being used as a toy of a noble’s child?

As I rub the sleep from my eyes (it seems like I have low blood pressure – well of course, I haven’t been eating well!), I notice the inkpen and bottle.

Uuun… I don’t know how to use this…

“Mary, can you teach me how to use the pen?”

“Of course, Milady. But first, let me air out the room and…”

“Later is fine; it’s okay if it’s when you have a break or at lunch.”

I lean back against my pillows and close my eyes.

I really am bad with mornings.

It didn’t really need to be a journal, but I’m grateful Mary helped me get the things for writing.

With my memory so hazy, I wanted to write down the things I remembered from my previous life that would impact my current life.

And who knows, if I start writing them, I might remember even more.

Of course, I’m going to write them in Japanese.

If anyone found my notes on YabuKoi… un.

It would be a disaster!

If I write a little sloppily, it might be seen as a child’s scribbling.

Mary chats with me as she wipes the window-ledge with a cloth, tidies my bedclothes, and goes for the water basin and cloth so she can wipe me down again.

It seems she lives with her sister, who has children around my age, so she’s used to amusing kids.

That must be why she’s my attendant.

After she wipes me down and changes my clothes, she brings some clean rags and lays them down in my lap before she shows me how to draw the ink into the pen, how to clean the nibs, and how to use the drying powder.

I wish there was a bed table, the type with tiny legs that can sit over your lap, but it can’t be helped…

Although I get ink all over my hands, I figure out how to draw ink into the pen.

Mary shows me how to write the letters of this world and this country, then cleans my hands and goes off to check on my lunch.

Un. Although I won’t be writing in my journal in this country’s letters, it would be good to practice them, wouldn’t it?

Okay, enough distractions.

It’s back to my original goal – trying to remember the past.

Or more specifically, what I know about YabuKoi.

I wait for the ink to dry, then flip to the next page of the journal.

Let me think.

Fluvia Dellarose (YabuKoi vers) was supposed to have a great potential for magic, the first after a good many generations of the Dellarose family.

Un. The memories I have of living as Fluvia Dellarose for the first three years of my life supports that.

Although Dellarose Mama and Papa didn’t neglect to dote on my brother Fedor as well, I can remember many times where they were praising me for my magic and telling me how I’ll grow up to be something great.

Now that I have suddenly obtained a lot more (or another) life experience, I understand that they are pinning the hopes of an increase in status for the Dellarose family on me.

The problem is now.

When I was 4-years-old, I got brain fever was in and out of consciousness for a full year.

This also follows YabuKoi.

And in that YabuKoi, this resulted in Fluvia being unable to use magic.

I don’t know the details and haven’t been diagnosed with it yet, but with how things are going, I can’t imagine my situation differing from YabuKoi’s Fluvia.

Everything else so far has been completely accurate.

Even if there’s a chance that it might be different, I should be prepared to hear that I’ve lost my magic.

If I was YabuKoi’s Fluvia, I will become very bitter over this loss and, while still institutionalized at the House of Healing, I will somehow come across Ghost Arts and greedily learn it in order to compensate for my loss.

Okay~! I understand the situation now!

Although I don’t know how YabuKoi’s Fluvia came across that illegal magic, I will avoid learning Ghost Arts with all my strength!

It’s not like I don’t understand YabuKoi Fluvia’s feelings. With those doting parents going on and on about ‘great magic this’ and ‘great magic that’, any young child would go a little weird.

She must have been insane with desperation, and Ghost Arts just fell into her hands at the right, or wrong, moment.

However, this is where that Fluvia and I part ways!

Sorry, but I don’t want a damn thing to do with Ghost Arts! … it seems so easy for me to completely deny that Fluvia’s feelings, but that’s a matter of course.

I have been blessed with the memory of another life, and as such, although I am currently 5-years-old, I can see things with an adult perspective, and I understand things I think YabuKoi’s Fluvia couldn’t.

Even if I disappoint Mama and Papa Dellarose, they will still love and dote on me.

Just look at how they dote on Fedor, despite pushing all their hopes on little Fluvia.

There’s no doubt that, although they are somewhat short-sighted people and I have some concerns to the degree of their ambition, at the very least, they will not abandon their children.

On top of that … magic? Is that tasty?

I lived an entire other life without any of it, so although I am certainly disappointed that I’ve lost something I had, and I’m sad to disappoint my family, honestly, I don’t feel much loss.

It’s just a bit of a shame.

A breeze wafts in through the slightly opened window as I smile down at the points I wrote down.

It feels good, both the breeze and the realization that I can successfully avoid going down the illegal route, as long as I’m diligent.

There’s still the problem of Ryllia Piermont, but THAT, or rather, SHE is much less of a problem then my illegal ventures.

After all, it’s the Ghost Arts that Ryllia found useful, and it’s the Ghost Arts Ryllia used as a scapegoat.

If Fluvia Dellarose has no Ghost Arts, what use is she?

There shouldn’t be a reason for me to be too wary of Ryllia, right?

Wrong!

What concerns me is that THAT kind of greedy, horrible thing will become Brother’s fiancee!

Hmph!

Do you think this Fluvia Dellarose will allow such a deplorable woman near him?

Go put your gold-digging claws on someone else!

Although Ryllia would only be 3 or 4-years-old at the moment, so such a statement is a bit premature…

Anyway, I don’t know why we chose Ryllia for Brother’s fiancee, but we should absolutely increase his fiancee candidates!

Why would I say such a thing?

Well… um … it’s a bit hard to say, because he’s now my brother, but I distinctly remembered being shocked at the CG my daughter had showed me.

The sickly, thin Fluvia next to a doughy, round creature with red hair.

I couldn’t believe they were twins.

I might be being rude, but … you know, there was a chance that we were desperate to secure a fiancee candidate for Brother…

I can’t help but think back to the chubby 5-year-old who comes in for visits.

Un. He’s already on the path towards that end.

No good!

For the sake of Brother’s happy future, I must raise him into a fine man and avoid letting a woman who would just use him and toss him away to have even a chance at getting close to him!

I wonder if it would be good to try to elevate our family’s status, too.

It’s only natural that a higher ranking noble will have more options for marriage right?

However! The method we use absolutely cannot be the method that Fluvia used in YabuKoi!

Unn… but then, how could I go about it…?

For that matter, even if she could infiltrate and spy on people with Ghost Arts, how the heck did little Fluvia manage to navigate that stormy sea called ‘nobles’ politics’?

In YabuKoi, it’s said she catapulted the Earl Dellarose’s standing towards near the top when she was 8-years-old.

Even I, the current Fluvia with a 37-year-o – ahem, a forever 20-year-old woman’s brain, don’t have any idea where to start!

Ah, excuse me.

That kind of thing is a secondary concern; the main problem is Ryllia Piermont becoming Brother’s fiancee, and also how to limit my personal contact with her.

Let me think…

My daughter didn’t like Ryllia much, so I don’t really know ALL that much about her.

I don’t even know if she was marrying up or marrying down the ranks of nobility by becoming engaged to Brother.

All I know is that she was some noble’s daughter, and is the rival character when the heroine was going after any one of the top three capture candidates.

Although I don’t know exactly what those men were the ‘top’ of.

I assume looks, status, and wealth? Although I’d prefer it if ‘personality’ was also included in that, I would imagine it’s hard to rank personalities.

Those men are… unnn…

I have to think too hard to try to remember, to a point where I get a little dizzy, but I manage to dig it out somehow.

Ryllia is the rival for the each of the storylines of the Crown Prince, the First Son of the Minister of Magic, and the genius young candidate for the next Minister of Internal Affairs.

Geh. Indeed, the top three!

By the way, I, as little Fluvia, was told that the people with the most power in our country are, in order of greatest first: the King, the Minister of Magic, the Minister of Defense, and the Minister of Internal Affairs.

That’s right, Ryllia is going after the young bachelors who can influence three of the people who hold the most power in the country!

If Ryllia is targeting those kinds of high-profile guys, then this Fluvia will stay away from them!

As I’m writing it down, nodding and muttering, “un, un,” I felt a chill run down my back.

… Once again, I, this Fluvia, do declare that I will stay far away from the Crown Prince, the First Son of the Minister of Magic, and the candidate for the Minister of Internal Affairs!

A strong gust blew through the room, startling me as the window curtain flapped like a flag in the wind.

◆◆◆

Fluvia Dellarose’s Journal, Entry 1

xx Day, First Quarter of Spring, xxx Year

My Beloved Daughter,

You won’t believe what happened! Your mom just woke up in that one game you’re always talking about, and as your favorite character!

I wonder if you’d be excited for me, or if you’d be worried for me.

Don’t worry, I properly remember the two things that bring Fluvia’s doom:

Ghost Arts Ryllia Piermont

I realized everything when Fluvia, that is, I, woke up from the brain fever, so I will definitely be able to change her fate, I think. Fluvia learned Ghost Arts because she was upset from losing her magic, right? So I can just choose to avoid learning it, right? The worst ending, at least, will be easily avoided!

As for Ryllia, don’t you think Brother, I mean, Fedor, got too big? I mean, even though he’s just 5-years-old right now, he’s already starting to get big! And very cheeky. I think he was worse than you when you were 5 – just kidding! He definitely is. You acted much cuter.

I will do my best to raise him into a handsome, upright young man so his chances for finding a better woman will increase. If we can have other women interested in him, maybe we won’t need to deal with Ryllia.

I myself will avoid being around the people that Ryllia uses or chases around, like the Crown Prince, that son of the Minister of Magic, and the genius Minister candidate.

… For some reason, your mom is feeling anxious as she writes that last sentence.

Wish me luck!

I love you.

.

.

.

And please, forgive me.

I want to see you.