《Useless Strength In The Modern World》Faceslapping Is The Strongest Skill
Advertisement
Grinding cultivation was a pain in the a*s, but Zhuge Lian knew it had rewards. After so much time cultivating, he had finally received that orgasmic System notification sound he had come to know and love during his time of secluded meditation. He couldn't get enough, and the feeling of progression hooked him.
However, he didn't receive his lovely cultivation rewards just yet, and that was quite strange.
◢Perhaps the System didn't count my cultivation? No way! I received those EXP notifications...◢
"System, why aren't my rewards being given to me yet?"
*Ding*
Host, I am currently calculating your rewards and gains from this session of secluded meditation. If you continue acting like a spoiled brat who cannot wait for mealtime, I can always nullify your rewards and remove the need for me to calculate any longer.
"Wait- No! I need my rewards... System... Please... I'll call you father... no, I'll call you grandfather!"
*Ding*
Who wants a grandson like you...
"..."
◢Why does it feel like this is the Godly System of Insults and not the Modern Strength System...◢
*Ding*
Finished calculating.
Godly Bodhisvatta Art Level 1 -> Level 3.
+5 EXP per cycle -> +7 EXP per cycle.
Cultivation level upgraded, 3000 EXP received.
Redirecting Stage One 10/200 EXP -> Redirecting Stage Seven 310/800 EXP
Hitting Force: 3.5KN -> 21KN
Internal Force/Qi: 0 -> 1
Congratulations on your first wisp on Inner Qi, attained in the Redirecting Stage! This Qi can be burnt or used in skills to increase your combat power or used to create spiritual items.
Zhuge Lian was almost frightened to death from all the System notifications. Alone, each announcement created a slight "Ding!" noise that reverberated in his head and was very calming and pleasant. However, nine announcements at once caused his head to spin, and it felt like a traveling crew of triangle players were parading around in his head.
Advertisement
Once his headache subsided, he began to take a look at his rewards from the past few weeks.
◢F*ck, it was mentally exhausting and tedious cultivating in seclusion like that... I had better get some good rewards, or I really will rip through the dimensional barrier to wherever the System is from and beat it to death.◢
When he finished reading, Zhuge Lian had to try and stop himself from yelling in excitement. Try as he did, a small whimper of happiness still escaped his lips.
◢21 KN?◢
Zhuge Lian searched up statistics online for how hard professional boxers could punch, and the average strength was 4KN to 7KN. His current punching strength had surpassed a world-class boxer's punching strength by three whole times...
◢After so much cultivation... it is time to get to the most exciting part. Using! My! Strength! But where could I possibly go...◢
He knew there was a famous MMA gym near him, but he was afraid of getting beaten, afraid of getting destroyed, afraid of injury-
◢No more, Zhuge. On this path of cultivation, you reminded yourself that you would be steadfast and strong. You can't give up on the very first step!◢
Zhuge Lian resolutely called for the elevator and tried to calm himself by counting sheep. However, his overactive mind imagined a strong boxer mercilessly killing all of the jumping sheep, and then Zhuge Lian too...
◢Okay, maybe that's enough counting sheep.◢
He found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror again on his way down from his apartment. For some reason, his skin began to gain the luster of silver and the shine of the brightest gems you could find.
◢Damn, after all these years, I finally look so goo-◢
Just as he was admiring his toned body in the mirror, a middle-aged woman walked into the elevator and looked at him with disgust, staying in the corner. She whispered, but Zhuge Lian could still hear her muttering under her breath. "Youth these days, so superficial and disgusting, constantly looking at themselves, even in the mirror of an elevator..."
Advertisement
All Zhuge Lian wanted to do was hide, but unfortunately... he lived on the 34th floor of his apartment building, and their elevator was notoriously slow. He had to sit through a full minute with the middle-aged lady constantly muttering about society's youth, and at the end, all he wanted to do was hide back in his room.
After a truly hallenging and embarrassing experience, the elevator doors finally opened, freeing Zhuge Lian from his painful existence inside the elevator. After not having been outside for so long, the brightness of the sky blinded his eyes. He had been immersed in his dark world of cultivation for so long that he had even forgotten the smell of fresh air. He took in his surroundings with a refreshed mind and began walking towards the MMA gym.
As he got closer and closer, he started to spot more and more martial artists on their morning run outside the gym. After some time, he managed to get a reasonably good understanding of the belt ranking and hierarchy of the gym. All the white belts ran together, and it was the same with the yellow belts, blue belts, brown belts, and black belts.
As Zhuge Lian continued walking to the MMA gym, his muscles began to tense up once again. Unknowingly, his frame began to bulk up as he clenched his arm and leg muscles. A pair of white belts started to stare and eventually nudged their master in the shoulder. Zhuge Lian only began to notice when a brown belt came up to him and asked: "Hey. You look strong. Do you want to join the Barbatos Gym as a member of my faction?" Zhuge Lian, excited, said, "Yes."
As he walked with the brown belt to the MMA gym, drawing some attention, he noticed already that half the blue and white belts were staring at him and his new teacher with hostility and some with downright rage.
◢Oh, sh*t.◢
Advertisement
- In Serial6 Chapters
Diamonds of Tesmaro
Diamonds of Tesmaro is an epic novel about a young Kuro man, Comotos Wellshur, who has ten years of Bounty Hunting training under his belt. He wakes from a frightmare of his past. He experiences the dream every year the night before his birthday but this year is different. That morning he meets a beautiful barmaid, Drusilla, and saves her from a wanted criminal with the highest known bounty on his head, dead or alive! He beheads the criminal, almost losing his life in the process, but the girl he saves is special. She reveals to him a hidden weapon that he carries with him at all times and he uses it to defeat the criminal, it even talks to him! They eventually fall for each other. They travel together, get to know each other, and help each other. Comotos takes Drusilla with him to meet his mentor, Mark and they end up fighting a gang of hoodlums that are literally hanging out at the Bounty Hunter Organization. Mark gives Comotos the bounty money for the criminal after he pickpockets all of the thugs they knocked out. The trio travel to the Ashlar Kingdom to tell the King and his advisor about the completed bounty and all three are rewarded with a free meal and boarding for the night, they meet the King's sorcerer and they are treated to a magic show but something doesn't smell right. After dinner Comotos talks a walk outside and finds the magician talking to someone about them on its wand, he confronts it and learns that someone across the ocean wants to meet him for a special mission. The next morning Comotos and Drusilla and the magician go into the marketplace and shop. Afterward, they take a walk to the docks where Comotos gets robbed! He chases down the culprit only to find out it is a hybrid woman, he helps her up but she spits in his eyes and calls for the guards. He is taken to jail, not before tossing his bag of money to Drusilla, telling her to keep it safe. Drusilla, unfortunately, loses the bag of money to the woman, as she is a more skilling fighter. Both the magician and Drusilla are knocked out and they wake up in darkness, tied to a thick piece of wood. The light shines in on them and the woman approaches, saying that she is sorry if she hurt them, she only wanted the money. Drusilla spittles in the woman's face and she becomes very angry and punches her in the face, which instead of hurting her, breaks her hand. The captain of the ship there comes into the room and tells the woman to get her hand looked after. He tells Drusilla that is his wife and he has to tell her often not to steal from people on the beach. They eventually go to bail Comotos out of jail, not before he meets Lance, another prisoner. He is there because he practically destroyed the very place he was meant to protect. A fellow soldier broke his glasses right after he was knighted and Lance lost his temper and ended up in jail. Comotos' weapon tells him that this guy could be an asset to him and he bails him out when Drusilla finally shows up. There is so much more that happens but I don't want to spoil anything. :3
8 83 - In Serial16 Chapters
Valkyries and Blade Dancers
It has been a millennium since the dawn of the war between the aradama and the Toji and there are absolutely no signs of the conflict ending. This status quo had more or less remained the same throughout the centuries; the aradama had failed to destroy humanity while the Toji had failed to eradicate the aradama. However, this would all change during the 123rd National Swordsmanship Tournament. One after the other, multiple calamitous events rocked the island nation of Japan to its core...
8 316 - In Serial30 Chapters
Baseball Princess
Lindsey Adams does not want to do a spring sport in her Freshman year. However, she needs something to do with her free time. Then it hits her: manage a team. But which team? Baseball.She finally works up the nerve to talk to the coach, and he lets her manage the varsity team. She has to come to every practice and game, and even join the boys if they go out for a celebratory meal. Sounds great, right? Spending all that time with all the upperclassmen six packs. That's exactly what Lindsey thought.What she didn't expect was sixteen new brothers that watch her every move and beat up every boy who lays an eye on her. Now how is she supposed to get asked to Prom?
8 292 - In Serial15 Chapters
RE: Necromicy! The Mouse Necromancer!
Mikey was a good boy... with some mental issues, as his mother drunk a lot while being pregnant, and father sometimes could drop him while tying to cuddle him (he was always drunk) and because of his problems he never got friends. BUT when he was in London in the year of 2012 he got hit by a firetruck and died. But that was not the end of his journey, as he met an old lady Death, who actually likes cute things, and doesn't have friends due to her looks. So the little guy befriended her before transporting to the new world, but... Death being an airhead as she is, accidentally turned him into a mouse... *** Warning! This fiction has no serious plot and is set with rules of Pyro universe, slightly modified. Made because there were no Mouse Necromancers... There was a Hamster Demon lord, but... RIP Hamster... Will be updated at least once a week, unless said otherwise. Chapters will be quite short by the way. Chapters will be posted when I push myself to continue with this fiction. Moose decided to run away, or muse... or mouse, but in this case, it's probably the fault of my cat...
8 174 - In Serial16 Chapters
The Millenium Of Luna Flora
Here the Universe uncouple from the active mundane and concrete rationality to blend with the enigmas of bizarre mystic phenomenon.
8 140 - In Serial50 Chapters
Kiss It Better, Dr. Ross
After getting diagnosed with leukemia, Brendon decides to refuse treatment and enjoy the remainder of life as freely as he pleases. He decided to keep his condition hidden from as many people as possible, but those who do know are against his choice. Brendon never had an ounce of regret for his decision, that was until he meets a stranger at a nightclub. For the first time, he starts having conflicting thoughts when he finds himself taking a liking to Dr. Ryan Ross.
8 109

