《Useless Strength In The Modern World》Faceslapping Is The Strongest Skill
Advertisement
Grinding cultivation was a pain in the a*s, but Zhuge Lian knew it had rewards. After so much time cultivating, he had finally received that orgasmic System notification sound he had come to know and love during his time of secluded meditation. He couldn't get enough, and the feeling of progression hooked him.
However, he didn't receive his lovely cultivation rewards just yet, and that was quite strange.
◢Perhaps the System didn't count my cultivation? No way! I received those EXP notifications...◢
"System, why aren't my rewards being given to me yet?"
*Ding*
Host, I am currently calculating your rewards and gains from this session of secluded meditation. If you continue acting like a spoiled brat who cannot wait for mealtime, I can always nullify your rewards and remove the need for me to calculate any longer.
"Wait- No! I need my rewards... System... Please... I'll call you father... no, I'll call you grandfather!"
*Ding*
Who wants a grandson like you...
"..."
◢Why does it feel like this is the Godly System of Insults and not the Modern Strength System...◢
*Ding*
Finished calculating.
Godly Bodhisvatta Art Level 1 -> Level 3.
+5 EXP per cycle -> +7 EXP per cycle.
Cultivation level upgraded, 3000 EXP received.
Redirecting Stage One 10/200 EXP -> Redirecting Stage Seven 310/800 EXP
Hitting Force: 3.5KN -> 21KN
Internal Force/Qi: 0 -> 1
Congratulations on your first wisp on Inner Qi, attained in the Redirecting Stage! This Qi can be burnt or used in skills to increase your combat power or used to create spiritual items.
Zhuge Lian was almost frightened to death from all the System notifications. Alone, each announcement created a slight "Ding!" noise that reverberated in his head and was very calming and pleasant. However, nine announcements at once caused his head to spin, and it felt like a traveling crew of triangle players were parading around in his head.
Advertisement
Once his headache subsided, he began to take a look at his rewards from the past few weeks.
◢F*ck, it was mentally exhausting and tedious cultivating in seclusion like that... I had better get some good rewards, or I really will rip through the dimensional barrier to wherever the System is from and beat it to death.◢
When he finished reading, Zhuge Lian had to try and stop himself from yelling in excitement. Try as he did, a small whimper of happiness still escaped his lips.
◢21 KN?◢
Zhuge Lian searched up statistics online for how hard professional boxers could punch, and the average strength was 4KN to 7KN. His current punching strength had surpassed a world-class boxer's punching strength by three whole times...
◢After so much cultivation... it is time to get to the most exciting part. Using! My! Strength! But where could I possibly go...◢
He knew there was a famous MMA gym near him, but he was afraid of getting beaten, afraid of getting destroyed, afraid of injury-
◢No more, Zhuge. On this path of cultivation, you reminded yourself that you would be steadfast and strong. You can't give up on the very first step!◢
Zhuge Lian resolutely called for the elevator and tried to calm himself by counting sheep. However, his overactive mind imagined a strong boxer mercilessly killing all of the jumping sheep, and then Zhuge Lian too...
◢Okay, maybe that's enough counting sheep.◢
He found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror again on his way down from his apartment. For some reason, his skin began to gain the luster of silver and the shine of the brightest gems you could find.
◢Damn, after all these years, I finally look so goo-◢
Just as he was admiring his toned body in the mirror, a middle-aged woman walked into the elevator and looked at him with disgust, staying in the corner. She whispered, but Zhuge Lian could still hear her muttering under her breath. "Youth these days, so superficial and disgusting, constantly looking at themselves, even in the mirror of an elevator..."
Advertisement
All Zhuge Lian wanted to do was hide, but unfortunately... he lived on the 34th floor of his apartment building, and their elevator was notoriously slow. He had to sit through a full minute with the middle-aged lady constantly muttering about society's youth, and at the end, all he wanted to do was hide back in his room.
After a truly hallenging and embarrassing experience, the elevator doors finally opened, freeing Zhuge Lian from his painful existence inside the elevator. After not having been outside for so long, the brightness of the sky blinded his eyes. He had been immersed in his dark world of cultivation for so long that he had even forgotten the smell of fresh air. He took in his surroundings with a refreshed mind and began walking towards the MMA gym.
As he got closer and closer, he started to spot more and more martial artists on their morning run outside the gym. After some time, he managed to get a reasonably good understanding of the belt ranking and hierarchy of the gym. All the white belts ran together, and it was the same with the yellow belts, blue belts, brown belts, and black belts.
As Zhuge Lian continued walking to the MMA gym, his muscles began to tense up once again. Unknowingly, his frame began to bulk up as he clenched his arm and leg muscles. A pair of white belts started to stare and eventually nudged their master in the shoulder. Zhuge Lian only began to notice when a brown belt came up to him and asked: "Hey. You look strong. Do you want to join the Barbatos Gym as a member of my faction?" Zhuge Lian, excited, said, "Yes."
As he walked with the brown belt to the MMA gym, drawing some attention, he noticed already that half the blue and white belts were staring at him and his new teacher with hostility and some with downright rage.
◢Oh, sh*t.◢
Advertisement
- In Serial315 Chapters
The Complete Alchemyst book 1
You've heard of superheroes, seen them flying across the sky, destroying great swaths of cities and ending countless innocent lives in order to defeat great evils and world-spanning threats and sell lots of sponsorships and merchandising opportunities. This is a story about the guy that is not those heroes. A supervillain in a world where making the right friends and political contacts is what separates the good guys from the bad. The Alchemyst is a story about a normal guy in a crazy world that spends his time trying to follow his dreams and conscience, working on new potions, thinking about girls, and lifting heavy shit, while trying to stay under the radar of the superheroes, supervillains, and governments that want what he can do. And occasionally turning them into makeshift melee weapons. If you enjoy The Boys, the Aberrant roleplaying game, Mystery Men, Trashy romances, Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, or SAW you may enjoy this book. Please note that this book has extremely graphic and sometimes gross fight scenes, heroes as villains, villains as heroes, opinionated and often politically incorrect characters, some graphic sex scenes, dad jokes, dirty jokes, realistic depictions of romance and flirting, bondage and dominance themes, and more than a few cuss words when they are really appropriate. This is NOT a superhero genre deconstruction. Many heroes truly are heroes, and they don't all need to be destroyed to make a good story, but it does look into the dark side of superpowers and the unreasonable and often contradictory demands placed on exceptional people.
8 205 - In Serial10 Chapters
Saints Row: The World Is Yours
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, these are owned by THQ and Volition. This fanfiction follows and is loosely based on the aftermath of Saints Row: The Third. Steelport, a city that is the mainstay of violence caused by gangs. And within the Third Street Saint's success, the Boss's origins finally unfold. His name is Miguel Alatorre, a drug dealer who turned average Saint into its glorious yet laid-back leader.
8 75 - In Serial6 Chapters
Resurgence of an Immortal - Sample
This is a sample of my upcoming book. Follow Dexter as he's thrown into a world of monsters, both of the human and beast variety. He must survive and grow strong enough to return to Earth and reunite with his beloved fiance Amelia. This progressive fantasy combines Eastern and Western themes. Fans of Dungeons and Dragons or similar book series like Will Wright's Cradle and Tinalynge's Blue Phoenix are sure to enjoy this novel as well. I would appreciate any and all feedback while this is still in an editing stage. Thank you.
8 83 - In Serial32 Chapters
The Writer
Frustrated with his limits, the young writer Seven accepts an offer from a supernatural entity, traveling to its world whilst given the chance to live past his regrets. Humans, though, are creatures that don't easily change, and his warped views of reality turn him into an unpredictable ally or foe in the game of death that is to follow. For the sake of translating his new experiences into a written masterpiece, he will spare nothing, not even his own life - so long as the work is complete. *** Romance tag was previously there, but it starts quite late in the story and I've yet to reach that part. I know how it will happen (more precisely, how I want it to happen), but currently, there are just subtle nuances that can only be left to the reader's very expansive imagination, and I wouldn't call that romance but a
8 201 - In Serial49 Chapters
Lost Without You (A Justin Timberlake FanFiction)
*Sequel to Finding You (A Justin Timberlake FanFiction)**Read that before reading this!* The 20/20 Experience Tour is over and now the Timberlakes are back home in LA. Now that they are home, Ariana has to face the problems that were created in her new life with Justin and Jess. How will she figure out what she's going to do and how she will live her life? *Any characters I create are MINE and only MINE**Completed!*
8 171 - In Serial50 Chapters
Muslim & Pakistani Love stories
Love has no reasonsLove have no seasonWhen you love someone,all you wish to spend time with them, wishes to a day to become long.'' Kya hoga agar mere lab tere lab se lag gaye Naraz kyu ho rhi ho tum badla he le lo
8 206

