Mel didn't return for a long time after Derrick left. I'm not sure if she was still mad at me for some reason, or if she just wanted to make sure the other human was gone. Perhaps she fucked off somewhere, leaving me to deal with the consequences of my mad dash and not-so brilliant scheming.

I was fucked.

And worse than just that, I was fucked sideways.

And upside down.

And backwards.

I collapsed into a heap on my cot and had a long, drawn out pout over how fucked I was. It was literally all I could think to do. With no money, or way to make money, I was boned. So I pouted and felt sorry for myself as I ran through my options.

The first one, obviously, was to just run. It was a delightful little option, since I was well rested, clean, and even had some supplies and things now. Just abandon the building, take the few coins I had, and just hit the road.

Pros, I got another chance. Sure, it would be only half a chance, really. But I would be able to apply what I've learned and give things another shot. I'd be down some armor, and a bunch of gold, but I'd be rich in experience.

Not literal experience, but that life lesson bullshit everyone's always talking about.

Cons, Duncan would find me eventually. He would know which way I ran, and with his money and reach he'd come after me. I'd never be safe again, and I'd end up a rotten mess trying to out think the man who was always one step ahead.

Option one wasn't looking too great.

In fact, I would call it the second least optimal option I had.

Option b was to double down. Maybe I'd work for Derrick (through Liam, because I wasn't up for playing whatever game the building inspector would want to actually offer me work), earn up the money needed for the upgrades, and open the eatery after a few months.

Pros here were obviously that I'd be less likely to lose everything, but the cons were a lot of hard work for little pay, and I risked Phelps catching wind and trying to take the building back from me. Since I'd already put so much gold and sweat into it, he could likely polish it off and then really turn around and sell this place for some money.

But no. I didn't like that one either. I didn't think it was as bad as option one, but it was pretty unappealing.

Escape plan alpha was the next thing I could think of. That was mostly the same as option one, but it involved going back to Kinon and hoping Duncan took me back in.

Literally the worst plan in existence, so I mentally set it on fire, pissed it out, and then buried it so far under my mind that it would never see the light of day ever again.

The last plan I could think of was equally as dumb. I entertained the idea, for just a moment, of working with some of the other eateries in the area. Maybe I could apprentice under them for money, and then I'd get funding to pay for this place and also actual experience as a chef. Maybe level up or something. But that would require me to find a chef who was willing to train their competition, and then it still had the cons of option b.

Mel returned sometime during my pouting, and she dropped a bit of food onto the edge of my cot.

I ate, sullenly, in silence.

She didn't bother asking what was wrong. Maybe she had some low-grade psychic shit going on as a pixie (I honestly never asked what kind of weird powers she had, other than the big/little thing, because I thought it was rude as fuck) or maybe she was just a good companion and could see I was wallowing in my own shit. Instead, she just ate her lunch and sat on her own cot, staring at her hands.

The worst part about all this was, though, that I had a fifth option. But it was stupid. Stupider than anything else I could have done.

It was the absolute dumbest thing a person could think of.

Like, so dumb, I didn't even want to think about it.

So, obviously, after thinking about things for 2.5 seconds, it was the plan I decided to go with.

"I think I know how to get us out of all this," I said to Mel, and the words felt like mush in my mouth. Apparently pouting for an hour had made part of my face numb or something. Or maybe I gave myself a stroke with all this hard thinking.

"Well, if you think it's best..."

I jolted and raised an eyebrow at Mel. "I didn't even tell you my idea."

"Oh. Is it not prostitution?"

"What?! No! Why would it be prostitution? For fuck's sake, Mel!"

The human-sized pixie grinned at me from under a halo of hair. "I mean, you aren't bad looking, Harps. For a human. And I'm sure you could show this town a little fun for some pretty decent coin." She paused, then winked. "It is the oldest profession for a reason."

Words turned to mush again, but I powered through anyway. "Pretty sure I couldn't even pay someone else to sleep with me, Mel, so, you know, uh, thanks anyway. But no. I wasn't thinking prostitution, or selling body parts, or any other weird shit." I paused. "Although, the idea I have is pretty weird."

"I'm all ears." She put her fingers behind her delicate little ears and pushed them forward as if she were angling them like a mutt hearing a high-pitched sound. "Or, well, not all ears, but you have my undivided attention."

"Alright. So, we're kind of low on funds, right?"

"Painfully so."

"And Derrick the building inspector wants me to make some more repairs to the building."

"Obviously."

"And I might have told Duncan that I'd start paying him a hundred gold a week starting next week."

"Of co-" but the words dried up in her mouth as her eyes widened. "Oh, Harper. No. You didn't."

"Yep. While you were sleeping."

"You absolute jackass."

"World's stupidest man, right here."

I could tell Mel wanted to throw something at me, but there wasn't anything in reach. Instead, she just balled up her fists and pressed them hard against her temples. "Oh I could fucking kill you right now, Harper. That was stupid! How could you be so stupid!"

"He was going to take me back, Mel," I said in a small voice. "He knew where I went. And my debt is up to sixteen thousand gold. He's not just going to let that slip."

"Fuck shit ass," she said, eloquently.

"Exactly my thoughts. Soooo..." I shrugged as I trailed off. "Everything's pretty shit right now and it can't get much worse, right?"

"I mean, aside from going back to Kinon and just handing yourself over to Duncan without a fight."

With a smile and a nod, I sat up on my cot. "Exactly. So, plan five. Or, well, I guess prostitution was plan five. So six."

"What happened to plans one through four?"

"Ranged from shitty to double shitty. Somehow worse than whoring myself out."

Mel laughed in spite of herself. She also sat up on her cot, and this time she rested her elbows on her knees so she could lean forward. Towards me. "Alright, Harps. You've got me on the edge of my seat. What stupid thing are you going to do to get out of this impossible bind?"

I laughed, a long and throaty laugh that boiled up from my belly. It sounded completely nuts to my ears, but it was also pretty genuine, and honestly I always loved a good belly laugh.

"Obviously, I'm going to borrow money from another lender."