18 :: The Hand that Feeds

Ryan leaned back in his chair. The rickety wooden joints groaned as the two legs struggled to support the full weight of a mostly-adult male. The classroom was arranged like a lecture hall in ascending tiers. Each tier hosted four two-person tables made from dark, worn wood. Ryan sat alone at his table in the back. Recent events had proven hard on his social life. Yesterday's outburst had sealed the deal. His former circle of friends had disbanded, scattering themselves amongst the various classroom cliques.

It hadn't been his fault. That damn professor kept trying to force them to use the local language in class. Ryan didn't want to come here in the first place. If these people really wanted his help, shouldn't they be the ones making accommodations? Why wasn't anyone else getting as angry as him? He knew that they didn't like it here, so why did they put up with it? So what if Ryan had given that cocky old man a piece of his mind? He spun a small metal orb between his fingers beneath the desk as he fumed. Nothing seemed to take his mind off things. Even when Christine came to his room last night looking to console him, he had been unable to welcome her and turned her away. He didn't need consolation. He had every right to be upset.

The students chattered amongst themselves as they killed time waiting for class to begin. Ryan kept to himself, though, continuing to fiddle with the object beneath the table. After a short wait, their professor entered the hall towing Adam behind him. The portly man with a thick head of salt and pepper hair fumbled with his notes as he made his way to the podium at the front of the classroom. The violet robe he wore swayed beneath his girth. Ryan observed his classmate, wrinkling his brows in concern. Something seemed different.

Adam was the type who could have been popular, had he not perpetuated an aura of inferiority during his entire high school career. He had a good face. He was in good shape, if a bit slender, but he went through life with his shoulders slouched, acting as if nothing that happened had anything to do with him. He could hold conversations if prompted, but he never initiated them on his own. Ryan had always considered him to be passive and reactive.

The boy who now stood in front of the class had an entirely different countenance. His posture was impeccable, and for once, a pair of pale green eyes could be seen peeking out from beneath his shaggy burnt-umber fringe. The indifference was still there, but now it resembled more of an aloofness than an apathy. The first time Ryan had seen those eyes was during the classroom brawl. Now, like then, they bored into him with a fearlessness that caught Ryan off-guard. He was honestly a little intimidated.

Perhaps it was the unfamiliar setting, or the fact that his friends had been keeping their difference, but Ryan suddenly found himself with an acute awareness of how uncomfortable this world made him. To say that life had gone against him lately would be an understatement, and yet, here before him stood a boy who had seemingly thrived where he, himself had failed. It sent a shiver down his spine.

The change in Adam was barely noticeable, but it struck Ryan to his core. Nobody, upon finding themselves stranded in another world, should appear this relaxed and confident. How had this kid managed to adjust so well within only the span of a week? Ryan recalled the girl he had seen Adam with a couple of days ago. Perhaps she was the reason for his change. He had felt a seething rage bubble up in the pit of his stomach when he saw them together. The locals of this world had no business cosying up to members of his class.

Ryan grit his teeth and sunk his fingers into the surface of the metal orb as he stared down Adam. The metal bent beneath his fingers like putty. The professor had started saying something about how Adam would finally be joining the class, but Ryan’s mind was elsewhere. Why did that kid constantly feel the need to associate himself with the worst types of people? Ryan huffed in discontentment and returned to fiddling with the sphere, its edges returning to normal as he removed his fingers. The next time he glanced up, Adam was headed his way. Ryan quickly stuffed the sphere into his pocket as he saw Adam approach. Adam smiled as he dropped himself into the empty seat to his side.

Having lost his distraction, Ryan finally began to listen to the words of the professor, nervously pulling his notebook onto his lap and pretending to inspect it. Of all of the empty seats in the classroom, why had he decided to sit here? Was Adam seriously out to get him? He scowled to himself as professor began his lesson.

“Today we will be passing out a report that our government has put together for the sake of helping you to better understand our country of Umbrian,” he announced, gesturing to the stack of papers he had brought with him. Grabbing a portion of the documents, he began to distribute them row by row. “We will spend the morning going over them together, so be sure to ask any questions that you may have.”

As the booklet entered Ryan’s hands, he immediately began to tune out the rest of the classroom and immerse himself in its pages. To his side, Adam thumbed through the pages, pretending to read. To Adam, this book was the culmination of a week’s work, and though he couldn’t learn anything from it, he did feel some pride towards it. Entering the classroom with that stack of papers had filled him with a sense of both power and accomplishment. He couldn't help but to grin a bit as he scanned the pages.

Something urgent had come up and Cogitan had been unable to meet as planned. Instead, Adam had left his draft with Minea who had given it to Cogitan’s secretary to be processed. Adam was honestly still a little concerned about meeting with the man who had offered to mentor him. He had enjoyed working on the report and he hadn't found any reasons to distrust the people of Umbrian. He had no reason to refuse Cogitan’s offer. They were scheduled to meet this evening, and though Adam had nothing to fear, he was still anxious. It was a big decision.

He glanced to his side to find Ryan burying his nose in the pages. He wasn't sure he had ever seen Ryan this studious. At least someone was making good use of the report. Adam was just glad that it had been enough of a distraction to snap Ryan out of his earlier rage. From the second Adam had entered the classroom, he had felt Ryan's gaze on him. He wasn't sure what he'd done to merit this level of animosity from Ryan, but he was getting sick of it. When he saw Ryan sitting by himself, he had thought it a good opportunity to begin resolving their issues. He hadn't expected Ryan to look as worried as he did when he approached. Adam was thankful that he had calmed down now that he had something to read. An excited whisper startled Adam and pulled him out of his musings.

“Adam!” Ryan whispered, leaning closer and never looking up from the booklet in his hands. “Do you see this?” he asked, indicating a passage inked on one of the pages. Adam pulled the report closer and skimmed the paragraph that had Ryan so excited. It was a piece from the section on the war Umbrian was currently engaged in.

“What about it?” Adam replied, still confused.

“These guys are in the middle of a war!” Ryan murmured. “They're in the middle of an actual war against other humans, and they summon us here and do nothing but a spout bullshit about sealing demons! Don't you think that's odd?”

“It might not be bullshit,” Adam replied.

“You can't be serious!” Ryan gasped. “You're a man of the modern age, and you're entertaining thoughts of demons?”

“Look,” Adam grumbled. “A week ago and I would have laughed it off as a joke, but now we've been summoned to a whole other world. There are supernatural forces at play here and I have no idea how they work, so I just don't think it's as impossible as I used to.”

“This,” Ryan whispered, pointing emphatically to a different paragraph. “Read this right here.”

Adam ran his eyes over the lines of the new paragraph, trying to understand what Ryan was getting at.

“This is a religious war!” Ryan continued. “Maybe the other countries think they're crazy too!”

“The people of this country are being persecuted for their religion, and you think that they're the bad guys?” Adam asked, skeptically.

“They kidnapped us, Adam,” Ryan explained. “They are the bad guys.”

“Trying to protect themselves does not make them bad guys,” Adam protested. “What does it matter anyways? These are the people feeding us, and clothing us, and so much more. Do you think you'll have better luck with a group of people who started a war because some guys were a different religion than they were? We're from a whole different world, Ryan. We were summoned here to help their enemies. They would probably kill us without a second thought. Besides, last I checked, nobody was holding a gun to your head and telling you to learn magic. What exactly do you find so unsatisfying about free room and board and education?” Adam finished, short of breath.

Ryan stared into the space before him with a scowl upon his face.

“Freedom,” he muttered, clenching his fist. “I want control of my life back. I don't want to live in the graces of others who have planned my future for me and taken me away from the ones I love. They might not be holding a gun to my head, but they've taken my entire life hostage! I want my free will back and no amount of free room and board will be able to compensate me for that!”

“Freedom has no inherent value, Adam sighed. “The value lies in what you use it for. You would choose the darkness over the shade for the sole sake of being able to say that you chose. Honestly, I believe that we left freedom behind in our old world. I don't think you'll find freedom here no matter which side you're on. We should just be grateful for what we have.”

“You're wrong!” Ryan hissed. “There is value in freedom. How can you take such a valuable thing for granted?”

“How can you assign so much value to an illusion?” Adam retorted. “We need to be focusing on finding a way home, not biting the hand that feeds us!”

“If you're happy with being hand-fed, fine, but there are some things that I will not endure,” Ryan scoffed. “I am not a creature and I am not a tool. I will do things my own way even if it means biting metaphoric hands and going hungry. I don't believe in demons. I don't believe in pushing my problems onto others. I don't believe in sacrificing my freedom for a warm bed.”

“What do you want? What exactly are you trying to convince me of?” Adam demanded angrily. “They can't send us home. No matter what we're going to have to integrate into someone else's society. I can understand that you're bitter, but you need to get over it. This ridiculous pride of yours is only going to get you in trouble.”

“It's not ridiculous!” Ryan shouted, jumping to his feet. The rickety chair scraped across the floor with a shriek, drawing the eyes of everyone in the room. “Have a little goddamn self worth,” he spat, gathering his things. Adam watched him shell-shocked as he marched out of the room, leaving the class submerged in an awkward silence. As the door swung closed behind him, Adam glanced around at the faces of his peers, their accusatory stares lacking any trace of subtlety. He sighed as he hurriedly stuffed the brief into his rucksack and raced out the door after his classmate.