Heavy.

Too heavy to bear any longer. I must rest.

For the first time I cannot remember, I cannot think. How far have I actually traveled? For how many years have I walked onwards without rest?

All of this time, all of that distance, I walked proud. I stood tall in the face of everything.

Or at least I believed that I did.

Now that I have finally stopped, I realize I am no longer the man that I once was. I can no longer remember him. What was he like? Was he kind? Was he strong? I cannot remember. Now that I have paused to rest, now that I have paused to reflect, I fear I cannot begin again. I can move forward on my own no longer.

The burden of knowledge was too heavy for me after all.

I was her favorite, from her flesh and blood I was born to bear the knowledge of all things. A living chronicle, to know all, to learn all, to remember all. She believed that I was strong enough, she believed that I could walk on endlessly. She was wrong.

My sisters and brothers were blessed with love, blessed with strength, blessed with courage. I was blessed with knowledge. Or at least at one point I believed that I was.

Now I believe that I am cursed.

Cursed to walk endlessly, unceasingly, learning and remembering until I collapse under the weight of the knowledge that I bear. With every step I take my burden grows heavier, my shoulders stoop and my back bends. I cannot carry it alone any longer without help. Is no one out there that can unburden me?

I fear her disappointment, for still do I crave her love. She raised me herself; she walked beside me as I grew. All things she did show me and my knowledge grew to encompass all. I was pleased, happy even. I was filled with joy as I fulfilled my purpose. I lived my life eager to learn more for her; to unburden her from the weight of the knowledge that she bore. For my burden grew heavier all the while hers grew lighter. And then one day, she carried nothing at all.

Then she was finished with me. She left my side, and I walked ever onward on my own. I was adrift, flotsam in a sea of nothingness. No purpose, no meaning, my burden grew until I found myself here. Bent, broken, defeated.

Did she ever love me as she loved her other children? Was I not also born from her? Or was I nothing more than a tool, a means to unburden herself from the infinite knowledge that she no longer wished to carry.

Someone save me from this weight I bear.

Someone save me from this hopelessness.

Someone save me from myself.

Save me.

L.

I leaned back in my chair, rubbing the heels of my hands into my eyes. This journal entry is the most precious thing I own and I consider myself lucky that Sebastian was able to procure it for me all those years ago. I only wish that he could have found more! I have the first puzzle piece sitting in front of me but nothing to connect it to. Hell, I don’t even know how many more pieces are out there!

I sighed and put my head down on my desk. It’s the same thing every night. I don’t know why I torture myself. I don’t know why I read this thing every night; I can recite it from memory at this point.

I raised my head and looked over my shoulder as a rustling stirred me from my musings.

“Daddy! You said you would tuck me into bed over an hour ago!” Isabella pouted. She was standing in the door to my study with her hands on her hips and her loose blonde hair hanging about her face and shoulders. “You promised me a story!”

I tried not to laugh as she stared me down with a scowl on her face. I stood from my desk and strode over to the door to face the wrath of my 5 year old daughter. “I’m sorry, baby. I lost track of time. I was just reading something. Come on, I’ll take you back to bed.”

Isabella’s night maid ran around the corner gasping for breath as I grabbed my daughter’s hand. “My lord! Forgive me! I closed my eyes for only a single moment and she managed to slip out of bed! Forgive us for disturbing your work!”

Out of the corner of my eye I spied my daughter hang her head. I burst out laughing and hugged my daughter closer to me. “No work was disturbed Helen, I was simply reading. I promised my daughter a bedtime story so that is where we are headed. Would you fetch me some tea though, Helen?”

“Of course lord!” Helen nodded eagerly. She dashed off as if fearing I might change my mind and punish her if she lingered even a moment longer.

I led my daughter back through the castle, marveling as I always did at the opulence of it all. I never wanted to be king, but my father said that was reason enough that I should be.

Gleaming metal suits of armor worn by legendary kings and heroes lined the hallways. Ornamental carpets and rugs, woven by the finest craftsmen, adorned the polished marble floors. My daughter and I ascended gilded staircases, their balustrades carved by master artisans as we passed room after room each filled with their own treasures.

I paused outside a set of closed doors, pressing my ear to them but hearing no sounds coming from inside. My heart hammered away in my chest as I reached for the door handle hesitantly. Mustering up everything I had, I was trying to finally work up the courage to open them. Isabella thankfully stopped me before I could turn the handle.

"Brother is already asleep!" She hissed. "Don't wake him up! He had a long day of training with the soldiers!"

"You're right," I smiled wistfully at the closed door. When was the last time the two of us spoke? Not since his mother passed; not since I remarried. He shut me out of his life completely.

I should have made more of an effort, I thought of everything that had kept me busy over the last few years. They were all excuses. I was just terrified of my son, terrified that he no longer loved me.

I cursed my weakness as I stepped away from the door, letting another day pass without making any amends with my boy.

Isabella and I continued a little further down the hallway, passing a hanging tapestry that depicted a beautiful field filled with Pokémon all crowding around a single smiling woman. Radiant, dazzling, magnificent; those were all words one might use to try to describe her though they all fell far short.

“Tell me the story of that one!” Isabella pleaded, pointing up at the tapestry as we strode by.

“The Mother again?” I asked, a smile retuning to my lips. My boy would still be here tomorrow and I could speak with him then.

Tomorrow for sure, I told myself.

"Daddy, I'm tired," Isabella said. She tugged my hand and we headed towards her room. "I need my story so I can fall asleep."

“Do you never tire of hearing that one?” I laughed at my daughter.

Isabella shook her head and stared at me with her brilliant green eyes. “It’s the only one that you tell well. I know all of your other stories are fake.”

“Do you really?” I chuckled. I led her into her room and scooped her up into my arms as she giggled and squirmed. I roared with all of my might and chucked her onto her bed where she laughed with glee. After she got under the covers I tucked them tight around her and sat in the armchair next to her bed. Helen knocked softly and brought in a teapot and teacup, setting her silver platter on the table and pouring me a steaming sleepy cup.

“My lord,” she bowed deeply and quietly left the room. The tea tasted as great as it smelled. It trickled down my throat and warmed my insides, thawing me out on this chilly winter evening. I stared off into the fireplace watching the flames flicker and dance; my mind was clouded from the journal I had been reading earlier. I knew it was the first clue to the history I had been searching for all of my life. I needed more, but I had responsibilities that I couldn’t shirk. And Sebastian, the only person I trusted, had retired.

“Daddy, hello?” Isabella said impatiently. “Are you going to tell the story?”

“Sorry, baby,” I laughed. “How does it start again?

“Once upon a time…,” Isabella yawned. I reached over and stroked her golden curls as she settled further underneath her blanket.

“Of course,” I smiled. “Just like all of my other stories.”

Once upon a time, there was a girl. She was the prettiest, the fairest, the smartest girl in all the land.

“And she was a princess right?” Isabella interrupted. She yawned again. “A princess like me?”

“That’s right, a princess,” I agreed.

“Tell it right daddy,” Isabella mumbled.

I smiled into the low light of the bedroom. “Let me start over then.”

Once upon a time there was a great Kingdom filled with beautiful people and loving Pokémon. The Kingdom stretched as far as the eye could see, from the edge of the world where the sun rose in the morning to the horizon where the sun sank at night. Everyone and everything lived together in harmony and there was no fighting, there was no war, and there was no hatred. It was a beautiful garden, a true paradise for all.

And in this kingdom lived a princess. She was the prettiest, the fairest, and the smartest princess in all the land. She was the princess of everything and everyone, and everyone loved her and she loved everyone back. She had more friends than she could ever play with and every Pokémon that she ever met loved her.

She played with all of her friends everyday. They spent their days walking through the forests, seeing who could climb the biggest tree and who could catch the most bugs. The oceans and rivers were theirs to swim in and explore, untold wonders hidden away in their depths just waiting to be discovered. And together they danced under the stars at night, gazing up at the heavens, comforted by the fact that they were all part of something bigger.

From morning until night laughter and happiness could be found all throughout the Kingdom, all the way to the edges of the world.

And then one day the princess met the most special friend that she would ever meet. From that day onward, the two of them played together everyday and became best friends. And then the most amazing thing of all happened!

“Do you remember what happened?” I asked Isabella. My eyes watched the fire play, but my mind was lost in my own story; it was lost in history.

My question was met with soft breathing as my daughter slept soundly under her blanket. I stood quietly and kissed her on her forehead.

“Oh well,” I mumbled under my breath. “I’m sure you’ll want to hear it again tomorrow.”

I slipped quietly from the room leaving the sweet and fragrant scent of the tea to lull my daughter into fair dreams, it was time for me to sleep as well.