《Bob's Ascension to Godhood》001: Dying twice on the first day
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Bob couldn't decide between thanking and cursing the gods.
He had liked his simple life; He had enough food to eat, enough time to sleep, and lots of free time in between to get bored with. Who would've thought that a kid's skateboard, a traffic jam, a pickup truck, and lots and lots of blaring horns would lead to his sudden death?
He was actually the one who caused the traffic jam and blaring horns, but still...
The last sounds he heard were the horns blaring, the cars crashing, and the kid crying and screaming his head off. And now, here he was, in this strange, magical place.
* * *
Bob looked around.
Above him was a tall tree with fruits that vaguely resembled apples.
To the north, he could see a magnificent mountain range, filled with high peaks that he definately couldn't climb.
To the west, he could see a barren desert, complete with some cacti here and there.
To the east, he could see a lush forest, filled with trees, trees, and more trees.
And finally, to the south, Bob could see what looked like a hungry dinosaur that was running straight at him.
Bob chose to test his nonexistent mountain climbing skills.
* * *
The dinosaur was closing in on him.
Bob kept running as fast as he could.
Unfortunately, he wasn't exactly a marathon runner, or even someone who did anything physical once in a while. Bob prepared to die for the second time today.
* * *
Bob was going to die in:
Three...
Two...
One.
The dinosaur caught up to him.
The dinosaur jumped over him and chowed down on the chubby bird that he had seen migrating north earlier.
The dinosaur laughed at his puny existence and jumped over him again.
The dinosaur headed back where it came from.
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Oh.
Well, that was fortunate. Also a bit depressing, though.
Bob's stomach grumbled in disapproval.
He decided to try to find something to eat before trying to get to the nearest village.
* * *
After scaring a few small animals off and getting scared off by the larger ones, Bob found that the fruits on the tree that he had appeared under were actually pretty similiar to an apple. At least, he hoped they were. If they weren't, Bob would rather die from the delicious fruits being poisonous than from being eaten by a dinosaur.
After picking a few of the apple things, Bob set off to the East, which seemed to be the least dangerous. If he went west, he would probably die of thirst or hunger; He didn't know how long it was because he couldn't see the end of the sea of sand. If he went North, the only thing he could guarantee was that he couldn't climb those mountains. And if he went south, well, maybe some of the monsters there wouldn't find him too puny to eat.
Hence, Bob set off going East.
* * *
Bob soon found what seemed to be a village.
He also found that the people here weren't too friendly.
Bob tried approaching a farmer.
"Hello, My name is Bob and-"
"Wha da ya want?!"
"Erm, As I mentioned earlier, My name is Bob, and-"
"I heard ya de first time!"
"Okay, so I'm new to the village, and-"
"Don't even think about tryna steal my crops!"
"Forget it."
Bob left the village in search of a new one, that, hopefully, had friendlier inhabitants.
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