《Bob's Ascension to Godhood》002: What's that?
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After walking for a few hours, Bob decided that it may have been time to try to make a campfire.
He asked himself a series of questions, namely how, why, when, where, who, what and why.
The first question was, how should he make the campfire?
He attempted to make use of sticks and rocks for a while, but failed because they were drenched in the same rain as he was earlier. It didn't matter much anyway, because he didn't even know how to make a campfire that way. He then realized that he still had a lighter in his, fortunately waterproof, miscellanious pack of supplies.
Next, he had to ask himself, why would he make the campfire?
Because he got drenched by rain earlier and would die of Hyperthermia if he didn't.
When would he make the campfire?
Preferably as soon as possible.
Now, who would he make the campfire with?
Himself.
Where would he make the campfire?
Right here.
And finally, what would he make the campfire with?
Hmm, that's a good question.
He took out some of the less interesting books in his backpack.
* * *
Not long after he managed to light the books on fire, some inhabitants from the village that he built the campfire in front of came out.
"Why are you lighting a fire here?"
"Because I'm cold."
"But why don't you just come into the village?"
"Because I didn't notice it."
"Wait."
"What?"
"Let me get this straight."
"?"
"You light a campfire right in front of our village, while facing our direction, and you didn't notice it?"
"I was busy asking myself the 6 W's, from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."
"What?"
"A book from far, far away."
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"Okaaay... So then what are the 6 W's?"
"How, When, Where, Who, What, and Why."
"As in, How do we eat lunch, Why do we eat lunch, When do we eat lunch, What do we eat for lunch, Who do we eat with, and finally, Where do we eat lunch?"
"But How starts with an H."
"Yeah, I was wondering about that one myself, and so that's why I didn't notice the village here."
"Ah."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
"Um...So..."
"I'm David. Who are you?"
"I'm hungry. Mind getting me something to eat?"
* * *
David led him into the village, which was much friendlier than the last one.
David bought Bob dinner, which Bob tried, but failed, to refuse, courtesy of his grumbling stomach.
"Would you mind giving me some of the books in your pack, with me buying you dinner and all?"
"Sure."
"Thanks, bro, You have no idea how much I could sell those for. Books from outside are really hard to get, that with the village being in a relatively remote area and all that."
"You should've asked earlier, I burned some of the uninteresting ones in the campfire."
". . ."
"I'm suprised that the people here actually speak english, though."
Bob continued to converse with David, while the latter was grinning inwardly while thinking about the fortune he could make from selling the former's books. As David mentioned earlier, books from outside, or even books in general, due to the lack of paper, really were rare, and the villagers were definitely more than willing to buy some. The rest of the people in the restraunt watched with envy.
* * *
The next day, After David had already sold half the books in Bob's posession, Bob had to ward off a mob of brown-nosers. He used to do some brown-nosing himself, and now he finally realised why the people on Earth found it so annoying.
David had officially became business partners with Bob, who found that he liked his new life. Everywhere he went, his fan club (The brown-nosers who still hadn't figured out that brown-nosing wouldn't get them to where David was) followed. Being brown-nosers, they naturally brown-nosed and paid for all his meals. Bob liked his new life.
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