《Bob's Ascension to Godhood》028: Punch in the face
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Soanso frowned as he read another name.
"Boob Simpleton and Ector Inowutimdoing!"
Bob sighed.
"Sir, I think that may be me."
Soanso frowned as he looked at the list.
"Yes, that probably is you, since this is the last match of round one."
Bob groaned.
Of course his was last.
[ For being paired with the strongest mage in your class, you have earned 1302 minor karma points! ]
...Sh*tnizzle.
"...How do I get up on the stage?"
Soanso sighed.
"You must have some means to get up on the stage, right?"
"...No, I do not."
Soanso sighed again.
"Arthur, please get your useless garbage apprentice on the stage."
Arthur's face flushed red and Bob looked away.
Arthur raised a hand and Bob splatted face first on the stage.
The crowd laughed.
Bob sighed as he got up.
Of course he embarrassed his master on his first day.
Soanso facepalmed and sighed.
"Battle start in..."
"Three..."
Ector raised his hands, probably to cast some sort of large spell.
"Two..."
Bob raised his hands and managed to stop himself from tripping over his own feet.
"One..."
A spark of purple appeared on Ector's hand.
"Fight!"
Ector started drawing a purple diagram in front of him while Bob watched, dumbfounded.
"I call upon the angry seas,
The raging storms,
The creature that sees.
I call upon the..."
Bob quickly mentally facepalmed as he realized that he was just watching and doing nothing as the mage in front of him was probably chanting an insta-death spell.
"Terrifyicreetur, come and..."
Bob sprinted forward and punched Ector in the face.
Ector got a broken nose and the backlash of the spell as he flew off the stage and landed in a mangled heap on the ground.
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The crowd gasped.
"That was..."
Bob sighed. He was supposed to use magic, wasn't he?
"He used the Ultra Turbo Super Mega Divine God's Fist Nose Shattering Face Exploding Pow Pow Pow Face Punch, the famed secret technique of the Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Blammy Punch Fist sect!"
The what now?
"He actually managed to use the Ultra Turbo Super Mega Divine God's Fist Nose Shattering Face Exploding Pow Pow Pow Face Punch, the famed secret technique of the Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Blammy Punch Fist sect!"
Huh?
"How the cluck did he manage to get the Ultra Turbo Super Mega Divine God's Fist Nose Shattering Face Exploding Pow Pow Pow Face Punch, the famed secret technique of the Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Blammy Punch Fist sect, from the Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Blammy Punch Fist sect?!!"
Ultra Turbo Super Mega Divine God's Fist Nose Shattering Face Exploding Pow Pow Pow Face Punch... Secret technique... Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Blammy what now?
"As expected of my new apprentice, he can already use the Ultra Turbo Super Mega Divine God's Fist Nose Shattering Face Exploding Pow Pow Pow Face Punch, the famed secret technique of the Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Blammy Punch Fist sect! Soanso, I told you he was talented!"
The...What...
"Yes, fine, Arthur, I believe you now, but how did he manage to get the Ultra Turbo Super Mega Divine God's Fist Nose Shattering Face Exploding Pow Pow Pow Face Punch, the famed secret technique of the Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Blammy Punch Fist sect, from the Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Pow Blammy Punch Fist sect?!"
The... What the heck...This... What?
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