《Bob's Ascension to Godhood》033: The little manling
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The majestic fire dragon, Smokewrym Manslayer II, great calamity of the age, namesake of the DragonSmoke Borders, lord of the Dragonfyre volcano, yawned as he watched the little manling run around, screaming as he dodged fireballs.
He told the little manling that he would let him live as long as he gave him enough shinies, and he didn't go back on his word. However, that didn't mean that he would care enough to keep the other monsters within his domain from killing the manling. After all, if the little manling couldn't get past those weaklings, he wouldn't stand a chance at doubling the size of his hoard, right?
The majestic fire dragon, Smokewrym Manslayer II, great calamity of the age, namesake of the DragonSmoke Borders, lord of the Dragonfyre volcano, watched the little manling with genuine interest this time..
The little manling had dodged all the fireballs... so far. That was because the fireballs that he dodged were from the blind firetoads. He wondered how the little manling would get away from those little...What were they called again?
Right. Charlies.
Wait, no... How could he forget what his own minions were?
Right. They were kobolds.
Those little guys were pretty cute, that is, until they razed their enemies to the ground. At that point, they were adorable. Anyone who didn't think so had to be some kind of zmey or something.
Unfortunately, the little guys weren't very bright.
All they ever said was "Charlie, charlie, charlie"...
They were almost as stupid as the poor little manling, who seemed to be yelling at himself.
Ah. The manling made it to the Charlies. The majestic fire dragon, Smokewrym Manslayer II, great calamity of the age, namesake of the DragonSmoke Borders, lord of the Dragonfyre volcano, wondered how the manling would get past them.
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[ Master, these are [ Blind firetoads ]! They are some of the weakest creatures on [ DragonSmoke Borders ], and also some of the stupidest and most disabled! According to the [ Book of fire monsters ], if you can't defeat [ Blind firetoads ], you don't stand a chance at anything else! ]
"THEN WHY DO YOU SOUND SO F*CKING HAPPY?!"
[ That, master, is classified! ]
"OF COURSE IT IS! EVERYTHING IS CLASSIFIED!"
[ Not everything is classified! I am capable of pulling up depressing information, information that would have been useful before you got into a stupid situation, and other fun facts! The only downside is that I am not able to pull up any useful information or information that you are interested in! ]
Bob stared blankly at the screen hovering in front of him.
What?
[ I also suggest that you hurry, as kobolds, S ranked monsters, are gathering up near you! ]
Ha! Finally! S ranked monsters!
[ However, kobolds gather up in swarms, which usually range from D rank to B rank! When kobolds are serving a dragon, however, the kobold swarms are almost always B or A rank! This swarm serves the majestic fire dragon, Smokewrym Manslayer II, great calamity of the age, namesake of the DragonSmoke Borders, lord of the Dragonfyre volcano, and is A rank! ]
What...
Oh, sh*t.
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