《tales from the multiverse》transcript of "wiggly headed man" ep 427
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'[setting: public park with a central pond, ill kempt from faulty landscaping, and lack of local interest. grass is brown, bushes are wild, and duck poop everywhere, slow pan on bush]
whm:(emerging from bush; to audiance) hello watchers, you caught me in quite the...compromising position.(duck blood spurts out of the bush) see, I was making foie gras with this fowel fowel I found. (holds hand to chin) speaking of fatty livers, I remember the time, I dealt with a little piggie, not 1 week ago.
[wavy flashback effect to scene of asphalt and concrete center of town, with all the sidewalks ,and congealed traffic, forcing everyone to use them, an egg fallsa from a pidgions trash nest, breaking on the sidewalk, showing it is an extremely hot day as it quickly fries before a hobo snatches it, seconds before a group of teenagers walk by.]
henry: oh sweet jesus, it's hot.
jammie[a girl]: don't be such a whiny bitch, here, there's a dairy mistress right up ahead.
unimportant 3rd character: oh, yummy, i'd could really go for a strawberry whiteout from there.
jammie: well, we'd have to pool our money, because I only have enough for 3 cups of hard icecream.
(they come up on the dairy mistress, a pimply man is taking their order, his bad skin is because he had to take multble jobs to pay to live, he just came back from his shift at the fatty clown, where he had to clean the deep-fryers. he constantly regrets his culinary arts major)
poor food slave#44217: hello, what can I get you?
henry(whispering to his friends) check this.(to the man) yes, we would like 3 scoops of cherry sherbert.
(the poor man sighs as, because that is a flavor that no-one wants, he has to get it from the storage in the back)
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(when the poor sod leaves to get it, because he is the only one working today. he leaves the back door open while he rummages in the outdoor freezer where that store all the extra icecream, and meatproducts no-one buys)
henry: check it(runs around the building to get in the open door) all the icecream we want!
jammie: dude, no, that's not okay.
unimportant 3rd character: yeah, he'll probably get fired or his pay cut if we do this, maybe we can just eat the sherbert, maybe if we ask nicely, we could get watermelon instead.
henry: ppfft, pussies!(he russes in and locks it from the inside) all for me then!(he proceeds to chug the softserve machine, drop scoops of all kinds into his gapping maw, and monge on all the fudge and nuts)
(his friends rush to the poor man to tell him what happened, but them man seemed different from when they saw him last, he was smiling, not a little, not a lot, but just smiling, like it was painted on a mask of the mans face)
worker?: oh, my how quite upsetting, I'll have to get him to stop(closes the door,a inner handle for getting out if your inside shown, the shot from inside showing a limp hand on the floor, a large currency denomination placed in it, enough for someone to say, start renting a building for a business)
(the thing that looks like the worker tries to open the back door with a key, but a chair is barricading the door shut)
worker:...no problem.(dashes to the front, the 2 teens left with free popsicles)
henry: well, well, well, look whos employee of the year here, what, you gonna try to get me to stop?(chomps another scoop)
worker?:...no.(opens the front slide, just big enough to slide food through, before snaking through it to get inside) go ahead, eat as much as you want.
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henry freaked out: what, what the hell?! what are you?
worker?: oh, no one, just someone who works here(side of head melts a little)
(the teen backs up, showing a look of viceral terror while his face if choclety, and his pants are wet)
whm: well, whats wrong(appendages streach out) you don't want your icecream anymore? well that's silly(scrapes icecream from a freezer and shoves it in the kids mouth) come on, you wanted this, didn't you?
henry: rgerhaher
whm: don't be shy, EAT UP,(another giant scoop of ice cream) EAT YOUR FILL OF OTHERS MISSFORTUNE(another)
(this continues until henrys torso looks distended and tears are rolling down his cheeks)
whm: you know, they say "you are whaT YOU EAT"
(cuts to henry is turned into a scoop of icecream in a wafflecone, being held by the wobbly headed man, terror on his face as imn close up, a long tongue licks him face off)
(cut to an hour later, with the two are finished with their icepops, and are waiting for henry to cone out.)
jammie:...well this still sucks, how much of a earful is henry getting?
(just then henry is escorted out to meet his friend, by the man that looks like the worker again)
whm: now, you won't be stealing again, will you?
henry: n-No sir!(stiffly runs to his friends)
whm: do you still want some(pulls another icepop from behind his back)ICECREAM?
henry, wincing at the sight of it: no sir, I think i'ver had my fill.
whm:...good.
(un flashbacks to the park)
whm with blood on his mouth: well, that's the story for today, now, move along, so I may finish my meal In peace. goodbye(waves to audience while camera pans out)
whm: I'll see you David, you won't see me, out your window.
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