Such a nice day. I can't wait to further extend my secret base. But first I have to do my daily training.

"Mom, I am out to train."

"Be careful sweetheart."

My training includes 20 km of running,1000 sit ups, 1000 squats and 1000 push ups. Then I do shadow boxing for 10 minutes straight. After that I meditate for about an hour.

After my trainings routine has finished, I go to my secret base I build yesterday. I can't wait to go there. My mana crystal dispenser has probably produced enough mana crystals to further improve my base.

As I walk to my secret base I hear kids of young age bullying poop man.

"Poop man, poop man, poop man"

"You are disgusting"

The kids surrounded poop man kicking him as he lay on the ground covering his face. Jeez kids these days.

I go to the kids.

"What do you want?"

In front of me a crowd of annoying kids is building up. One of them stands in front of them, he must be their leader. Damn how come he has more underlings then me. Shame on me.

I don't say anything.

"Acting tough huh? You have something against us playing with our friend poop man?"

They could kill him for all I care. That's not the problem, seeing him having so many followers really makes me envious. They are still kids but soon they will grow older and can be useful sacrificing themselves for my unjust cause. I want them, so I have to show them who the boss is. Also having some action is healthy.

"I just wanted to show you a new game you can play with poop man"

"Oh, so what else can we play with him?"

"It is called piñata to play that you just need a rope and a stick."

"I have never heard of such game"

"You'll see it is so much fun."

He stood there considering, then he waved at his underling to come to him.

"Marc, get me a rope and a stick, I want to see what this game is about."

He nods and runs to the village.

"Great, I also have a surprise for you guys that will make things more interesting. But to do that I have to leave for short while, don't worry I'll be back before marc will arrive."

"Ok, come back quick I can't wait to play with poop man."

"Me neither hahahaha"

I distance myself from the kids collecting few materials like stones and sticks. Making sure no one watches me I make a vest with big pockets out of cardboard. I also make some candy or else it wouldn't be called piñata. The candies I plan to make, are of every color. I doubt they have ever seen such thing as candies are expensive in this world. I also add a little twist making it more interesting, I add some laxative.Hohoh I can't wait to their reaction.

I am back again marc is already there with the things we'll need for this big event.

"We have everything here you told us to bring. What is with this vest?"

"You'll see it will be a big surprise."

I go to the now standing poop man. He has brown hair like his poop and green eyes. He as fear in his eyes trembling like a pussy.

"Man up poop man this will be so much fun I'll grantee you."

I put the vest on him without much resistance. Binding his feets with the rope the kids started to heat things up waiting for what is about to happen.

Throwing the rope above a branch, I pull him up adjusting the height about kids level.

Seeing the hanging poop man the kids start to cheer. The hanging poop man makes some noise

"eh eh mhmhm."

"This is great what now?" says the leader of the kids.

"Now you have to take this stick and beat the vest. If you hit hard enough the pockets will open up and a big surprise will come out."

"Ok give me the stick I'll do it."

"Remember, don't hit his face as it would be troublesome if poop man's family will look for the ones who did this to him."

"I'll keep in mind."

'Master don't you think that's too brutal? He is just a kid.'

'Don't worry Aldea, no harm will be done.'

'If you say so'

The kid started beating poop man with the stick. Poop man struggled waving around, covering his face from the fear of being hit on the face.

"Hahahah this is so much fun."

"Didn't I tell you. Hit harder for the surprise to come out."

He hits poop man with much more vigor. Tears started to build up on this shit eating kid.

'Master isn't it enough let's stop'

'Wait the surprise needs to come out. Or poop mans suffering was for naught'

The cardboard pockets opened up from the hitting and around poop man it rains candies.

"CANDIES" screams a kid and every one is rushing to collect the candies as if it was money laying around.

"This is such a great surprise where did you get the candies."

"Hahahaha the great me has endless resources, go eat some or they won't be anything left."

Their leader agree and also begins to eat them.Seems like I have become more popular as some of the kids approach me thanking me.

I take poop man down and pat him on his head.

"You did great, look you made everyone happy"

Wiping his tears he looks at them, seeing the candies laying around he also wants to eat some. Noticing his intention I stop him grabbing his shoulder.

"No candies for you believe me you will regret it"

I wonder why I stopped him from eating the sabotaged candies. Am I getting soft? Me the great madman. Do I have sympathy with him because he is bullied, just like I was bullied in my former life. Questions over question pop up in my head indicating I became pussy.

Never, I just don't want him to eat his shit when the laxative kicks in. Talking about shit, the laxative should do their work by now.

"What is this my stomach, ughh"

"I have... to... go..Toilet."

"Hahahahahaha this is great."

"Why are you laughing? What did you put into the candies"

"Just a little twist, isn't it great."

"Damn you I get you for this for now I'll retreat. You'll see I tell my big brother."

Hahahah his big brother such cliche thing to say.

"I can't wait, you better go before you shit your self."

"DAMN YOUUU"

The kids were running back to the village holding their ass so nothing leaks out. Some couldn't contain their shit and a brown liquid dripped from their short pants.

'I see, you wanted to teach them a lesson for bullying this young kid. You are so great master'

Eh? Actually I just wanted to have some fun who would want to help poop man.

'You saw right through me Adela, this is so embarrassing.'

Actually you didn't but I won't tell. Hohoho

Only poop man is left on this shit stained field. He was crouching looking at the shit that leaked of some of the kids.

"Oh hell no poop man, don't, this is disgusting. Eating your own shit is one thing but from eating the one from another is a whole new level of disgusting."

Poop man stood up and tilted his head.

"Yo can you speak?"

"..."

I can't bear it anymore something has to be done. Come with me poop man. I grab his hands and drag him to my base.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

Back in my base I take poop man with me, something has to be done.

Poop man seeing my base became really excited sounds like "woo and ooohhh" were coming out his smelling mouth. Well at least he likes my secret base.

'Adela, can you cure his retardation?'

unfortunately I can't, I can only heal physical damage.'

'Hmm, well I did except that'

'Do you want to cure him?'

'Yes, I can't bear to look at this mess of a child anymore.'

'Such a kind man you are'

Is she mocking me? I just do it for selfish reasons. You see my plan is to make his retardation to be gone so he will be in dept to me.

Ok, time to start the operation.

I go to my mana crystal dispenser and look how much it has produced. I open the drawer where the crystals are stored. Great, I have about 18 crystals. They are as big as my hands and of blue color.

Now comes the important part how do I approach this? I have to make a pill that cures his retardation, making him sane again. I also have to make sure that his memories stay so he can be ashamed of himself and see me as his savior. I also make it so that it enchants his intelligence making him able to speak. I don't want a sane tomato as a minion.

I take about three crystals, this should be enough. Holding them in my hands I start to imagine the pill that will change this kids life. My red-black mana coats the crystals making them shine. I now hold the pill in my hands.

I go to poop man

"Here take this and swallow it."

Thinking that I give him some candy he takes it and swallows it.

Now I just have to wait until the pill starts to affect him.

Meanwhile I check my crystals, thinking what great things I can make out of it.

_ _ _ _

Ten minuets later.

"Arghhhh aaaah"

Poop man's medicine starts to take affect and he scream in agony.

"Don't be a pussy, you see everything will be better then before."

I say to him and put some earplugs in my ears.

After 20 minuets of agony poop man lost his consciousness.

"Yo you dead?" checking if he still breaths I put my ear above his mouth. The stench of shit hits me.

Ok every thing is fine.

Now I just have to wait.

_ _ _

Moaning could be hear, I think poop man is coming back to his senses.

He stands up disoriented.

"Wh-where am I?"

"Welcome to the real world poop man, you were stuck in the matrix"

"Matrix?"

He stands there thinking if he heard the word from some where.

"Never mind, do you remember anything?"

He puts his hand on his chins thinking. Then suddenly it hits him.

"Oh my goddess, what have I done"

"Do you remember?"

"Unfortunately yes, I remember everything until now"

The shame of his shit eating days shows on his face.

"I am so grateful, you are my savior you saved me from a life of hell. How can I ever repay you. Please tell me I'll do anything."

What did I tell you? I am such a genius I should write a book "Getting minions 101".

"Serve me for the rest of my life. Call me master that should be enough. Don't worry you won't be a slave and will have your freedom. I just want you to fight for my cause. But I'll warn you I am no saint."

"Oh great master I'll swear to be a loyal servant, fighting for your cause. This is the least thing I can do. Don't worry society has shunned me and bullied me, I have no problem doing immortal things. I am truly yours, your possession, your shield and sword."

"That's the spirit. From now on no one will call you poop man, I'll make sure. Say my loyal servant what is you name."

"My name is Thomas Anderson,master."

Thomas Anderson, hahahah great.

"Hmm that's a weak name from now your name will be Neo."

"Such a great name what does it mean."

"Neo means the one"

"Such a great meaning I am unworthy"

"Don't think like that, my vassals should be proud and should never yield to anyone, not even to the king."

"Now go home I think your family will be surprised"

"Thank you master, thank you so much"

He bows in front of me and leaves.

Now that was great.