《I am the Doomsday Weapon》RANT
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NERVOUS BREAKDOWN BECAUSE OF TOO MANY DUMB COMMENTS. BONUS CONTENT:
NEW STORY:
I woke up as a nanite weapon. Being the literate Royal road reader, I knew already what to do. The MCs are so dumb and idiotic, acting like clueless idiots, but I am better than them. The first thing i did was to farm as much mass as possible, to become as big as the fucking planet itself. I bore into the core of the planet, and in a matter of days i WAS the planet. then i ate the universe, became a magic god, conquered the whole mutliverse, and created a simulation in which I was a dumb and clueless MC because I was so bored I was about to kill myself.
being a motivation driven character sucks ass and emotion makes me look vulnerable. also, being a dickhead is always the best choice. faced with the possibility to eat stuff, i decided to eat the whole fucking cave and digest the rock even if it was slow as fuck, I only needed to slow my own perception of time.
and now that i was already out of character by chapter three, i kept eating and growing, and created a replicant army of 20000 soldiers made of nanites who could wield guns and RPGs. then I conquered the world and sat on the throne made of the bones of my fallen enemies.
i looked like a sucker in this flashback. damn, was i brain dead or am i too awake now? well in any case, i will now use my full spectroscopic vision to find the rat and brutalize it like the sucker that it is. hesitating with killing such a repugnant creature made me feel like a little girl, but IM A MAN WHO DOES MANLY THINGS IN THE MANLIEST WAY POSSIBLE so there is no way i back away from the fight. after disintegrating the rat in a shower of blood and gore, i was sent in a flashback scene. it must have been scripted.
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obviously it either was a setup, or not, but the important thing here is being a cool MC and going on the path of vengeance straight away. deciding to do just that, I built a helicopter with the nanites and marched for the capital, where I laid waste to everything and everyone in a matter of minutes. i got so many kills that god came to me and offered me the nuclear perrk, which I used and the whole world was vaporized.
I cracked the secrets of FTL communication and made ten trillion copies of myself, and infiltrated the kingdom and the world. now, 9000 years later, all biological life is extinct and all the people around are actually a part of myself that I use to simulate a normal world
I looked out of the city walls, and already knew what was about to happen. It was an ambush, and the man was actually going to kill me because he knew i was made of nanites. how he knew? dont know. how I knew that he knew? because I am the MC, and after reading so many novels on RR, I know everything. and the ambush? because RR, of course, and because I am a military genius who will go out of character in order to look cooler. was I a dumb and clueless iditiot until now? WELL NO MORE because I need to look cool now.
I strolled out with the confidence of a 12 year old who just finished dragonball and became a level 49999 sayan, and immediately vaporized the whole enemy ambush with a gamma ray burst from my eyes. What? I should have no knowledge of gamma rays? I looked like superman?
FUck.
I went back in time with my MacGuffin plot armor machine, and redid the fight so that it would not end too quickly. after fifteen paragraphs of pregnant fight scenes, captivating, cool, and definitely shonen, I won. I went back to the inn, bloodied and dirty, and had sex with Tommy who was actually a loli beast girl who was deifinitely 18. then, god plucked out of my bed and told me I was the best MC ever, and brought me to the land of clouds and happiness, but it was boring so I killed god
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ps: IT'S UNbelievable to think that my TROLL story: Event Horizon has basically the same rating as this one. i wrote that one without even thinking, as with this one here I spent HOURS coming up with a decent plot. Y'all just want power fantasy. just that. okay, noted.
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