In the beginning there was darkness. After that there was even more darkness and then there were tentacles. Above all the tentacles one might see some more tentacles and other unmentionables. Even higher than all that one solitary, sad Eye stood surveying the remaining darkness. Suddenly in that silent, lonesome place where light never reached, a cheerful screen appeared.

*DING!*

”Oh dear, oh dear… did I get another one?”

The darkness rustled and move and prod at itself with countless slimy tentacles but the feeling of emptiness permeate her whole being ever since that soul left her.

*D_D_D_D_D_I_i_i_i_n_n_n_n_n_g*

The little screen tilted slightly towards the enormous Eye. Its contents went out of focus for quite a while when it met the Eye’s gaze but the brave screen managed to stop shaking just for a slight moment.

”Is t-that, i-is t-that… really for me?”

*d-d-doh-doh-doing.*

The Eye scanned the text but it was too blurry to read.

”I hope you won’t mind if I…”

Several tentacles grabbed the screen and held it forcefully, minimizing the vibrations.

*d-d-d-D_d-_D-+d-+_d*

Notice: You have acquired 1 new follower. Total number of followers: 1 of 3 available. To make room for more followers consider acquiring a shrine devoted towards you. Current accumulated faith: 0 gobs You are entitled to 1 minor ordinary blessing a month.

”…oh. Oh. Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

”You have no idea how happy I am! Come here, let me hug you…”

Silent dings and broken doings of agony reverberated throughout the word while each and every screen on the planet ceased working.

”Oh dear, oh dear…”

A black tentacle poke the twitching screen. It felt very, very sorry.

***

Somewhere in the windy peeks abbot Hammalalla paled and took of his kufi. The memory of a day when the blue screens froze stayed fresh in his heart even after all those years. The one who should not be mentioned came to power that day. What new calamity has befallen them now?

”WELL, I THINK THAT WILL NOT MATTER TO YOU ANYMORE.”

”Oh.”

The abbot’s face relaxed.

”How kind of you. Care for some tea before we go? Freshly brewed, it would be a waste.”

DEATH contemplated it for a while, the scent was indeed tempting and the monks would most likely spill the heavenly liquid over the ashes of their late master. A touching gesture but also a waste of a good tea.

”VERY WELL. LET US HAVE A CUP.”

***

On a small forgotten island somewhere far, far away in the sea, the rattling of a breaking chain and blinking red screens scared off all the birds.

***

#!!!SPROING!!!#

Notice: Critical error detected. Please stand by while rebooting…

Joe moaned. Coming back to life was not a pleasant task to behold. His whole body was numb. His dong itched and his head hurt as if somebody used it to crack walnuts with his forehead. Also there was the issue of the woman lying motionless atop him. Her drool dripped down her tongue and gathered in a small puddle on his chest where her fur sucked it in .

Fur? Now that he thought about it, she seemed more of an animal than a woman. Probably something in between. A beast race? Why not. They were popular amongst the gamers back on earth and every game he played had at least one kind of furry boobs with fluffy tails. Aside for being an occasional eye candy and most often than not a bait to lure all kinds of perverts to spend their money on a given game, beast race was often useful in many situations. Would she prove to be of any use?

Pushing her body aside, Joe sat up. Time will tell, now he had to…

*DING*

Reboot completed.

Still slightly blurry, the screens reappeared. To no surprise, his screen was of deep black while the unconscious woman had a blue one.

He shook her arm, pinched her nose, poke her ribs, slapped her face but nothing worked. His new property was out cold. It would be nice to know if this newest acquisition was anything good.

*DING*

Notice: You can access status information of every person by accessing their status screen. The resulting information may vary depending on your level and privacy setting of the observed individual. To display the status info, focus on someone and say STATUS or STATUS “NAME OF INDIVIDUAL” To ascertain the properties of any given object use the ANALYSE skill while holding or touching the object you wish to analyze. The received information will depend on your analysis skill level. If you wish to find out more about a certain skill, title, or effect properties use DESCRIBE “NAME OF THE PROPERTY TO DESCRIBE”

Was it really that easy?

”Status Stupid Useless Bitch”

*DING*

Name: Stupid Useless Bitch Gender: Female Level: 57 Age: 21 Race: Demi Class: None HP 675 / 1017 MP 62 / 62 P.att 40 M.att 23 P.def 280 M.def 151 STR 232 INT 25 CON 207 VIT 9 DEX 101 MEN 15 Racial Traits: Base HP +21%, Base P.Def +11% Status: Permanent property of Joe Unconscious: Awaiting profile customization. Body under restrains: Set by previous owner, Must ask for permission to complete ordinary tasks and bodily functions Mind under restrains: Set by previous owner, -200 INT modifier applied In pain: Slave collar tightened too much, Uncomfortable armor, Small nail stuck in left foot, Very hungry Embarrassed: Uncomfortable armor, Forced to lisp, Was not allowed to pee on time and had an accident, Cursed Has trouble breathing: Slave collar tightened too much Malnourished : On average had 1 meal every 3 days Thirsty: From massive blood loss. Starving: -15 HP/h Curse of Aidane: Set by previous owner, This slave must frolic at least once a day, calling Master’s name with utmost pleasure. Disobedience will cause severe pain.

Joe blinked and re-read the last line. No, he read it right. It really was there. Now he really started to hate that…

”Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes, large field of potatoes…”

He tried to calm himself. Better not to irk the one he should not name. She already put him in quite a dump.

*DING*

Notice: As the new owner of Stupid Useless Bitch you can customize her profile and behavior. Would you like to reset to defaults before entering the editor? Yes No

That was an easy choice.

*DING*

Notice: Reset in progress. Time remaining 24:00:00

A day? Just what on earth will that do to her? Joe shook his head. Everything was probably better than her current situation. Speaking of which…

Getting rid of the collar took him a while. Thankfully the trusty sharp and serrated piece of pottery cut through the leather strap with greater ease now that he could hold it properly. The woman gasped and heaved for a while before her breathing settled into a kind of natural pace.

Next came the time for dealing with her armor. Calling it such felt like a severe misunderstanding. Several dozen leather straps tightly buckled over her body, provided little if no protection. Some straps bit into her body in precarious manner. Like the one running between her legs… Anger filled him. Joe was no saint in his previous life. He often treated women as objects to be used, as his fuck toys but he never abused one to such degree. When a toy started to show some sort of affection towards him, he put her back in her place one way or another but he always took care of his toys. However silly it was, their wellbeing always took priority. Healthy and happy toy was a good toy.

This one? He could feel her ribs under her skin as he rubbed his hand through her fur. Cursing, Joe removed the last piece of her so called armor and went looking for the nail stuck in her foot. Pulling it out made her loose ten health points and caused a minor bleeding effect but in overall, her stats improved.

”Now look at that…”

There was a pouch of thick golden coins inside the sack she was carrying, alongside a leather bladder filled with water. That should prove useful.

”Thank you mister shitty knight! I’ll make sure to remember that!”

He hid the pouch back into the sack and made the slave sip some water. She was still unconscious but her body did the job.

”Now, how do I get to a city?”

*DING*

Notice: If you go straight along the path to your left, in an hour you will reach a city.

But that was also the direction in which the knight went…

”Wait, let me rephrase that. How do I get to a city where people won’t try to kill me on sight?”

*DING*

Notice: In that case you should turn around and walk straight until you find a river then head downstream.

Without a better idea Joe, used the leather straps, the remains of the armor to secure his slave to his back in the most comfortable manner he could find for them both.

”Just like a backpack… drooling backpack.”

Slightly disgusted, he pushed the lolling tongue back into her mouth. That did not do much. Several steps later it was out again, dangling next to his neck. With a sigh, he tighten the straps and moved on.

Below his knees, his legs were entirely black. Even if they would hurt, there was nothing he could do about it so he ignored it.

From time to time as he walked, unbeknownst to him, a single eye would appear on one of his calves, taking a peek of the surroundings before disappearing back into the black skin.