„Is this the starving village?”

Joe asked yet instead of answering, the dust covered woman collapsed among the rubble.

“Why do they always do that… Never mind. Oy, patchwork!”

He slapped the butt resting inches off his face.

“If you’re still alive then get the hell off me.”

“…”

The owner of the said rump groaned and muttered something incoherent then rolled off.

“YOU AGAIN? WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED. WHAT MESS DID YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THIS TIME?”

“Nothing much. I got a mission from god.”

Joe scrambled to his knees and begun patting off the dust from his body.

“Now I just need black shades and a fedora. Although, I don’t think I can get an old dodge around these parts.”.

He checked on the health bars of the ones surrounding him. Nothing to be worried about.

“Why are you here?”

“WORK. I HAVE A LONG-STANDING RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS VILLAGE.”

She looked at the unconscious priestess.

“YOU MAY SAY MY PRESENCE IS OFTEN REQUIRED IN HERE.”

“That I can imagine.”

Just to be on the safe side, Joe uncorked a health potion and shoved it into the woman’s mouth.

“THAT'S CHEATING.”

“No, that's self preservation. I'll be toast if you'll take even one of them. No offense intended.”

“NONE TAKEN. EVENTUALLY THEY ALL SHALL SEEK ME, AND I AM PATIENT. EVERYBODY DIES.”

She smiled, showing him the kind of smile a mortal would never like to see.

“Aha. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a village in need of saving.”

Joe picked up the priestess. For a demi, her body weighted next to nothing. The leather armor he wore hung heavier on his shoulders than the woman in his arms. Later, he’ll deal with that later.

“Get up.”

He planted a kick on the knight’s side.

“You know I can see your status, right? You can fake unconsciousness later, now, grab the freeloader and get up. We need to clear this building.”

“Hai, hai…”

Savile scrambled to her feet.

“…shitty master.”

“I’ve heard that.”

“Well, poop. You can punish me later.”

“If you insist. No more grooming for you.”

“H-hey! You can’t do that!”

Joe ignored her. Climbing over the rubble, he paused and looked back at Death. Standing with her scythe slung over her shoulder, she appeared to be studying her nails.

“WELL? CHOP, CHOP. GO ON.“

“You’re not gonna slice me with that thing, are you?”

“NO. AS UNFORTUNATE AS IT IS, YOU GOT YOURSELF INVOLVED IN A STORY QUEST. I AM OBLIGED TO GIVE YOU AN HOUR HEAD START.“

She moved closer. A possibility of one of them slipping on the unsteady rubble seemed tempting. Although it would warrant an awful lot of paperwork.

“HOW LONG DO YOU INTEND TO IMPOUND ON MY WORK IN THIS VILLAGE?”

“As long as it takes. Or until I weasel out of this quest.”

“DO YOUR WORST THEN. I WILL SEE YOU IN AN HOUR.”

With that she vanished.

“Oy, shi… boss! Where do you want me to take her?”

“How the hell should I know? We crash landed on an altar in god knows where. Just carry her till we find a place to dump her.”

*DING*

Memory level critical. Data corruption in 00:29:59 minutes.

Wonderful, exactly what he needed. Dismissing the popup, Joe walked through the entrance, out into the sunlight.

The exit brought them onto a small, paved town square with a fountain resembling an overjoyed demi and a companion, doing inappropriate actions upon her body. Trying hard to focus on something else, Joe studied the crowd gathered around them.

Demi. A whole plaza filled with them. Wherever he looked, starved stares of sunken eyes met him. Some had ears plastered against their heads, some leaned against others for support, some even held spears in their hands.

“…”

The priestess stirred in his arms. If the other villagers were starved, she could impersonate Famine.

“TRULY, THE RESEMBLANCE IS STRIKING. ALTHOUGH FAMINE NEVER TOLD ME HE HAD A SISTER.”

“What about my hour?”

Joe whispered through his clenched teeth.

“THIS WOMAN DOES NOT HAVE AN HOUR.”

She raised her scythe, then let it fall towards the unconscious demi.

“No!”

Joe grabbed the scythe shaft before the blade could cut through the priestess neck.

“YOU DARE, MORTAL?”

*DING*

Plot Shield is in effect. By the will of gods this champion has been granted an hour of divine protection. You can not affect him. Bug off.

“WE SHALL SEE ABOUT THAT.”

She turned on her heels and walked away. If Joe could see her face, he might have notice a satisfied smirk upon her lips.

A terrified whisper rolled over the gathered crowd, some people were pointing at something that clearly was not there.

Savile shuddered. Bells and whistles were going off in her head, signifying her master did something very stupid. Just what? All she saw was a moron screaming and flaying his hands in the air yet for a moment her slave seal went into override, spewing alerts of mortal peril.

Some of the villagers had an odd idea to drop on their knees and prostrate before the strangers. Others followed their example after a brief moment of hesitation. Perhaps the fact the temple collapsed had some influence over their actions.

“Who are you?”

The priestess he held in his arms suddenly asked him. Her blue eyes were wide open and demanding an answer. Joe carefully put her down and let her steady herself against his arm.

“No one.”

He spoke out of habit.

“Just a delivery boy.”

Yeah, let’s go with that.

“Listen up because I will not repeat myself.”

A sea of terrified ears stood up and pointed at him.

“I have a package for starving village. Rules are simple. Skins, furs, shells, horns, teeth, hooves, and claws are mine and you will return them in a pristine condition. The rest you can eat.”

“Understood? Good.”

Joe flipped through his item box, sorting through things that could be safely eaten. They had hundreds of unskinned monsters from their last hunt. He topped that off with some herbs and veggies.

“That should do it… Unpack!”

In a flash of bright light, the plaza filled with ten feet high piles of freshly slain prey, vegetables, and herbs.

*DING*

Memory Level Critical! Due to sensory overload you have 00:00:59 seconds remaining.

“Just what I need. Patchwork!”

This time Savile ears stood up.

“I leave the rest to you. Make sure none of those folks die while I’m out and if they’ll need more food, just give them. Also hand out potions, we still have some left.”

“I leave the rest to your judgment now, hit me.”

“W-whut?”

“That’s an order, hit me.”

Her fist moved on her own, Sending her master through the wall of the nearest building.

With a broken jaw and half of his HP missing, Joe’s light went out.