《Shonen Hero System》Classroom
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'Our setting, yes... Do you know what setting is? Well, in a way, It is an environment to cultivate stories. A greenhouse with its own set of rules, boy. And these rules are needed for stories in different genres to sprout. Oh, what genres you may ask? For our little world, the genres with mostly shonen readership. You know: romcom, adventure, sci-fi, giant robots, and fantasy… Ever read something like that?'
'Maybe.'
'Good. And now you are the main character of such a story. I mean, of all the stories that we will have in this magazine. So, let me tell you some details about your task. First, you will have to throw a dice…
That way you will choose the genre. Once it has been chosen, you will have to act accordingly. Like the main character of a story of that genre. If it will be a detective, you will have to do some crime-solving. Adventure? Buy a ticket and get on the plane: ancient ruins are waiting for you. The setting, the world around you has everything you will ever need for any kind of story. You will just have to dig into it. Gods, fantastic creatures, giant monsters, everything is to be found here. Your task is to simply: act.
Again, solve crimes, if you are a detective. Or get into brawls, were it to be a story about fighting. Peek at girls in changing room. He-he! That one you will have to do regardless of what kind of story it is. Ecchi! Fanservice!
'I see…'
'You better do. From now on, you are an actor. If you will do everything the way a good main character should, you will earn points. You will be able to use them to buy stuff in The Shop… Oh, about the shop… Guess I'll tell you later. Still too early for you.
But you won't only ever need points to buy stuff. You are required by the magazine to reach a particular score every month. If you won't be able to achieve the settled goal in the provided time limit, the story will be AXED. If more than two stories meet that sorry fate, the magazine will also be canceled...'
'And then I will be able to go home?' I asked in a sarcastic voice.
'Yeah, sure,'
'Rea…'
'In a coffin, maybe. If the magazine really will be canceled, we are f8cked.'
'…'
'Sorry. Can't say swear words. The magazine is for kids, after all. See what happens when I try: B*tch, F8ck, ass*ole, ****** - can you guess what that one is? He-he.
Well, did you get it?
'Yeah, I did.'
To be honest, most of that stuff sounded like some madman's ravings. I did, however, understand, how was it supposed to work. Mostly. I still had some questions remaining, but I felt that asking them will be a waste of time. You know, it's like in games, when you feel confused as hell while reading the tutorial, but once the game actually starts and you try clicking here and there, you get the gist of it pretty fast.
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'Good…' the clown smiled.
'Then we better hurry. Today is your first day in a new school. What a way to start a story! It's time to decide upon our first genre!'
The clown stomped and then suddenly a great wheel appeared on the page he was standing on…
That wheel was divided into sections. On each such section, there was a name of a genre stated: sport, comedy, detective, mystical story, horror… Wait. What the hell is horror doing here?
'Why horror?'
The clown, Yuji, smiled and clicked his fingers in a rubber glove.
'What? Are you, by chance, afraaaaid?'
I answered in a dry voice:
'You said the magazine was for children. I don't think horror is a kid's genre.'
'Well, you see, boy. Just like I have already told you, once upon a time there really had been such a magazine. It was canceled, however. And maybe for a good reason, he-he-he… Maybe our chief editor was a special person... If you know what I mean.'
Huh.
Well, I guess I do. I mean, all you need to know about that guy is that he thought that making a clown in a baseball suit a mascot of his magazine was a good idea.
I was trying to check, what other genres there were on the wheel, but right at that moment Yuji shouted:
'Okay. It's time!'
He smashed the red button at the foot of the wheel with his bat. Something clicked, and then the wheel started moving. A little arrow appeared just below it. After several seconds, Yuji once again pressed the button with his foot in a glossy oversized shoe. The wheel froze. Then, before I could even read what section the arrow was pointing to, it vanished.
In the place of the wheel, a big electric cloud appeared. Usually, they use that way of portraying text in manga to highlight its importance.
'School Romcom'
'Oh, lucky you,' said Yuji.
Romcom…
Is there a smell of flowers in the air?..
From what I can remember, that kind of anime has the following structure:
First, a boy meets a girl. Something happens between them, and they have to get into some sort of relationship. They are forced to interact with each other for some reason. Any reason. Prearranged marriage they parents agreed upon while being drunk many years before, a magical exchange of bodies… Or even something down to earth, like, for example, them having the same hobby and going to the same club.
Well, not so bad.
At least it isn't horror.
Even Yuji said:
'Congratulation', and even tried to smile. What a scary smile he has, by the way.
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'So,' I asked. 'What should I do now?'
'Act! Of course. You are in school right now, remember? In such an environment, the relevant story will appear no matter what you do. The magazine will notify you, were it to detect some potential for a story. Until then… Just go with the flow!'
Just go with the flow? Ha… I sighed and once again looked at the school's yard. No one was there anymore. I looked up the time on my phone. Already 07.17. The classes began at 7.30. Yeah, it's really time to go.
I picked up the magazine.
'You can close me. Explaining to you all that stuff was such a bother. Go now, and soon there will be some action,' said the clown and lay down on the page. His mouth vanished, and small letters "z" appeared just beside his face.
I put the magazine into my pocket and then walked toward the staircase. I descended into a white and spacy hallway.
School…
Now that brings back some memories. Not really pleasant ones, to be honest.
On the left side of me, there was a row of windows. Glimpses of the blue sky. On the right: the row of doors, each marked with a tag: A23, A22… I walked toward the one that was written down in my note and then froze.
I didn't enter the classroom immediately. First, I tried to get some intel by looking through the glass inserted into the door. There, I saw desks and people. Suddenly, one of them also noticed me, and, feeling urgent, I immediately walked it.
Children looked at me for a second, and then returned to doing their own stuff. Strange. I thought there will be a bigger commotion.
Wait, now I remember.
In the local system of education, the high school was a separate entity from the middle school and so the classes were assembled anew. What's more, the academic year began in April, so today was the first day. No one yet knew each other. For them, I was just one more kid.
Just standing beside the front door was dangerous. I walked into the classroom, making it look like I was trying to find a free desk. And soon, I actually started to search for it.
I walked toward the one in the middle of the room, when suddenly...
'Hey! Here is the first opportunity for your acting!'
I froze.
'Ha! Don't worry, no one can hear me now. I am a 2D character, remember? I don't have a voice… So, let me give you some advice. See that place, on the back row by the window? Take it.'
…Okay. I walked to the desk the clown was talking about.
Sat down.
'A real shonen hero always sits right there. On the back beside the window. Got it?
+1 Point!'
I was silent.
I looked at my desk. It was brand new. Nothing inside the drawer, either… Suddenly, some sort of anxiety washed me inside. I forgot my textbooks… The fear didn't last long, however, very soon turning into annoyance.
I really hated school back then.
It was silent in the classroom. Quite a rare sight. Usually, something like that is possible only at the beginning of the year.
From the window, I could see a sports ground at the border of a green mountain forest. There was a little road leading inside of it. I was trying to follow it with my eyes to the source when suddenly the door opened, and a balding elderly man walked into the classroom.
'Good morning, dear pupils,' said the man in a relaxed voice.
'Your teacher, Nozomi-sensei, sadly can't be with you today because of some personal issues, so today you will have to bear with me, young sirs…'
Children were listening to him silently. No one yet knew who was that Nozome-sensei, so no one was bothered by her absence…
Besides me, of course.
...Isn't that strange for a teacher to skip on his first day? What if it's the first gist of the so-called story the clown was talking about?..
Meanwhile, the elderly teacher after his introduction started to conduct a lesson. He was calling children out, one by one. They were standing up and telling their names, where they had been studying before, their hobbies… All that stuff. The man was joking from time to time.
He was quite a positive teacher.
My classmates had Japanese, Chinese, and even English-sounding names. One girl told that her name was Alice Qin-Amano. My turn was also coming soon, I was already rehearsing in my head what I was about to say, when suddenly…
'Hey, hey! Attention!. A character with the potential to be a heroine of the story is getting closer!'
Told me Yuji. And the very next second the door into the classroom opened with a bang…
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