《Above All Shadows》20. Asgard
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'Heimdall! Reopen the Bifrost,' Thor shouted. 'I will have my vengeance.'
'Hold here, Thor.' Loki threw himself into Thor's path. He lacked the strength to physically stop his brother, but he hoped at least to slow him down. 'Take a look around you, will you?'
The anxiousness in Loki's words must have stirred some common sense in Thor. He jerked to a stop and took stock of the cracked walls and half-obliterated ceiling in Heimdall's Observatory.
'Sweet mercy,' Thor muttered.
Loki took a step towards his brother, forcing Thor to back away from the opening to the Bifrost. 'This is what Asgard looks like, the destruction in Jotunheim is a hundred times greater. They have paid dearly for the insult they have inflicted upon Asgardians and Laufey, who has stirred up trouble between the two realms, is dead. Please, brother, let your hammer rest for now.'
'The sorceress still lives.'
'I know.' Loki sighed. 'In time we will find a way to back her back for what she did to you, but today isn't the day for that. Asgard is in disarray and you are the king. You have responsibilities here.'
Thor snarled in frustration, but he lowered his hand and let Mjolnir rest idly by his thigh. Behind him, Heimdall let out a noise which was a close to a relieved sigh as Loki had ever heard from the man. Loki mouthed a quick thank you to him, then called over the bewildered-looking Einherjari soldiers that were positioned by the entrance to the Observatory.
'Take a message to Lords Agnar and Tyr,' Loki said. 'King Thor has returned.'
None of the Einherjari soldiers were eager to be caught in whatever tumult would follow Thor's return. All four of them immediately saddled their horses and galloped down the length of the bridge. Thor's gaze followed their passage.
Loki carefully rested his hand on Thor's arm. 'Are you well?'
'I... don't feel quite myself. While she held me, my body didn't belong to me. I'm sure this will pass soon enough.' Thor forced a smile. ' That's a very good disguise, Loki. I almost didn't recognise you.'
Loki swore under his breath. After a week surrounded by frost giants, the hue of his own skin had faded into the back of his mind. Thor, on the other hand, had never seen him like this previously. Nor did he know anything about the sorry tale of Loki's adoption.
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That realisation chilled Loki to his core. The last time he hadn't been around when Thor had first learned Loki wasn't his brother by blood. True, he did offer Loki his acceptance when they encountered each other again, but Loki didn't know what his initial reaction had been. And, this time, Thor had been a prisoner of the frost giants for weeks. Loki could only guess at what torment they could have inflicted upon Thor.
'You must have spun a good story. The sorceress claimed you her cousin,' Thor added, oblivious to his brother's distress.
Loki cocked his head. 'You heard that?'
'I heard everything, from the moment they took me to the moment she released me.'
'I see. Well, to be clear, it was never my intent to kill you.'
Thor attempted to separate the worst of the tangles in his hair. 'I gathered as much.'
'Good.'
There was so much Loki needed to explain to his brother. Asgard lay just on the other side of the bridge; Thor needed to know the political situation in his realm before he returned to the palace. He also needed to know about Loki. And Loki didn't know where to start. He still felt the warmth of Laufey's blood on his skin and felt the rumble of mountains quaking under the Bifrost's incessant pulse. Were Hyndla and Thrym safe? What of Baugi and his family? Baugi probably was. He was supposed to be somewhere further out, on the front lines. And that was another issue in need of resolution - the Einherjar remain on Jotunheim.
Loki closed his eyes. There was one thing he could do. It was vain, but it would put him at ease.
A small flick of his hand.
His skin was pale and smooth once more, his clothes the familiar green leathers.
'Thor.' he said, as he forced himself to ignore the signs he was reaching the end of his reserves once more. 'We'd best talk while we walk.'
'If matters are truly urgent, I can use Mjolnir -'
'No. First, I must explain what's happened.' Thor shrugged and gestured for Loki to start talking, but Loki still hesitated. 'All be damned, I don't even know where to begin.'
'The beginning is usually a good place to start.'
Loki made a face. 'The beginning? Sure, let's get that out of the way then. I planned to sabotage your coronation.'
After that proclamation, Loki couldn't well stop talking until he explained himself fully. Worse yet, Thor set a good pace across the bridge. Loki's words spilled out in an uneven, agitated cadence. He explained about his aborted pact with the frost giants and their father's injury in Jotunheim; about his regency and his downfall; about his imprisonment and his escape; and finally, about his last days among the frost giants of Utgard.
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By the time he fell silent, they were past the city gates and Thor's face was twisted in concentration. Loki found consolation in the fact Thor hadn't yet swung Mjolnir in his direction.
'So the knife you would've slain me with was your half-brother's?' Thor said after a lengthy silence. 'The one I killed.'
'Out of everything I just told you, you're concerned about him?'
Thor's forehead furrowed. 'I never thought... I mean to say, I am sorry, Loki, I didn't understand what I did.'
Loki nodded. Apologies didn't come easily to either of them, so although Loki sensed that Thor's words encompassed more than comment on the loss of a half-brother Loki had never properly met, he didn't press further.
This afternoon on Asgard was scarcely less glum than on Jotunheim, the sky was overcast and a thin, cold rain fell. Those few who were out on the streets were occupied with the own affairs, likely eager to be done and be inside, so Loki and Thor received less attention than Loki had anticipated. Thor seemed glad for it. He avoided the gaze of the few that did realise that the dishevelled passer-by was their king.
'I didn't know who he was back then either,' Loki said. He hesitated for a moment, then decided he needed to be clear on where they stood now that Thor knew the truth. 'In any case, who am I to condemn you for anything? I killed my birth father today. Possibly many others.'
'For my sake, you say.'
'It had to be done.'
Thor looked sharply in Loki's direction. 'By your estimation, my life is worth a great many of your kin.'
How many would you've slain when you charged into Jotunheim with your hammer aloft?
Loki bit back the instinctive sarcastic retort and instead said, 'You are my brother. And my king.'
Thor left Loki's words hang between them without any sort of answer as they followed the gentle slope of the streets back home. The closer they got to the palace, the more guards they saw, but all of them had the wits to allow them through without challenge. And still, Thor had nothing to say.
Dread knotted Loki's innards. He hated himself for his neediness, but he couldn't help himself.
'We are still brothers, aren't we?' he asked and winced at the way his voice shook as he spoke.
Thor leaned towards Loki. He wrapped his arm around the back of Loki's shoulders and pulled him into a tight side-hug. 'You are the smartest person I know, so I don't have a clue how you can ask so stupid a question.'
'Thank you,' Loki said softly.
He wasn't sure Thor heard him. They had turned a corner and the palace itself now lay right before them, as grand and proud as ever. It bore no sign of the intrigues and turmoil that had taken place within over the recent weeks. Loki inched forward, but Thor's heavy arm kept him rooted in place.
'Thor?'
Thor peered up at the palace's golden towers with a thoughtful expression etched into his face. 'I'm not sure I am ready to return to being King Thor quite so soon.'
'None of us chooses what tapestry the Norns stitch for us, but you -'
The great gilded doors were thrown open; someone in the palace had noticed their approach. Thor sighed and slipped his hand off Loki's shoulders. They didn't make it far past the doors before flocks of guardsmen, servants and petty officials descended upon them. Their clamour was near deafening. Loki made sure to remain close to Thor. After all, among the Asgardians he remained a proclaimed traitor and an escaped prisoner.
Thor cleared his throat several times until he finally had everyone's attention and the noise dissipated. He pointed to one of the officials dressed in a scribe's robes. 'Find Lord Tyr, tell him I wish all forces withdrawn from Jotunheim. The frost giants have paid heavily enough for their intrusion into this palace.'
'Certainly, your majesty.' The woman bowed and scurried off.
'I wish also to see Lord Agnar,' Thor went on, pointing to another official from the gathered crowd. 'I will receive him in the Great Hall.' He frowned, then turned to look at Loki. 'Brother, would you take a handful of guards and find our mother? I'm certain she would want to know both her sons have returned home safe.'
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