A Real Reason

(Wilhelm Dragonsong)

Spoiler :

So Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all the rest of the various seasons greetings depending on your culture ;)

I am sorry about this kind of chapter, I actually have quite a bit more but I wasn't done with the 'bit more' so I decided to post this first and maybe I will post the rest later soon.

I nodded, in acceptance to what he said but kept my eyes peeled. I stood casually next to him leaning slightly on the desk and seemly content to just relax and slowly sip my drink, but hopefully hidden inside my curiosity was of course burning.

I gave it a few more minutes and hoped that he would let down his guard. Then I, deciding to get into having my questions answered slowly started off by asking most casually.

“So I was a bit surprised that in your strange mood of yours you hadn’t attacked me again when I let you up even if you did promise.”

He nervously chuckled looking a bit sheepish.

“If I had thought I would be able to hurt you, even if I was only able to damage you by a scratch I would have mostly likely attacked you until the end…but…”

“You probably wouldn’t be able to harm even a hair of mine let alone damage enough of my skin to make a scratch.”

I interrupted bluntly unable to resist baiting him, and was rewarded by a flinch followed by the darkening of his expression. I proceeded to engage in him in several more topics, and as soon as I believed that I had reached my goal of letting down his guard I asked.

“Why did your really have that reaction? I know your instincts are not that bad that you would attack me for such a silly reason. And if you really wanted someone to continue the tradition of your dojo that badly you probably would have adopted a more dedicated heir already.”

I leaned in closer then said whilst narrowing my eyes.

“Despite the way you acted I just can believe you are stupid enough that you would even hold the idea that I was intending an unsavory relationship without daughter seriously, especially how during that nice welcoming party we had you hinted that you wouldn’t mind if I married her.”

“Wel-l that was a joke of course…” He nervously stuttered.

“I know what it was, which is why I know your reaction was quite strange…so tell me. What is truly troubling you?”

He seemed to think about it for several long silent moments then said in a resigned voice.

“So are you sure that you are not going to write off what happened as just the mad reaction of a father afraid for his little girl?”

“Well although I can use that reasoning to account for at least part of it, it still was just a little too extreme for me to believe that it was the only reason. Especially for someone of your character, your father daughter relationship just isn’t that close. Don’t misunderstand that is not an insult far from it, I included your daughter’s nice personality and good morals as evidence what I mean is that you don’t have an unhealthy enough relationship that I could really buy that theory.“

He sighed deeply and for a long awkward moment there was silence.

“Fine…alright…I think I know, I realize that I can trust you with the real reason.”

Then in a feeble attempt to lighten up, he said.

“If I can’t trust the ‘mighty mage’, the ‘hero of the war’ then who can I trust eh…?”

Seeing that I was neither laughing nor flattered, he shrugged and with a bit of struggle hidden in his words said.

“…you may end up mocking me for this reason but before you do please hear me out.”

I nodded firmly my agreement, he drank the rest of the drink in one gulp and then with a small sigh collapsed onto the floor. He maneuvered his body into a meditative positon and clenched his fists. He started this time in a much stronger voice though his fists were starting to become white from the pressure of his clenching them.

“Not long after I lost Vanessa’s mother her fate, I found myself just wandering the land, my great grandfather had yet to ascend and so I was free from duty and tradition except for my daughter.

True I could have left her at my grandfather’s place or my mothers, but she was the only thing I had left of my wife to remember her by and I couldn’t bear to part with her and wander or stay with her and not wander so, I would carry her in a sling on my back.

I am a bit ashamed to admit it but I would carry her with me everywhere and that even included taking her with me on some of my missions which was required of me because of the positon I took as mercenary at that time.

It was partly in order to get by, I couldn’t be running back home for money everytime I needed it right? I had my pride, but…it was also because work kept my mind off the tragedy that had happened to me. I able to give the self-sanction to those actions because I always chose the ‘easy’ missions, and as I made the excuses to myself ‘at this level it’s not I or she was in any danger’, and this sad shameful existence continued for a while.

Then it happened. I had just rescued a village sum scum level bandits when a old woman approached me and demanded that I and my daughter come and rest in her home.

I at first thought that merely that she was just so full of gratitude she wanted to make what recompense she could as obviously neither she nor anyone in her village had any wealth. So I followed her without much resistance if any. There are times now that I often think I shouldn’t have done so, at least I think I would have been far happier if never had.

It was a small shack, though admittedly well made, it had a bed, a stove and not much else. There was a small table and a few chairs one of which I sat on. The woman to my surprise made no moves to make a meal or even look at me let alone speak to me. So for quite a while there was just this uncanny almost eerie kind of silence.

Then when she finally did start looking at me I was quite startled as I hadn’t even noticed. I remember her eyes were so strange, so youthful in her ancient face yet so fitting. I had no clue as to her true age, I had no ability to sense cultivation levels at that time, but judging by the wrinkles she was probably just an ordinary mortal as much as I came to doubt that theory later on.

She asked to hold my daughter. I saw such yearning in her expression that I handed Vanessa over without even really thinking about it. She gently took her form my arms and carefully held her, like the baby was made of glass or frail ice.

It was with the saddest of expressions that she looked at her. I had this thought that she was missing her own daughter or grandchild or someone of that similar relations and I felt quite a lot of empathy for her from this assumption. Sadly I was wrong."