《WriTEathon》Will Bender (Chapter 1) [DarkClaymore]
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Nobody could oppose anything I said.
As a kid, I didn’t question it. It felt natural to be get anything I want from my parents, and get away with any misdeed.
But that didn’t change when I entered school either.
Not only my parents but my classmates and teachers - nobody was willing to oppose me.
The kids around me were complaining a lot.
"Mama doesn’t let me watch TV till late."
"Papa is angry with me when I come home late."
Small, daily complaints like that. Nobody found them odd, for they were so common.
Common for everybody... other than me.
Gradually, it was becoming apparent: It was abnormal.
Just by talking, I could turn best friends against each other. Just by whispering, I could turn a well-liked kid into a victim of class bullying.
I did all these things. I did them because I wanted to know where’s the limit.
My demands were only opposed when they were very big; when they completely opposed the beliefs of the person.
People only resisted when I asked them to do the "unthinkable," as it were in their minds.
But these extreme demands... they didn’t really matter to me.
It was obvious that the so-called "limit" is set so high, that I’d never had any real reason to care about it.
By the time I entered seventh grade, I could no longer regard those around me as "human".
They were nothing but objects. They were nothing but toys for me to play with.
Whenever I was bored, I’d make other kids entertain me.
Bullying each other, bullying teachers or outright wreaking havoc. I made them dance at my tongue's command.
I was a king.
A king sitting on top of a huge pile of toys.
No matter how much damage I caused - not a single person stood up to me.
Nobody blamed me, nobody thought that I should be punished.
Even those who intended to confront me - fell short. After a short exchange of words with me, they no longer bore any ill will toward me.
Those who made trouble were called "bad kids", they were scolded.
But I have never been a"bad kid", I have never been scolded.
Therefore, none of my actions were "bad" or "wrong".
At times, I’d jokingly imagine myself burning the school down to ashes.
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Would they still say that I’m not at fault? That I’m a "good kid"?
Thoughts like that made me laugh.
That very year, a transfer student came to our class.
Her name was Lia. A black haired girl with bright blue eyes.
She was "just average", that’s what I thought to myself. Just another toy to my collection.
There was but one thing different about her.
"Lia is deaf, so I trust you to support her."
The teacher concluded her introduction with that one sentence.
There was nothing special about this girl called Lia. She was average in every way as far as I was concerned; just another lifeless toy.
Her deafness was an unfortunate defect. She was no more than damaged goods delivered to my collection.
At that time, that’s all she amounted to.
"What did you say!?"
"You want a piece of me, huh!?"
It happened on the following day.
"Please, stop."
The transfer student tried to extinguish a quarrel between two classmates.
The two were putting on a show orchestrated by me. It was a boring day, so I wanted some action.
"Just leave them be."
I plainly asked her so. I wanted the show to continue.
"Please, calm down."
My words were ignored.
It took me aback. It gave me an unpleasant sensation.
"Oh, right. She’s deaf, haha."
I laughed it off. She just didn’t hear me, that was all.
It’s not like she ignored me. It’s not like she opposed me.
Of course not.
Nobody would do that.
As I convinced myself of that, I walked toward Lia and grabbed her arm.
Once she was forced to look at me, I spoke again.
"There’s no reason to get involved, right?"
Whenever someone tried to stop the flames I start, I’d speak such words to them.
No matter how righteous they felt, each and every one of them would forfeit once my words sink into them.
That time she could read my lips. No doubt she’d back down, same as everybody else.
"What are you saying? I must stop them!"
She released herself from my grab and continued her struggle.
The arguing boys decided to drop it after a couple of seconds.
Perhaps out of consideration, perhaps out of pity. Regardless, that girl called Lia managed to stop them.
While each of them left to mind their own business, I just stood there.
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I couldn’t move a muscle. My body was petrified from shock.
This average girl, who was no better than a damaged doll, boldly opposed me.
My insides were twisted from inside. I had no idea how to call that feeling, for it was the first time I have ever experienced it.
A fluke... surely, it was a fluke.
Maybe she didn’t properly read my lips. After all, reading someone’s lips like that must be hard, right?
I had to convince myself that I was mistaken. I had to believe that it didn’t happen.
Otherwise... I wouldn’t have been able to go forward.
"Why should I do that?"
It didn’t work that day either.
I have been trying to command this girl over and over, to move her like a puppet.
Nobody ever asked me "Why"; they only knew how to obey.
This girl clearly understood what I was saying.
She understood... but she refused.
Believing that her resistance would eventually wear off, I tried to submit her on daily basis.
But that didn’t work; she didn’t break. Not after a week, not after a month.
She tried to calm down the tides I started. She refused to take part in misdeeds into which I tried to drag her.
But above everything... she didn’t like me.
Every person I met was nice to me, liking me no matter what I did.
That’s because I instinctually wanted them to like me. By interacting with people, I'd subconsciously order them: "Like me."
They’d grow to like me, no matter what.
But that girl didn’t.
She saw the conflicts I sparked and grew to treat me like a "bad boy". She even scolded me on occasions.
Her existence was a bold opposition to my unquestionable kinghood.
Yet...
Whenever she pierced me with her hating eyes, shivers ran across my body. Whenever she scolded me, waves of heat would strike my body.
All of it was thoroughly unpleasant.
But for some reason... I couldn’t get enough of it.
Sparking her hate became a daily routine for me. It was unpleasant, but for some reason I wanted it.
I wanted to receive her hate, to be scolded by her.
She was the only one capable of giving me such bittersweet experiences.
It happened about two months after her arrival.
Lia’s dislike of me has become widely known in class.
Everybody in the class liked me. Therefore, everybody in class grew to dislike Lia.
As the king’s enemy, she has become an outcast in my kingdom.
It didn’t take long for bullying to follow suit.
They have never went overboard, probably because she was a girl and disabled.
Nevertheless, they hid her notebooks, glued gum to her chair, drew improper pictures on her locker and much more.
All I did was standing there, observing her distress from afar.
She was the enemy of the king, it was only natural for her to suffer.
I could easily stop the bullying, all I needed were a couple of words.
But I didn’t lift a finger. I wanted to keep watching it.
That gloomy expression she wore as she washed her locker. Those teary eyes she wore as she was scolded by the teacher for things she hasn’t done.
I desired to see more and more of it all. I wanted her resistance to bring suffering to her.
Even if it was her, she had to eventually break. She had to submit to the king.
My heart was filled with anticipation toward that moment.
I wished for her to turn to me with tears in her eyes. I wanted her to helplessly seek my help and to bow in front of me.
That defected doll... I wanted to add her to my collection so badly.
... but it didn’t happen.
She silently bore all the pain and continued to dislike me. No... perhaps at that point, she has already grown to outright hate me.
She was doing everything against my expectations.
Other than me... she was the only living human being in this world.
Without realizing it, since Lia’s arrival - my eyes were only looking at her.
Kids and adults alike were nothing more than hollow puppets for me. My interest in them grew weary over time.
She was the only being in this world who was interesting. In a sense, her persistent resistance delighted me.
I wanted her to submit to me, but I also wanted her to keep resisting me.
It was a mixed desire which I didn’t quite grasp at the time. By watching her suffer, I hoped to understand better what Lia meant to me.
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