Chapter 28: Pride/Judgement

In the days before the Empire. In the days before our heroes. In the days before me, Apollo Kan. Redcoomshi existed, and its tales spread far and wide. A save haven for slaves. A free city where opportunities are aplenty. A place where heroes are forged. It was there on that mountain that Apollo Kan became Apollo Kan the Champion. Orc Slayer…

Excerpt from A Hero’s Champion spoken by Duke Apollo Kan.

“A new challenger has appeared.”

A deep monotone voice rang out as I entered the hall and stopped to look around in amazement. There were multiple thrones and, in each throne, sat a being with their face obscured. A bronze dwarf like man sat in the far left with a fairy like statue sitting on the throne to his left. Each throne had a figure except the very middle. The only one sized for a human. Behind these thrones where a pair of large golden eyes with slits in the middle that gave them a snake like appearance. The eyes where larger than all the thrones combined, and I couldn’t help but get the feeling that they were looking through me and appraising me for all I was worth.

To my left a tall blonde woman appeared with a white cloth coving her eyes.

“Ashen One.” Her voice was light with a hint of playfulness.

“Ashen?”

She pulled the cloth from one eye and a grey iris stared back at me. She cleared her throat then spoke again in a slightly deeper voice.

“Challenger.”

“Seeing as we’re the only two here I guess that’s me.” My voice came out a bit rougher than I meant too and I tried to clear my mind as I realized the pain from the first test was still lingering.

“You have passed the test of Will and have made it to the second stage of the trials. Pride.

I am the Ax Maiden in servitude to the Pantheon of Arrgonton.” An apparition of a giant ax appeared behind her back while an even bigger scaly palm grabbed towards the ax. The ax bit towards the scaled palm yet in that moment I knew it would be futile as it would be like an ant trying to bite a human hand. It may cause a slight sing of irritation but nothing but that, irritation.

“The Pantheon of Arrgonton.” I repeated slowly as I knew of the gods but not much in truth as the Kan focused on a more martial path and did not worship any of the gods. That didn’t mean the citizens didn’t just my family itself. As I learned recently, the gods where every much real and could act on Nia itself. I wonder if they could descend or have avatars as I thought of the various stories and shows I had watched in my previous life.

“Yes. The Pantheon of Arrgonton. I am the Head Priestess for Arrgonton himself.” The tone that she had from before vanished as if it never existed in the first place and Ax Maiden seemed to even grow in height standing eye to eye with me. “You have passed the Trial of Will, and now will face the Trial of Judgement also known as the Trial for Pride. Step forward,” she said gesturing towards the small throne that was between the various gods. It was now that I noticed at the foot of each throne was a small description.

Arva, the Goddess of Fertility, who with her blessings allowed the Golden Pastures the Empire to flourish. Rirrypha, the Goddess of Youth and Healing, who’s many priest traveled the lands giving out free healing to those in need.

“Is there anything you can tell me about the Trial of Judgement?”

From what I have gone through the Trial of Will was testing exactly that. Your will and determination to go on no matter the pain. The pain it put you through wasn’t anything to scoff at. It took me an entire day to move on from the very first step as my body got accustomed to it. A step I imagine many lost their life too. It felt as if I had the weight of a world on my shoulders and every single cell in my body felt as if it was screaming out in pain.

There was other test for each step such as hot iron being poured down my throat or my skin being peeled as I walked. Each step was different from the last hoping to break my mind and will in some way, yet I held firm in my steps. What kept me going was the fact that I already experienced something similar and the fact that I would not let anything, ANYTHING, control me if my mind was firm in that belief I kept moving. Even when the very muscles seemed to melt inside my body and turn into an acidic liquid that burned at my bones.

“Step forward and you will realize. Afterwards if you succeed in your judgement, I will take you to a resting hall where you can lounge and leave when you are ready for the next attempt. Just remember being prideful in who you are and what you’ve done. Not many can make it this far.”

I gave the Ax Maiden a long look. In truth I wasn’t sure what I was looking for as she was covered in pristine red robes like the color of the ends of my dreads. I guess if anything I was looking for any hints of the challenge that was to come.

I took a few moments to mentally prepare myself before I started my trek across the great hall. With each step I felt as if the gods sitting upon the throne focused on me more. At first, I thought they were starring straight but as I got closer and closer, I could swear their faces followed me closely. At least a few of the statues. The eyes beyond them ever present ever judging. Finally, I approached the throne. It was an ugly black thing. Whereas the gods’ thrones were decorated with jewels or depictions of animals and even battles. The throne for meant for me was plain, slightly crooked, and seemed to be falling apart. I took a deep breath and turned to sit down.

Shock emerged on my face as I saw myself standing in the very center of the hall. I looked down on my person and saw through myself almost causing me to panic. Looking back at my body I held my head low and was kneeling on the ground. It almost looked like I was waiting on a verdict that would decide my fate.

A calm rational mindset overtook me as I got comfortable in the throne and suddenly, I did not see the throne as an object to disregard. It was ugly yes, but it was functional and provided comfort that would allow me an overview of my trial without emotions involved. I could see what I had done in coming to this world is a strict subjective manner.

***

“Devil tits and Skrag’s milk why can’t we see him and how he judges himself?”

Arva said while pushing the remote. Which didn’t do anything to the 3D projection Gorrg conjured.

The god himself sighed and stood up going towards the flat screen that they use to view the mortals of Nia originally. They had taken the idea from other pantheons that used more technology instead of magic. Just as he reached the tv he suddenly frowned and turned around.

“Isn’t this the Trial of Judgement that you created?” Directing his question towards Arva.

“Yes?” she responded hesitantly as Gorrg was the master of the technologies for their pantheon and was the one to help make the trials function properly.

“If I recall correctly,” Gorrg said while stroking his beard. “Didn’t you say that you ‘I don’t care for the mortals of Nia and their petty views on themselves. Why would I want a way to watch their judgment trials?’ If I recall correctly.” His voice mimicked hers to perfection. Even as he recalled the memory from over a thousand years ago.

Arva face flushed red, then black, then purple, before finally settling on grey resigned expression. She opened her mouth to speak.

“Can you fix it?”

Shaking his head Gorrg said, “Not in the time it takes for him to either successfully complete his trial or fail.”

Arva growled in frustration before sighing. She picked at the platter of food in front of her while the pantheon looked upon her. Waiting for her decision. She was their leader after all.

“We can do that later, actually let’s go through the entire trial and make sure we tie up anymore loose ends. We can’t afford to lose such opportunities in the future.”

***

“Aegis Kan, you are here to be tried in three accounts. First your conduct throughout the years. Second, your hesitation to provide a new path forward for the people you are to rule. Finally, for your defiance in the face of reality,” I said while looking at my body.

A strange sensation overtook me and suddenly I was not only the judge but also defendant. Completely back in control of my body mind and soul. I wanted to ask the system what was going on. I thought my soul was already sold. Unwillingly, but sold, nonetheless. I took a deep breath before I spoke.

“What accusations do you have levied against me? What crimes have I committed.” I didn’t care even if I was the judge, I would not allow anyone to just bully me.

Rationality overtook me again and I could see exactly what Defendant Aegis was trying to do. Exactly what he wanted to do when facing the necromancer. Disrupt the flow of the conversation and use an opening to find a way out. Even now his, my, eyes where darting looking for an escape. The years of traveling with your life constantly on the line had put him in an over aware state.

“Let us start with your birth.”

A memory flashed before both of us, and the Defendant Aegis took charge as [Perfect Recall] activated. Perfect Recall was an ability that came with my first aspect, Aspect: Starlit Harbinger, it allowed me to perfectly recall any moments I considered special. With it I could notice every detail, every action, and I could even move the memory in 3D. During my free time I would go through my memories allowing me to relive them. It helped when I was feeling lonely or missing my family. I wonder how big Akash and Tara where now. They should be around 7.

“You had the perfect opportunity to truly explain to mother the confusion in your, our, heart by letting her know we were a reborn soul from a completely different world. A soul born with our memories intact and with a mission to spread power to the various races. You know of the dangers of the Empire. Teacher Rue and the Kans have made sure to provide you with the knowledge this world is not safe without the strength to protect yourself. You know of Eradication.”

The memory that came up was when I finally had mastery over the language. Just a bit under 4 at the time. I was alone with my mother, and I struggled with an opportunity. An opportunity to tell her of my origins or to keep it hidden. As I view the memory all the feelings and emotions came out. The anxiety at revealing who and what I am. The stress from the constant worrying about it and how my parents would react. Would they kill me? Or maybe they would shun me and lock me away in a tower like a princess. I didn’t know but the last emotion that overtook me was fear. Fear of rejection, fear of disappointing the people I was growing to love. Fear of their face and reaction. That fear was the thing that held sway over me. Yet it was at this moment that my mother spoke up and I believe it was these words that caused the memory to become a special moment.

“It’s ok my little shield. Its ok to be who you are. Its ok as I will always protect you.”

Keala could see the hesitation in her son and reached out to pick him up. Giving him a squeeze and planting a kiss on his face. The boy giggled and she rocked him gently to sleep.

The memory ended and the Rational Aegis could see the mistake in his plan as a firm resolved settle in me.

“I was accepted even without revealing who I truly am. I did not and still do not regret my actions that day. I hold no guilt and only pride.”

“Hmph. Maybe so, maybe not.

That does not excuse the second your behavior throughout the years. You had a mission assigned to you and in 10 years you’ve only delivered upon one person. You have a chance to change the very lives of every single person on this continent, yet you hesitate again, and again, and again. From what little we have seen of Aspects they are a great boon to any. Look around you. This world is dangerous. Beast and monsters run rampant. Villages destroyed and lives lost. Look at the orphans in the streets of the dukedom capital. Why are there so many. Why have you not questioned these actions.”

For a time, I remained silent looking at the soul version of myself sitting on the black throne. That was one thing I always noticed no matter the city I visited. Whether it be the capital of the dukedom or the capital of the Empire. Orphans were everywhere and abundant. Yet I never truly considered why this was but as the Rational Aegis talked more and more a realization came upon me.

“Power is dangerous. Power can give safety, but it can also bring destruction. I have plans. You know this I know this. I will not just hand out power to anyone who could bring harm and destruction not yet. Not without running test myself.” I held up my hands with the runic silver runic cuffs still clasped over my wrist. The very cuffs that stopped me from using the first ability of my aspect. I had long ago let go of the original rage at not being able to use my magic as my physical abilities where more than enough.

“We’re building an army, aren’t we?”

I couldn’t bring myself to fully defend against the rational version of myself. He, I, looked upon me with cold eyes at least that’s the feeling I got as those emotionless starry eyes stared at me. I was at an impasse. I could not figure out a way to properly defend myself and my head hung low. I had lost this battle and it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Rational Aegis smirked at me, and I scowled back up at myself. This was not a pleasant feeling arguing with your soul or the rational part of myself that looked at everything in black and white. I looked back up at the Rational version of myself and it hit me that it was in an uncolored state. As if all color and true signs of life faded the moment it took a seat. I realized this was something I could use to win.

“The third and final accusation is your defiance in the face of reality. You are in over your head Aegis Kan, or should I say Terrence Brown? As your body and soul grow your attachment to your previous life and values continue to shrink. Do you think I don’t know why you only recruit orphans? When there are plenty of third and fourth sons of vassal nobility more than willing to serve you. Do you believe you can truly face against gods when you could barely face yourself.”

Laughter echoed out as Rational Aegis looked down upon me and I felt my will my pride dwindling. Another memory flashed in front of us.

Terrence Brown held up his sign protesting the death of another unarmed civilian at the hands of the police. This was the 4th one this week and, in this year, over 500 police shootings happened already. Terrence just like most of the populace was tired. Tired of watching innocent people die on social media and tired of the injustice that his fellow Americans faced by their own government.

The memory changed and suddenly I was in the streets of the dukedom. Holding out my hand to a young girl. A girl older than me in appearance but not in mind. Later that girl would become my personal maid. The memory flashed again I watched struggling orphans in the streets of Ashburn. Then the capital of the Empire. Then I was once again Terrence Brown active member of my community and confused young man who didn’t know his path in life. Then the memory flashed to just under a year ago. As I contemplated plans of using the orphans of my army to conduct test on aspects. From the little I knew about them already aspects enhanced your body, mind, and now soul as it had done for Ryna recently. By expanding my magic and mana pool it expanded my mind. By enhancing my physical traits and abilities it provided further strength for my body.

“Originally yes I looked at the orphans and those without family as a way for me to experiment without every noble house poking their nose in my business. But my mind has changed not out of the goodness of my heart but out of a necessity for it. Who I was previously does not matter. That life is dead and over. Who I am now is what matters. If I cannot take pride in myself with the knowledge and values, I once held then I cannot take pride in the effort I have expended in order to change into someone worthy of the title of being a harbinger. Worthy of the power that very title holds.

I have faced myself time and time again. Each time I found Pride in the fact that I had powers and abilities regular humans on Earth and even here don’t have. I take Pride in knowing I have something even the gods will covet even if I don’t know why or how.”

The more I spoke the firmer my conviction became, and the smaller Rational Aegis became in my eyes. Until I was standing and looking eye to eye and finally, I radiated my aura and bloodline and the figure dissipated leaving only the black throne behind.