《Math God Plane - On Hiatus》Chapter 13: I'm Daoli
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All the men wore wicked grins on their faces as they walked over. Shuxue reached forward, picked up the tea kettle, and poured some tea for himself calmly. He could hear a customer nearby mumbling to another person.
“Those are Spear Tower mercenaries! They’re one of the top mercenary groups in the area, and very bloodthirsty. Some say they are even bandits. It’s best not to get on their bad side.”
Shuxue held his tea aloft as the leading mercenary smashed his fist down at their table. “Hey, this is our table! I’m Xiaogou (meaning: little dog) of the Spear Tower mercenary group. If you know what’s good for you, get out of here!”
Lady Daoli looked at him unhappily. Despite her previous blank expression, she now seemed quite indignant. “Why do we have to get out? Can’t we share?”
Xiahan glanced at her, then did a double take. “Whoa! A lady this attractive, of course we can share with you. Heheh.” He licked his lips in anticipation. “But your two brothers need to get out. Our boss may be into little boys, but not us.”
“Excuse me!” Daoli stood up and screeched at Xiaogou. “Are you really going to kick us out of this table, when there’s room for all of us?! Don’t you have a wife and children at home? How will they feel if they knew you were killing children over a restaurant table? What about your mother? Has she never told you that it isn’t worth risking your life over a table? Just look at this table! It’s can’t be worth more than 10 Arithmetic pearls, yet you actually insist claiming ownership over it! Do you realize that you look like a miserly fool when you fight over such a meager possession? It doesn’t make any sense! Why, I…”
Shuxue sipped his tea, a disappointed expression on his face. Daoli had definitely seen Zhujiao kill off those bandits earlier. Why was she trying to save these imbeciles? Did she want to copulate with one of them or something?
“... are you doing with your life as mercenaries? Hasn’t your mother ever told you that this is dangerous work? Oh, right, we were talking about seating. Do you actually think that there isn’t enough chairs or something? You must have eyes, yet you can’t even see the stack of chairs in the back! Pick those chairs up right this moment and move them to this table!”
The mercenaries were meekly cowering back. “Y-yes, ma’am.” They moved some chairs over to the table and quietly sat down, studiously reading their menus. Xiaogou, for his part, seemed to have a starry glint in his eyes as he stared at Daoli.
Zhujiao, Shuxue, and Daoli’s food arrived. As they devoured the fragrant rice and meat, Xiaogou began to speak.
“Beautiful madam,” he said shyly, a slight blush on his face. “I really appreciated your heartfelt concern towards my comrades and I. I never thought about how cheaply I was treating my life until you spoke. What was I thinking, fighting with some 10-year old over a mere restaurant table?” He indicated towards Shuxue. “To tell you the truth, I have never been married, and I’ve always wanted to spend time with an intelligent and attractive woman, but I’ve been stuck for too long in this dead-end mercenary job that’s only fit for irrelevant side characters. It’s time for a change! It would be my honor to learn your name, I -”
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“Her name is Daoli, you can shut your damn mouth now.” Shuxue glared at him exasperatedly. This was why he hated other people; horse manure came out of their mouths along with their behinds. At least with horses, it only came out from one end.
“Daoli! In truth, when I listened to you that time, I was reminded of my mother.” Xiaogou took hold of one of Daoli’s arms. She had stopped eating and was listening intently to Xiaogou, a gratified look on her face. “Back then, I hated her spiels, but-”
SLAP!
Zhujiao had reached out and, using Shuxue’s very own slapping technique, thwacked Xiaogou on the cheek.
“Unhand her!” He shouted indignantly. “Only Zhujiao can do that! When anyone else does it, it’s lecherous!”
Xiaogou stared at Zhujiao, a look of unbridled rage in his eyes. “You dare ruin this moment for me! Damn you, can’t you see I was pouring my heart out? Can you not give me any face?”
Zhujiao and Xiaogou started heatedly arguing. Some of the mercenaries looked at Zhujiao malevolently, cracking their knuckles.
“This little shit, he’s actually getting in the way of our Second Bro.”
“He needs to be taught a lesson!”
Shuxue poured some more tea, waiting for Zhujiao to kill them all.
Daoli jabbed a finger at them, a fiery look in her eyes. “What do you think you’re about to do!” She roared. “You of the senior generation actually want to bully the weak! Are you all trying to lose all face? Can’t you see all these people in this restaurant, watching you all make fools of yourselves?”
Xiaogou immediately stood up, a strange mix of sadness and disappointment in his eyes. “My deepest apologies, Madam Daoli. We will be leaving now, I am truly sorry for tarnishing your presence with ours.”
“What!” One of the other mercenaries complained. “We haven’t even gotten our food yet!”
“Shut up!” Xiaogou shouted, herding them out of the restaurant. He turned back to Daoli, bowing deeply. “I would really love to meet you again, Madam Daoli, but it would be too shameless of me right now to ask you where you come from! May fate bless me. Farewell, Daoli!” He walked out of the restaurant holding his head up high. If Shuxue had bothered to look, he would’ve seen a single passionate tear trickling down Xiaogou’s cheek.
Daoli watched him go, a strange expression on her face. “I’ve always known I would finally get through to someone. Zhujiao, you’re too young to understand, but even though I’ve lost everyone important to me, that meeting was like seeing the light in a very dark place. Before, I was contemplating reuniting with my grandfather, but I know now that I can continue to live.”
Zhujiao flicked a booger onto the ceiling, watching it bounce off and fall into someone’s drink. “Hey, look! Wanted posters!” He excitedly jumped out of his seat and walked up to the wall. On it were many papers, each bearing a person’s portrait and some details Shuxue couldn’t make out.
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“Wow, what a big prize!” Zhujiao shouted. He took off a paper, waving it in the face of another customer. “1,000 Algebra pearls! That’s... 1,000 Algebra pearls! So many!”
The customer sneered, taking out a jade slip and waving it in Zhujiao’s face. “Damn kid, 1,000 Algebra pearls is just 1 hair on the body of 9 bulls. This jade slip alone is worth- AHHHHHH!”
A parabola surrounded the customer, incinerating him to ashes. All the patrons of the restaurant yelled out in surprise.
“A Parabola attack! This child is an expert of the middle Algebra stage!”
“No, he’s using an advanced Parabola attack! He must be in the late Algebra stage!”
“At such a young age, he must be the young master of a fairly talented clan! Quick, get out, get out!”
They all ran out of the restaurant in utter terror, leaving only the panicking restaurant owner. Conveniently, none of the customers had bothered to pay their bills.
Shuxue picked up the jade slip quite smugly. “How dare this man not give you any face, Zhujiao! Don’t worry, though, someone like him is beneath your eyes. I took care of the matter for you.” He immediately pressed the jade slip to his forehead. Then again. Then again. Then again.
The jade slip fell to the ground, some small cracks appearing on it from being used so many times. Shuxue stood there, a look of pleasant shock on his face.
“This is like meat pies falling from the heavens! Zhujiao, I must study this Algebra jade slip. It’s a comprehensive problem set of Conics! You’ll have to put off this dungeon raid until I finish.” Giggling in ecstasy, Shuxue’s left hand snaked into his pants as his right picked up the jade slip and pressed it to his forehead.
Zhujiao shrugged and went back to the wanted posters. “Wow, this guy with golden eyebrows and the curly moustache is called Houlong (meaning: Throat). He gave the Fang Clan no face! The bo-bow-bownty is 500,000 Arithmetic pearls! Wow!”
Daoli looked at the poster, frowning. “Beware: Uses a light sword to stab people through the throat! Very agile, highly dangerous! Hunt at your own risk. The bounty commissioner is not liable for any damages or losses incurred from…”
“Wow, this guy with the green hair and long eyelashes is called Jiangan (meaning: Rapier)! He killed five Halberd Cave mercenaries over a restaurant table! The bounty is 700,000 Arithmetic pearls! Wow!” Zhujiao handed the paper off to Daoli, who began reading that one.
“Beware: Uses a light sword to stab people through the throat. Very agile, highly dangerous! Hunt at your-”
“Wow, this girl with big boobs and round eyes is called Jijian (meaning: Fencing). She’s so pretty! She crippled the three legs of the young master of the Ji Clan, the biggest Clan on our Weakest Plane! Bounty is 99,999,999 Algebra pearls! Wow!”
“Beware: Uses a light sword to stab people through the throat. Very-”
“Wow, this bear saw the young mistress of Shadowmount city bathing in the river naked! Bounty is 500,000 Arithmetic pearls! Wow!”
“Beware: Uses a light sword…”
An hour later, Zhujiao stood over the scattered posters on the ground, his head in his hands. “Wow, there’s so many light sword experts in Continent 10! That’s so cool! I want one too!”
At the same time, Shuxue snapped back from his reverie. “Conics… is not the end of the road of Algebraic insights!” He whispered hoarsely. “There’s something even greater than it!” Shuxue could be said to have grasped the peak of the Algebra stage. It was said there was nothing more to be learned from the Algebra stage from him. Yet…
When he did this problem set, he felt that there were more profound Algebra truths awaiting his discovery. Shuxue could dimly sense them, but he had no way of actually comprehending them.
“Haha… After the Algebra stage, is the legendary Calculus stage! There is not a single Calculus expert in our Weakest Continent, so in terms of the profound laws, I am already at the peak of my Weakest Continent. But I feel that this is not all there is to Algebra. Branches of any of the amazing Mathematical Laws are inexhaustible and boundless; one can spend a lifetime training in it!”
“That Algebra dungeon clearly contains more profound insights into the Algebra stage!” Shuxue’s eyes began glittering dangerously, to the point where even a nearby table began to emit smoke.
Author note: Reading Chaotic Sword God will get you the most out of this chapter.
The “Conics is not the end of the road” was paraphrased from Book 8, Chapter 16 of Coiling Dragon. It was also paraphrased from Desolate Era’s Book 3, Chapter 18. It was also probably paraphrased from Stellar Transformations. Even though I haven’t read Swallowed Star, I might accidentally have paraphrased that, too.
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