《Math God Plane - On Hiatus》Chapter 19: I'm the Sphinx!
Advertisement
Shuxue was about to open the first chest again, but then he turned around to the remaining disciples. The girls quailed in fright; he had killed thirty disciples in an instant. If Shuxue wished to kill them as well, there would be nothing they could do.
“Hey, you can all fuck off now.” Shuxue waved his hands at Elder Yin and the disciples, shooing them away. “I’m going into secluded meditation. If you guys were here, it wouldn’t be secluded.”
Elder Yin hesitated, clearly unwilling to go. He wanted to see what kinds of scrolls were in the chests! Still, if Shuxue said he had to go, then he did.
“Until we meet again.” Elder Yin bowed politely, then led the disciples out.
“Should I go out, too?” Zhujiao asked curiously.
“Nah, I just don’t want them to see the contents in this chest. People have big mouths, you know. It’s never good to show off.” Shuxue said calmly.
“But I love showing off!” Zhujiao yelled. “I haven’t suicided because I love seeing people’s reactions.”
“It’s commit suicide, not suicided.” Shuxue muttered as he flipped open the chest. Brilliant rays of light burst forth. Inside the chest… were jade slips!
“YESSSSS!” Shuxue screamed, immediately taking one out and smashing it onto his forehead. “Systems of equations! Having more than 2 variables! How profound!”
Another one came out. Shuxue’s body began to get stained by worldly filth. “V-v-vectors! So that’s what these are! What a genius method to write out systems of equations! This makes so much sense, it’s ridiculous how I’ve never thought of it before!”
Thirty minutes later, all the chests were stained with worldly filth. If Shuxue were in his right ming, he would have realized that he had violated the first law of thermodynamics. It simply wasn’t possible to shed so much worldly filth, but he had. In the presence of Plot, all rules were made to be broken. Even the first law of thermodynamics was not immune to Plot.
“Linear Algebra.” Shuxue’s eyes glittered. “A branch of the laws that has been forgotten in our Weakest Plane, yet is twice as strong as the Calculus stage! Ha ha ha…”
Advertisement
Shuxue was extremely pleased. He was undoubtedly the one and only Linear Algebra stage expert in the entire plane!
“I always knew, deep down, that I was the best. After all, I’m me. It’s a fundamental postulate; how would the world work if I wasn’t the best? But today, I’ve finally found proof that I’m the best!” A tear trickled down Shuxue’s face. He was about to say more, but the mathforce pervading the air began to coalesce into a staircase.
“Whoaaaa!” Zhujiao yelled. “We’re still not done with the tomb!”
Shuxue looked at it, and began to laugh madly. “It looks like the path to enlightenment does not end at Linear Algebra. Let’s see what’s next!” They ran up the staircase as fast as they could, even though they could’ve teleported.
A hole opened up in the ceiling as the staircase connected with it. Shuxue could see strange monsters hopping around. These monsters… they had more letters than numbers! They had to be extremely profound!”
BOOM!
A humongous winged tiger with a human head landed on the staircase, sending trembles running through the entire dungeon. Shuxue and Zhujiao skidded to a stop in shock.
*burp* “Excuse me.” The strange animal said. Making a gargling sound, it spat a loogie onto the staircase.
“Grooosssssss.” Zhujiao exclaimed. He lifted his finger up to attack, but Shuxue immediately slapped his hand down. His face was pale with sweat.
Because on the skin of this animal, dy/dx symbols flickered on and off! It was covered with derivative armor! Zhujiao could shoot out disgustingly powerful attacks, but they would do absolutely nothing against derivative armor.
Not to mention, Zhujiao’s attacks would consume an obscene amount of pearls. After that last fight, the Plot Armor was definitely running low on mathforce. Offending this… thing, that would be asking for death!
“Listen up, motherfuckers.” The thing said, brushing her long hair aside with a paw. “I’m the Sphinx, and I’m bored!”
“Hi, Bored!” Zhujiao yelled. “I’m Zhujiao!”
“Shut the fuck up!” Shuxue and the Sphinx both shouted. Shuxue’s hand slapped his left cheek, while the Sphinx’s paw slapped his right. For some reason, Plot Armor didn’t bother to block it, and Zhujiao stood there, not sure which way to topple over.
Advertisement
“Esteemed Sphinx.” Shuxue knelt down, kowtowing on the staircase as best he could. “Might I ask, what do you wish from us? Kidnap a little girl? 1,000 hours of community service?”
“I’m telling you motherfuckers to listen the fuck up!” The Sphinx roared, smashing the staircase with its paw. “I’m the guardian of floor 5 of this motherfucking, shitty ass tomb, and I’ve been the guardian for 50 goddamn years ever since that little bitch ass piece of shit motherfucker…”
After a minute, the Sphinx finished cursing. “...mathematical law created me and put me in this hellhole! And I’m bored!”
Shuxue nodded slowly. With crazy beings, it was best to just roll with whatever they said, even if they dared to blaspheme the holy mathematical laws. “Okay.”
“Now you little shits see here, I’m only supposed to appear at the end of the 5th floor. But you filthy casuals are like muddy silt on the surface of a limpid pond! None of you possess the goddamn brains to conquer this damn tomb! It’s not even a particularly fancy tomb! It’s like this is the motherfucking Weakest Plane or something. My life is so pitiful.” The Sphinx spat off the side of the staircase, watching the spittle go down. It landed on a monster, reducing it into mathforce.
A tear trickled down Shuxue’s eye. When he spoke, it was with a voice full of emotion. “I completely agree with you. Everybody except for me is a complete and utter moron. Sometimes, I lie on my bed and -”
“Shut the fuck up!” The Sphinx shouted. “I’m here to make your life difficult, not to listen to your sob stories! Now listen here, I’m going to ask you two meatbags a question you can’t possibly answer without knowledge of derivatives! If you can’t answer it, you both die!”
Shuxue’s eyes bugged. “But we don’t know derivatives!”
“Suck a fat dick, bitch!” The Sphinx exclaimed. “My struggles are harder than yours, you aren’t allowed to complain. Also, you guys can’t leave. You have to participate, or else I automatically kill both of you. Don’t think I can’t kill both of you. I’m an Early Late Calculus stage Spirit! Resistance is futile!”
“Plot!” Zhujiao yelled. “Teleport us out of here, now! Why aren’t you hearing me, Plot?!”
Neither Shuxue nor Zhujiao teleported. “Curse my luck.” Shuxue moaned. “To die so soon after reaching the peak peak peak peak Algebra stage, Linear Algebra. I knew that Plot Armor was unreliable from the very beginning.”
Zhujiao was trembling, but his face was hard and cold. “All right, Sphinx poophead! Tell us your question!”
“Shut the fuck up! Let me tell you two the question!” The Sphinx conjured a book out of nowhere and began flipping through it. “Just let me look through the textbook for a good problem.”
Several minutes passed. “I’m going to die, I’m going to die…” Shuxue whispered painfully to himself. He hung on to every second, trying to savor the last moments of his life.
Yet in the time it took an incense stick to burn, the Sphinx had found a suitable question. It was finally time to die. The Sphinx began cackling evilly, much like Shuxue would do back when he wasn’t about to die.
“All right, I’ve picked the hardest question in the textbook! Let the game show begin!” The Sphinx pounded on the staircase yet again. “Listen up, motherfuckers! You have 30 seconds to answer the question, starting from the moment I finish asking. Once you finish answering, a red X will appear above my head, and I will eat you. Let’s begin!”
“Ahem!” The Sphinx cleared its throat. “What class of functions is not definable by the ordinary operations of arithmetic and algebra, has infinite derivatives, and surpasses all other functions in less than the time it takes for an incense stick to burn?”
Music began to play. Above the Sphinx, numbers formed from mathforce appeared. 30… 29…
Zhujiao smashed down on a button in front of him. “Zhujiao!”
“What the fuck, Zhujiao!” Shuxue screamed, wetting his pants in despair. “You’ve killed us both!”
“INCORRECT, MOTHAFUCKAS!” The Sphinx licked its lips greedily. “THE ANSWER IS EXPONEN- wait, what?”
A green circle had appeared above its head.
Advertisement
- In Serial8 Chapters
The Burning Rose
Rascal, troublemaker, an annoying brat—those are the nicknames commonly attributed to Mattiaz Rider: an uncontrollable sixteen-year-old brat who grew up in an orphanage, annoying the skin off his caretakers and supervisors. Mattiaz is also a fearless dreamer with a lofty goal. Before he could even spell out his own name, he idolized the people on his TV screen known as 'spiriters'. They were superhumans, capable of impossible feats that young Mattiaz would describe as 'cool' and 'badass'. Of course, the little boy wanted to become like them when he grew up. Despite no one taking Mattiaz's conviction seriously, the incredible happens: Mathiaz awakens spirit, just like his heroes. He is immediately assigned to the New Baymort Spirit Academy in Holy Bay, eager to pursue his newfound dream of winning the famed Spirit Tournament and becoming one of the strongest spiriters ever known. However, soon after he enrolls at the Spirit Academy, Mattiaz learns that not everyone shares his idolized view of spiriters. Prejudice, hostility, and corruption drive a wedge between the spiriters and the citizens of Holy Bay. With his dream now appearing like mere fantasy, he decides to make it a reality himself. The question is: can he do it? -First volume of Individuality series-
8 125 - In Serial20 Chapters
Astrid Vs. The Asteroid
(As of July 29th, book 1 complete. I'm going to take a break to work on other projects before I begin posting Book 2.) An extinction level asteroid is hurtling toward Earth and the only safe place left is in government run bunkers deep underground. A SAFEsite. Seventeen year old Astrid is determined to take her place and protect her family, no matter the cost. Even if it means making a sacrifice she never expected. Her childhood friend, Connor is sweet and nice, and everything a girl should want. He has a place in the SAFEsite, and for the price of marriage, she and her family can join him. But then there’s Shane… The independent firebrand has already caught her heart. But Shane didn’t win a place in the bunkers. He’s determined to survive the impact in a shelter of his own. Connor is the smart choice. The safe choice. But no matter what she does, she can’t get Shane out of her head. With the asteroid closing in and the world falling apart, Astrid has a decision to make. But what if there was a third option? What if Astrid chose to save herself?
8 390 - In Serial10 Chapters
I Shall Prevail
Creatures roam the lands, the skies and the seas. Races from noble elves to stubborn orcs can be seen. Strong prey on the weak since as long as time has been. The gods, giants and titans are no more but urban legends long since forgotten. Here, strength is key, for he with strength can survive and protect his loved ones. "I will grow strong no matter the cost, my sweat, blood, and tears will be the only ones falling, for I, myself, will rise. I won't quit! I won't give up! I will give it my all, I shall Prevail!" - shouted a young boy atop a hill as tears dropped from his eyes, he wasn't going to allow life to hurt him anymore. He would protect his loved ones, he would control his own fate.
8 65 - In Serial26 Chapters
Voidsong (A NaNoWriMo 2018 winner)
Synopsys: The Empire thought humanity died, and forgot all about it. The Empire is mistaken. A Note From the Author: This story was written as a National Novel Writing Month 2018 entrant. As such, its entire 50,000+ word length was written between November 1, 2018 and November 31, 2018. Overall, I would consider this no more than a polished draft. In that vein, the chapters have no names, only numbers. Special thanks to Chronus on youtube for answering my questions on NATO radio procedures! My Apologies to the Finnish Language, which I have abused in (probably) unforgivable ways to create Twisted Empire names. If anyone is interested, break the names up by commas and toss them into your favorite translation program (I used Google Translate, and tried to avoid umlauts and other accents) for some semi bilingual boni. If I got something wrong (and I know I did… somewhere…) let me know over on reddit and I will see what I can do to fix the mistake. Lyrics, where included, are cited in footnotes.
8 153 - In Serial28 Chapters
The Half-Blood Games | Percabeth
Annabeth Chase had a good life in District 3.Her father died in the 52nd Hunger Games, and her mother died giving birth to her. She had to go live with her great-aunt, Hestia, who loved her unconditionally. She really didn't have any friends, but as far as Annabeth was concerned, she didn't need any. All she wanted to do was read and practice her knife-throwing.But everything changed when her name was called at the Reaping.Suddenly, Annabeth only has a few days before she's thrust into an arena, where everyone will try to kill her. To win, Annabeth will have to rely on her most dangerous weapon; her mind.But plans can get a lot more complicated when you add in an unexpected variable; a boy from District 4 who Annabeth is having conflicting feelings for.Let the 69th Hunger Games begin.
8 127 - In Serial30 Chapters
Tulang Dedikado
Tulang aking isinulat upang magbigay inspirasyon sa lahat ng katulad kong tahimik na manunulat.Patuloy susulat sa pamamagitan ng papel at pluma upang ipahiwatig ang aking karanasan at dedikado sa lahat ng mambabasa. Tulang pampamilya, tula sa minamahal, tula sa mga nasaktan o iniwan at tulang pangkalahatan.
8 123

