On a sunny afternoon, I was sitting on my bed and was looking through the window. There was no one in the room except for me, so I allowed myself to hum a melody I liked listening to before I died for the first time. The air around me was very peaceful and the warm light shined through the window I was looking through, time felt slow. I was thinking about how different my life is this time if I were to compare it to my previous life. Here I’m loved and well cared for, I don’t need to fight for my right to live, I don’t need to be on guard every moment and every day in fear and hidden anticipation of my end. Here I have a place I can call home, a place where I without a doubt will find some warmth, where I can simply sit absentmindedly and do nothing. What a blessed life this is. I never had the time to realize it before, but I’m tired. Along with my memories, I also carried over this bone-deep tiredness that’s so strong that sometimes I just can’t muster up the willpower to rise from my bed. And when I think of how tired I am I can’t help but think that she, without a doubt, is just as tired as I am.

That thought is my only motivation to keep going because I can’t leave her alone out there. Not just because she’s done so much for me, no, in the vastness of the universe she is the only one who knows me and whom I know so well. Through the centuries we’ve been through we have grown so much on each other that she is a part of me and I am a part of her. We are one. And when I understand that she’s not with me, I feel such loneliness, as if I have been plunged into an endless abyss. That’s why I’ll not leave her, this home of mine will be our home. So I can’t stop. I swear on both of my names of Aurora Regina Tir'tian and Lavenna Lapress Mehliac, I will find her!

What I have learned of the location of this world is that it’s not situated on the same plane of existence as my previous one and the access between the two of them is possible only through either the Fae Realm or the River of Souls, which is how I got here. I know that nether the Council of Fae nor the Infernal Legions have anything to do with the powers of this planet so this place is relatively safe for us.

I know that the basic rules here are the same as in our previous world. So far I found a few irregularities but the bigger picture is still the same which means that my powers will be effective.

I’ve been planning to take the area of this planet and a bunch of others with sentient races under my control to protect us from the Council and give us some leverage with dealing with the Legions but while my powers have no effect those plans are just that, plans. Naturally, I’m searching for any signs of any other big players with whatever small means I can and so far I found nothing. Perhaps the players here are too weak to act openly? I hope so.

I’ve been trying to contact our agents but so far it yielded no results. My children have their ways and I doubt that the silence will last for long. I created them that way after all. I just hope that they caused enough problems for our pursuers to lose sight of us, especially her. There’s only so much she can do on her on after all.

My soul is slowly but surely being restored, just as I predicted. The parts that are responsible for receiving and emitting mana are already 4% ready. Once it gets around 30% I will evolve spirit sense into mystic eyes. They will be weak, sure, but I’m most familiar with them and once I get them I will be able to use many means of speeding up my recovery.

This world’s magic and technology keep surprising me. A few days ago I saw a doll that had a magical formation on it. It was primitive and wasteful, most circuits could be removed as they only got in the way and for some reason they tried to make the formation fit into a circle with symmetrical geometric patterns, which made it needlessly complicated and had no more reason other than the look of the circuit but to make one when they lack so much of fundamental theory in alchemy is still deserving of praise. I’m seriously considering the ways of influencing the people of this world towards the path of the magical advancement but without a proper picture of the world’s culture and views, I can’t say anything concrete. I miss my spy network.

I don’t possess a lot of knowledge on the society of Terb and the role of the Mehliac house in it but as the sole heir of the family (and I think the gender doesn’t play that big of a role in Terb, so I am considered the heir) I probably have many responsibilities. I dread the day they try to speak about an arranged marriage for me. I hope I’ll have my powers back by then so I’ll be able to stand my ground, though admittedly having a person of my supposed magical talent in the bloodline is probably desirable by many. I won’t be surprised if I’ll have my first marriage interview in a week, though I hope that my mother’s willful character will not let her let anybody close to me, at least until I can shove their opinions and plans back up their asses. Stay strong until then, Mom!

My progress with spells channelled through my body is remarkable, but when I remember the ease and precision of using soul’s magic arrays with which casting was as natural as flexing a muscle, I want to crawl on the wall in anguish. Though I have been making good progress on qi cultivation, so my body as it is now will be able to take a swing of a sabre or two. Qi surely is more of the kind of energy the body profits from. Though with no proper breathing techniques I practically have to push each little portion of qi through my yet underdeveloped meridians on my own. It takes a lot of concentration.

But I don’t have much more to do. Surely, once I’m old enough to read, even though I have picked up the written language rules already, I will make more sense out of the things around me. But now, I can only wait and do my best.