《[Second Saga]》Changes
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So this is just a little message to show you guys how I plan on changing the story when I re-edit it. This also includes derps I forgot to mention about that probably should have been done. Let me know what you think for these plans by making a comment~!
Re-edited version:
-Cutting the Core gamer. Instead Landon will join the game because his parents left behind a console for him. However he will still have to make enough money to pay for rent, food etc. Thus still a Core gamer however the purpose changes
- Cutting Orphanage. Azla, and Lisa will become girls that are going to school and notice Landon working hard despite his young age, thus they follow him and look up to his hard working attitude. When they hear that Landon starts playing [Second Saga] they beg their parents to let them join as well. Possible will start working at the old mans shop to pay for the monthly subscription.
-Will add a volume (or at least 10 more chapters) in between when Hydra meets the [Shadow Lurkers] to create a better bond between them. This will also show the [Shadow Lurkers] their weakpoint in utilizing their physical strengths over their ability to play RPGS. (Will still leave by the end of the volume. This means that the Kidnapping quest will not become 24 hours and instead will turn into a week or more.)
-May or may not cut the [Guardian] Idea until Pan is able to effectively use it at lvl 50. This is something I'm still considering and opinions are more than welcomed on this.
-Focusing more on the world at the beginning, using more descriptive paragraphs to properly show a beautiful world.
-Attempting to differentiate between female characters more. Although I feel they all have their differences, some of them have similarities that I would like to spread out.
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-Creating a more known intimacy menu/window that will change when relationships improve OR taking intimacy out completely.
-Plan on explaining more about the game. hub, classes, Rune magic, and other things more.
Overall this is an attempt to improve my story, as I know the biggest problem is my grammar please forgive me once again, as I do not have an editor or a proofreader. If you have any ideas that you think could improve my story more for when I re-edit it let me know!
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