Chapter 29 - Felli’s Trouble

In the past days, Felli only had reliefs and headaches. Relief that she got a visit from the person she yearns for. Who then turn out to be only visiting her employee, it didn’t please Felli at all. She thought he was just finding an excuse but even though the person Felli yearn for spent some time on the Inn only to disregard her totally. Not even one her single advances work on the guy. And it is not like she doesn’t have any sex appeal. Felli thinks that he is just too focused on one woman.

After he left the Inn and head to Gayan City, Felli who was irritated enough decided to finally hire a new waitress. The waitress is a diligent worker and she was thankful that there is someone she can actually talk without needing for any gestures or actions to communicate. Felli doesn’t dislike Ramiel. She just is irritated by the rather uselessness of the boy. She finds Ramiel as someone who is spoiled. It is like despite being a beggar, he seems to be someone who was raised in a safe environment. He isn’t a person who is used to work.

Felli thought he was some abandoned noble. But she didn’t feel the noblesse oblige on him. He wasn’t haughty nor does he have the temperance of someone born of the higher class, because if Ramiel was someone from a noble line, then he wouldn’t have lived with such disgrace of begging in the streets. No noble, at least on Felli’s mind, would live in such dishonor without taking their life.

She really wondered which land he is from. But since he wasn’t able to speak, there was nothing Fell can do but wonder. There would be a time that Felli would ask. But since he can’t speak the language, Felli would have to wait for a long time.

But anyway, despite all of her curiosity towards Ramiel’s origins, Felli sometimes noticed a certain aspect on Ramiel. There is this dumbfounded expression on Ramiel or his mannerism of staring blankly into the air, daydreaming while working and using his finger to tap on his front teeth. Felli thinks it’s weird how he would just stare a thousand yards away. Felli really didn’t like that stare and wish he would stop doing that.

Felli felt that there is a mystery over Ramiel. She feels like he is someone who is very different to the people she knows. To Felli, Ramiel is a person who is incompatible with the world. Where did he come from, what is his real thoughts, what does he want to say. Felli is curious to all of those, but other than that, Ramiel is a troublesome person.

Anyway despite Ramiel being both curious and troublesome, Felli doesn’t really care much. She started the whole Inn thing because she really wanted to retire traveling. But who knows that when she quits traveling, she would have to look over some weird foreigner.

She established the Orient Inn with the reason that she wants to retire. The second reason is that she wants a haven for the person she worries the most in the world. That is why despite the person she worries the most being strong. She thinks that someday, he might just give up and stop fighting.

She wishes that ‘he’ would stop fighting. Felli always tells him to abandon it all. But in the end, the one she yearns for is just too stubborn to do so. He was always walking the path of blood, always stepping on a hill of corpses just to protect someone who abandoned him in the first place. Felli could not bear the idea of seeing him again being bathed in blood. Or see arrows sticking on his back.

He is strong enough to take on armies. He is strong enough to be someone, who can be called as the deathbringer, the reaper, and the Carnifex. Felli saw him slaughter the middle center armies without falling down. She saw how he managed to stain a desert with blood, and how he made a river of corpses within a day of fighting an endless horde of armored soldiers.

Felli thinks that there is only a few who can kill him. But even so, when she sees the look on his face, which just looks so tired and weary makes Felli more eager to convince him to lay his sword down and stop. But she isn’t delusional enough that he would so soon, and it troubles her greatly.

She always wonders when he would stop fighting for someone who doesn’t even look at him in the eye. She hated the one who he is fighting for. Even though she rules the land she is living. Felli thinks that if she sees her ever again, she would not be able to contain the rage in her heart and slapped her. She wouldn’t even care if she gets put in prison for slapping a matriarch. She just doesn’t think that it is fair for the one she yearns for to be ignored.

Not even a single thank you for his work. Not even a single glance, and not even a single care for the suffering he has gotten.

The two are foolish. Felli believes that greatly and if she can just somehow grab the two’s head and make them somehow talk to each other. Felli would be glad and relieved. If it makes the one she yearns for happy, then she would do it.

She never really cared for anyone this much. And if she somehow managed to make him happy, she would be satisfied. And even maybe finally give up and find peace in her heart.

The giving up part would make Felli drink alcohol for the rest of her life though.

There is a lingering wish and a vision in her heart that Felli constantly dreams. And in all the troubles she has in the world, that dream is the most troublesome to her. Simply because it is a dream that she holds in her heart, a dream, that a part of her tells that is just impossible to happen.

So for the third reason why she established the Orient Inn. Is simply because of a wanting ease the heartache of that seemingly impossible dream.

And being busy and irritated really helps.