Chapter 124 – An excuse

The local guards and the others returned back the village of Sardis safely. Along the way, there was someone who changed a lot. With this change, the mood of the group turned for the better. The ever so bitter and cynical Ramiel turned a bit cheerful.

At first, Abby thought he was a grumpy bearded guy, but now that he is less moody he became a better person in her eyes. Raul also thought Ramiel was this weird guy who was quite mysterious, in fact, the only thing he knew about Ramiel is that he somehow arrive in the village just because.

As for Peronell, she initially thought that Ramiel was a depressing asshole. She in fact quite dislikes him, but she misunderstood greatly when she heard that he might have escaped from Lugenstan because he suffered misfortune. She also knew of the curse he was supposedly branded at, which explained his rough appearance.

Peronell has seen worse in the dungeon continent, heck most of the time she spends time on the floors of the dungeon continent, she wasn’t able to take a bath, sleep, or even care about her appearance with her life in life. So she didn’t really mind Ramiel’s rough appearance, it was normal for her to see such unruly look.

But lately, Ramiel’s complexion was better. He isn’t malnourished, and he is pretty much back to his average look due to all of the nutrition he got when living leisurely at Lugenstan, reaping the benefits he got from the guild. His deathly pale skin also got better when he started going out, basking in the sun healing the local guards. His limping was getting better, and the swelling on his throat was getting better. It wasn’t really visible either.

Ramiel had the typical look of a Scandinavian man. He was rather tall here despite in his own world, his height was just average. Ramiel had an average face, neither ugly nor handsome. So despite that, he wasn’t someone one would look at and avoid.

Ramiel had broad shouders, and even though he was originally thin at best, the days he spent being insane, doing all sort of activities despite being sick and curse made him toned up a bit. He still isn’t strong, but still, he has regained the strength he had before he got transported in. He was your average high schooler, he graduated at the time he was seventeen, and he spent five years in seclusion inside his room.

At most, Ramiel already spent at least three years now in this world. If people from his world would see him, they would think he got into a boot camp and was thrown into some Middle Eastern conflict. Ramiel changed a lot, and the harshness of this world hardened him, at least to the point that he got used to all the killing.

Ramiel still has his fear of death. In fact, that drive made him able to survive along with the help of his cowardly nature. He still hasn’t changed his thinking, but at least for now he has a ray of hope that makes him cling to this world.

...

Ramiel arrived on his house holding himself up. Seeing the carpet, the table and the walls that are getting familiar to him, Ramiel took a sit in the place where he usually drinks and stayed idled at the table. He was listless for a moment, but then the words he said towards Peronell made him put his palm over his face.

Embarrassing, that’s what Ramiel is thinking. He was really not that great mid, and now he that he is able to think clearly and alone, he felt rather awkward. He didn’t expect it himself that he will be able to say those words. Maybe it was the just a spur of the moment, but even so, it was still awkward.

He doesn’t even know what Peronell thinks of him. In his mind, his attitude, his whole treatment of her in the past days was quite harsh. He wasn’t really being a good person, and with Ramiel being uncaring, he made those snarky and smug comments by instincts.

So him suggesting that he has feelings for Peronell felt like it was out of nowhere and awkward. He can’t get over it, and he wanted to die just by remembering it!

He pulled his long hair whitish hair in frustration, he droopily laid his chin on the table, as he then stares at his hands. Ramiel stared at his hands for a while before touching his beard it was rather grown, quite itchy too. So knowing this, Ramiel felt like he wanted to shave, he wasn’t really fond of beards, never cared for it and he preferred to only have stubbles.

He already said those words to Peronell, and even though he felt like he has no chance to win over such a beautiful girl. Ramiel still decided to Leeroy it and started shaving his overgrown beard. It took him a bit time, and although using his hidden blade as a razor was quite hard, Ramiel feels like he succeeded, though with a few scratch.

Ramiel also thought of his hair, it has grown shoulder length. He felt that it was quite unruly, so he decided to tie it up with a string. Ramiel then proceeded to smell himself. Oddly he wasn’t that smelly, he was quite okay in the hygiene department since the thought of taking a bath at least in every two days didn’t leave him.

Ramiel thought that he should at least look better. He felt that he wouldn’t impress someone with the way he is, and who knows if he even has a chance? That is why with such a weary unconfident smile, Ramiel thought that he might as well break his fragile heart.

If he fails then that’s it, in fact, there was an unusual idea on his head. If by some miracle he wins over Peronell, he would just get over it and continue on as listless as ever. And if he somehow wins her over...Ramiel has no idea if that will ever happen.

In fact, his pessimistic and cynical mindset made him already thought of not being able to do so. But in any case, Ramiel found something that he wanted to have.

Or at least that is what he tries to think, in reality, he just wants to have an excuse to keep himself alive, and adoring someone can be a good excuse...