Chapter 168 – Journal Entry 18: Gigantes Beast

I feel like the world twisted before me. Being told that the peace I felt was nothing but a façade made me contemplate on my initial impression of this world. At first, I thought that this was a peaceful world but now I think it is cursed.

This world is at the eleventh hour and sooner or the end will happen. Everyone just looks happy because they are trying to do their best until the end. As if afraid that they would live to regret it, not making the best of what borrowed time they have.

I have no idea what to think about all of this. Without any memories, I could not feel anything. I have nothing to think about and nothing to lose too. It makes me wonder what my life was before I somehow find myself in a cemetery without any memories.

I hate it actually, being unable to remember the memories of mine. I feel like it is a sick curse that was just thrown at me by some playful demoness. Ah, I could only smile wearily at this pathetic ‘depression’ that somehow sprouted in my heart. I feel the coldness of the deck floor. It somehow cools my head but it doesn’t stop my heart from aching.

What was I before I lost my memories?

What did I do before I lost my memories?

Did I belong to this world?

Where did I come from?

How did I come here in this world that I don’t clearly know?

It bothers me. It truly bothers me that I could feel my heart tightened. My eyes feel like it would tear up. A sense of longing, a sense of sadness and a feeling emptiness comes inside me. It weakens me, and no matter what I do I just could not remember anything that would allow me to remember.

Yet, somehow I felt holding a small yet rough hand. It was such a natural feeling. It felt like it had no meaning yet it was something I cherished. Touching that hand, and that hand’s owner thinking nothing but nice for me. Somehow when I think about such small yet rough hand, it made me think that somehow I thought the world was in our hands, waiting for us, but obviously we were wrong.

I can’t leave that hand somehow. And even though the small memories of mine, the hand, the feeling of holding that made me unable to let go of it. It pains me, that when I left that hand, that hand, turned big, scarred, rougher than usual as it bathes in blood.

I felt helplessness as I see that memory. As if that memory was far too long. I fought just to hold that hand, dragging it along with me wherever I go. I wanted to know more about that memory, the owner of that hand, which somehow makes me feel this way.

Obsession, single-mindedness, determination, focus, commitment, volition and unbending will sparked on my heart. The feeling was natural, but even so, suddenly it all disappeared when I felt like shadows were casted upon me. Sitting up, I looked at the distance and saw a giant red scaled monster, slowly rising up from the sea. This monster was as tall as a twenty-floor concrete building. It was as width as a small park and its claws were as long as a typical lighthouse.

This monster that appeared was like any other monster I have seen. It was gigantic, and the way it opens its mouth, opening its eyes as it stares at the open sea made me want to run for my life. All around me was an ocean, and seeing this beast, the first thing that came up to me was to run to Elena.

“ELENA THERE IS A GIANT BEAST”

“Wow, it’s like I couldn’t see that at all!”

Elena giggled nonchalantly despite the beast starting to walk in our direction.

“ELENA THIS IS NOT TIME FOR GAMES. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?”

“Relax?”

“Relax!?”

I shouted in panic. I have no fear at all. But I worry more about swimming in open water, trying to dodge the gigantic thing and its foot. I shake Elena, who’s keeping a smile. She patted my shoulders and then told me.

“Relax it is just a Gigantes Beast. It should fine.”

“And how do you propose that we are to be fine? Is the boat equipped with something that allows us to bypass this kind of threats without any problem?”

“Not really, just look around, it is a simply golem cored, steam powered ship. Other than the items in the storage crates that contain boxes of supplies, there is nothing else, so no?”

“Ah, we are doom.”

“Gee, I said just relax okay?”

I tapped my forehead. I feel an ache as I try to calm my mind down. I looked at Elena’s calm face, her curl up mouth, her hand on her waist, and that raised up small bust of hers, makes me think that she has something in her that allows her to be this confident.

“Okay, I trust you small hilled Elena. So spit it out before my heart explodes.”

“I feel like you just insulted me. Did you just insult me? Didn’t you?”

Somehow Elena got my subtle insult. She seems sensitive with her chest its disappointing weight, and size. Maybe, I shouldn’t have said that?’

“That pitying look on you pisses me off. Fine then, just watch in that corner.”

“Hmm?”

I turned my head to where her finger is pointing. At that location, I could see a fist made of rock, extending out of the deep sea, as it pummels towards the head of the giant Gigantes beast! An arm followed, and a head, a helmet like Golem head made of rock, that followed with the torso of the giant golem, that was about as tall and as big as the Gigantes monster.

“Let me introduce you to one of the many protectors of Fernery Island, a Ymir giant!”

Elena spread her arms as she proudly says that. The giant rock golem, who was facing the red Gigantes beast then readied its arm, ready for battle.