he's not dead, just sleeping at the top of the hill

mourning someone that was never real

all you could do was let out a broken cry

you begged to the sky, "it wasn't supposed to be this way"

they're somewhere else now

or are they?

see that's the problem with fake and the unreal

they may have moved on, or perhaps they're still on that first day, walking into the deepest darkest days of their lives

perhaps they're laying in bed with their lover

perhaps they're doing everything at the same time, living and dying at the same time

but you'll never be sure

because they were never actually there

like the man you swore you drove by at the crossroads

he was never there, and your imagined romance was not something he could recall

but that doesn't mean you weren't real

doesn't mean your chest and heart beating with fury and sadness and heartbreak and love were never real

you just have to move on, pick up your bags and carry on

take the next train and remember to say goodbye

that's the way life is

(March 2021)