《Leslie's Poems》earring
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found something shiny on the concrete
laying there the other day
a little rose-gold teardrop, hole in it
looked faded a bit, had to have been laying there many days
i carry shiny things, little magpie in my chest
told me since i was a child to pick up these things and hoard it in a nest
pretty thing, yet something else i craved
wonder about the girl with one earring
"would she know my name?"
would she want to, would she know, about me finding her glass slipper?
"want to be a prince," i fancied
come take my hand, and let me put this back with you
can't do that though, already in love with my own
prince or princess no one really knows
"a passing thought," i realized, "an impulse to dive into the unknown."
sun glinted off the earring, shiny as it could be
so i tossed it in the man-made lake, stagnant waters pulsing man-made waves
because fantasies are not for me, my life, and dreams don't come my way
never liked to dream about things
that could be real,
because then you ignore reality
ignore what you already have, and ungrateful your mother calls
no, i did not throw the shoe in the lake,
i held tightly onto it, but not for my princely dreams
held onto it so i could fall back into disarray
hide behind a screen, husband lost and life unseen
wake in a prison cell and watch the world lose their king
house burning down in a blizzard, empty home with all but one
not healthy im sure but no one told me that yet
wonder if they ever will? but for some reason, if i told someone i held this princely dream, if i hold this earring close to my chest
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they'd call it unhealthy
yet the world i hide in where i watched heroes fall and man scorches the earth
no one but the hateful calls it unhealthy
I don't know how to feel. I love my love, and I love these secret worlds to hide in and be someone else
but i crave another dream all the same
so i took the earring, tucked it into my pocket
shiny thing hiding there, little secret dream like the rest
"one day ill understand why i feel this way," i thought to myself.
"one day."
(November 2021)
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