Confession is good for the soul, but not for Declan

Declan stared at the assembled Sarahs. Each was beautiful in their own way; so similar and yet so different from his own beloved Sarah that he could not believe that they were basically the same person. He admired them. Each was so strong; they were all fighters and had far more courage than he did. Second Sarah sat in the front center of the group. She’d somehow already become the de-facto leader and spokesperson for them. To her immediate right sat Crowe, and beside her was the centaur; who had the vampire sitting on her back in an old ladylike manner. To Second Sarah’s left was Essea who had a half-cocked smile on her face as she looked at Rah, was filing her nails. Sarah the vegan had separated herself from the group and was sitting about ten feet from them. Each of the girls had a large cup of coffee in their hands that was emblazoned with the Bucky Starr logo from their own world on it.

His stomach had been doing flip flops ever since he’d decided to convene this council. There were things that needed discussing, and he did not want to put them off. The first item on the table was the fact that he was the destroyer of their worlds. Then they would get into all of the other issues. If there was time. He suspected that they were going to be discussing that first item for some time in the foreseeable future.

If they ever made it passed that first hurdle then he would inform them of his decision to rebuild their people and societies on Terra Sarah. He wanted to make independent states that ultimately capitulated to him when absolutely necessary. He had no desire to become king of the planet of Jurassiced species. The ones brought back from the dead via the recoding of DNA. He wanted free people who would need and want for nothing, whose sole purpose would be to better the world they all lived on.

He looked at all of them sitting in the amphitheater-styled room Mother had constructed for them mere hours before. It was not open air, but he wanted a place in which all of the Sarahs could have a say in how their world was going to be run. He envisioned a Roman Senate-style of speaking and this design fit. It amazed him. They had all just been through complete and utter hell in a span of time that was far less than a day, and they all sat there seemingly unaffected by their ordeals. No one mentioned the loss of loved ones, no one said a word about surviving an apocalypse. The vampire never once mentioned the cultists that almost killed her to the others, and Crowe, well Crowe would be hard to follow at the best of times. Vegan Sarah, ugh, she had already separated herself from the giggle of other girls. Their fortitude was unbelievable.

Declan gulped and stepped forward. “Ladies, I have asked you all here today so that we might discuss some things, set some ground rules, and get to know one another a little bit better.” He stopped. In his experience, it was right after making a statement like that someone always interrupted with a question. None of them moved.

“Ok. If you don’t have any questions,” he paused, hoping that one of them might say something that would delay him having to come clean right at this moment. Naturally, none of them said anything so he resumed his speech, “There is something that I want you to know. It is about me, and it will most likely make you very . . . upset.” Again, he scanned their faces and saw nothing out of place. They showed no sign of concern.

Dammit, he thought, just rip the band-aid off and get it over with. “I did save each of you. Some of you,” and he looked at Crowe and the vampire, “a little more than the others. But if I had not intervened you would all be dead right now.” The girls nodded, some sipped their coffee. Crowe eyed him with the admiration of a child, and the vampire looked at him like he was one big neck ready to be bitten. Second Sarah was the only one that looked bored.

“What you might not know is that I was the one who destroyed your worlds.” He braced himself for them to shout at him or charge him, hell, he half expected Crowe to draw on him. That was her de facto move, but they all still bore the same looks as before. There was something very strange going on. “Did you hear me? I destroyed your worlds. Wiped them out. Killed everybody.” A few of them nodded, but there was still almost no reaction.

Second Sarah stood up and blew a bubble. After it popped she sucked it back into her mouth and gave it a few frantic chews. “Look, Deck, we all know this and we’re all cool with it. Right, girls?” She looked to either side of her shoulders and noted that they were all nodding their agreement. “Mother clued us all in on what happened and why when she put that Hnet thingy in our heads.” She tapped her temple with a black polished nail. “We all know that you didn’t have any choice in the matter and that this isn’t something that you like to do or even want to do.” She plopped back down onto the bench beneath her bum, “Why would we hold that against you?”

Declan was dumbfounded. Just because they knew why he did what he did didn’t mean they would understand or even accept his actions. No. There was more to it than what it seemed. He went to put his finger to his temple so that he could communicate with Mother directly, when it struck him that Mother had manipulated them. She had rewritten memories or used psychological techniques, meds, endorphins, or any combination thereof in order to secure their compliance.

He wondered if she had done that to him. Had he had any recent change of mind that he could think of? Nothing jumped out at him, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that if Mother would manipulate them that she wouldn’t do the same to him. He had to play this smart. He knew that she was watching him and that if he didn’t do things right he would be the next one to get his brains scrambled. So, he smiled and said, “That’s great! I’m glad to hear that you are all on board with this and behind me one hundred percent.”

He then segued from his big announcement into the way that he hoped life would be on Sarah Terra. From there real disagreements and voices came out, and personalities clashed. That helped him confirm that Mother had altered them in some way since they could not agree on anything else. The meeting went on for several hours. They all broke for a half an hour, and when they returned he had queued up the Princess Bride for them all to watch. He had plenty of popcorn, coffee, and handkerchiefs prepared for all of them. An hour and forty minutes later and every one of them was quoting lines and imitating characters. The best part of the entire thing was that he sat beside Second Sarah, and she had laid her head on his shoulder. Crowe had held his hand, while the vampiric version of Sarah had sat between his legs, her arms wrapped around his calves as she watched.

He had set it up with Mother ahead of time that they would perceive the film in a way that each girl got to experience the movie as if it had been made on their world. Essea, for example, saw a cybernetic setting, Crowe watched a post-apocalyptic version, and Sarahtaur (Hmm, he liked that appellation, he’d have to start calling her that) watched centaurs play out the scenes. It was nothing for Mother to let them see things that way, and that was why he had no doubt that Mother was playing brain games. The only thing he couldn’t figure out was why she would do that. That was something he’d have to think about, and he would talk to Kristine about it the next time that they got cut off from Mother’s connection once more.

Once the movie was over, and everyone had their fun they were free to do whatever they wanted, and most of them left. Second Sarah gave him a hug as tears ran down her face.

“I get it, Deck. I really do. I wish that there was someone who loved me as much as you loved her.” She turned away from him and walked away with a strange sad little smile on her face. Deck waited and watched her go. She deserved her space, and he would not pursue her. He was just getting to know this Sarah, but he could already tell that she was a nice girl. That was something he would think about later. He had plans to meet with Mother and Kristine and run simulations so that when the time came he would be much better prepared.

He ordered the lights out, and then wiped a tear from his own eye. The movie had gotten to him as well. He might be the bringer of death for untold worlds, but he was still human. He had feelings. He was sensitive. Satisfied that his face was dry and that he was no longer teary eyed he left the amphitheater. He didn’t notice that Sarah the Vegan was still in her seat, that she was crying, or that she looked at him forlornly. She had already laid her heart at his feet and he hadn’t even tripped over it as he left. She consoled herself by eating a carrot in the dark.