It has been just a little over two weeks and one day since he was “reborn” with a new body.

His beautiful, fit, healthy body.

He might have been enjoying it, just a little bit.

Maybe.

Singing songs with his beautiful voice, for once NOT sounding like a baboon in heat.

Smiling with his perfect teeth, completely free of cavities.

Dancing with his lighter body, with no unpleasant jiggling fat.

Stretching his muscles, with no aches or sudden pain for doing so.

He didn’t gasp for breath like a hippo pretending to be a locomotive anymore.

He didn’t pour out half his body weight in sweat anymore.

His body was perfect.

He was constantly moving it this whole time, constantly striving for more and more elegance in his movements, because…

Well, because.

His body was perfect.

HELLO WORLD!

He was noticing this new world with all of his senses, each one far superior to what he had before.

It wasn’t just a matter of survival though.

He could see both further and closer than ever before.

The furthest tree, the smallest insect.

He could hear wind blowing fallen leaves across a meadow in the distance, or pick out a single bird’s song from the entire forest.

Occasionally the creature in the tree wasn’t a bird at all, feeding his delight in the new.

Is this how real elves see the world?

Is this why they’re always portrayed as being REALLY close to nature?

He kept thinking such things.

Okay, so he might have been enjoying his new body more than he would casually admit.

Maybe.

He would have liked some shoes, but not once did he step on a rock (or anything else, for that matter) sharp enough to draw blood.

He just didn’t like having cold feet.

Although it had been gotten to the point where he could see his own breath, he had not once shivered.

His erect nipples did start to chafe a little from constantly rubbing against the white dress, though.

Nothing that a Holy Light couldn’t cure, but still it was a little annoying.

Being cold is annoying.

But right now, he was quite warm.

He wasn’t drowsy, but honestly? He just wanted to stretch out and laze on the cot.

Bowen Village’s jail cells are… surprisingly nice.

The straw was clean and even the privy bucket was emptied beforehand.

“OOH, she’s so PRETTY!”

Of course it was entirely possible he was receiving the jail’s “VIP treatment”.

“I want to hug her!”

Only two cockroaches, and they were hiding.

“I wanna tickle those ears!”

Zero mice.

“What beautiful eyes she has!”

Perhaps because of all the cats.

“Hey, would you like some cookies? They’re fresh and tasty!”

-- And zero privacy.

Don’t you women have jobs to do?

“OH SHUT UP! HE’S A BOY, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!”

-- And Heinrick Ellis, who apparently hated him now, in the cell next to his.

Why?

…

…

“NO WAY!”

Why does he hate the one who saved his life so many times?

He hadn’t had the time (or the quiet) to ask.

“He walks like a boy, he sits like a boy, and he saw me pee. You can’t fake that reaction.”

However… He DID have time for this:

HEALZ PLEAZE

Level 2 Medic (Cleric / Alchemist)

Elf (High Elf)

Female(?)

Strength: 25

Dexterity: 62

Constitution: 31

Endurance: 52

Mind: 77

Spirit: 72

Charm: 77

Luck: 61

Health: 62 / 62

Mana: 154 / 154

Experience: 573 (1500)

Unused Stat Points: 5

Advantages:

Adorable: You are just too cute! +10 to First Encounters with humanoids.

Beautiful: You turn heads. +10 to First Encounters with humanoids.

Transvestite: You’re a WHAT? Random +/- modifier to all First Encounters based on Charm bonus.

Virgin: You are pure and unspoiled. +10 to First Encounters with unicorns, good dragons, and followers of Good Religions.

Disadvantages:

Adorable: You are just too cute! -20 to Intimidate.

Beautiful: You turn heads. -20 to Stealth.

Transvestite: You’re a WHAT? Humanoids must reroll First Encounter upon discovering your true sex.

Virgin: You are pure and unspoiled. +30 to First Encounters with vampires, evil dragons, and followers of Evil Cults.

It looks like everything except Strength got a little boost from the level up.

“…Well now I have something ELSE I wanna tickle!”

Let’s see… There’s the bonus for being an elf, and for having the cleric and alchemist classes.

“ROBIN EVANS! Well I never!”

I guess being a cleric is more about enduring and rallying the masses than strength at arms, huh?

“What? Are you saying you DON’T want to slide your hand up that dress, KNOWING what’s there…?”

So should I put points into Strength, so I can carry more?

“…”

Well, logically one should always put points into health to maximize survivability,ESPECIALLY if you’re stuck on an alien world…

“… I… I didn’t say that…”

Speaking of which, I still need to figure out where to put my new skill points...

“Whoa, look at Hilda blush!”

WAIT, ‘TRANSVESTITE’???

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The entire party had been arrested by the guards.

Apparently, it is considered somewhat rude to suddenly appear out of nowhere from inside a brightly glowing pyramid into the middle of town during the crack of dawn.

Who knew?

Shiela Ellis tightly held her backpack to her chest as the guards escorted her to the tower section of the nipplefort.

Someone needed to explain things to Lord Bowen once he woke up, and since she was a real Wizard’s Guild member with a real Wizard’s Guild badge AND she had been quick to work out that this was Bowen Village she had demanded to speak with him as soon as the guards surrounded them.

She had a little something for him.

She also had something to talk to him about.

Something that had come up while she was holding the goblins in thrall.

And Lord Bowen had damn well better tell her about what he knew about it as well.

Oh, and apparently there was ‘Many, many, many, MANY bad’ and ‘Death’ coming.

That might be important too.

At least, that’s what the not-an-elf BOY said.

Damn, what a long day it’s been… and it’s still morning...

She sighed again, her breath puffing out as white vapor in the cold air.

I REALLY need a nap.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lord Blake Bowen waited patiently for the servants to finish dressing him before he went downstairs.

There was some odd news about a mysterious pyramid of light, and what must be the return of the elf boy.

At least, he hoped it was the elf boy. This one was apparently dressed like a girl.

They were being held in the jail.

That’s… not good.

If the elf is part of the Event coming (or worse, IS the Event), then antagonizing him is the WORST possible thing to do. Stories have been written about unwise it is to try to ignore Fate.

History has been written about how unwise it to try to fight it.

Daniel Bowen would probably agree, if only for the fiscal reasons.

Apparently the boy could create gold coins out of thin air.

Sister Teresa was already up, but she looked terrible. She apologized for her appearance, saying that something in the air due to the change of season was likely giving her a headache, and nausea.

Pregnancy?

He… sincerely didn’t want that.

To be fair, Sister Teresa is the only cleric available to him, to the village, and there are far more advantages to having her around, (even as… odd… as she is) than having no cleric at all.

Her becoming pregnant with a child or two would tie her down, and require her to stay longer.

But she was seeing Mike Evans.

Mike Evans liked the ladies, and he liked to drink.

Even if Mike chose the honorable route and married her, he had seen far too many families, his own included, torn apart when one or more parents suffered from alcoholism.

Sister Teresa was a good person.

He wouldn’t wish such a life on her even if it would improve the security of his village.

It also didn’t help that Mike Evans was nowhere to be seen, presumably sleeping off yet another night’s drinking.

*WHAM!*

Sudden pressure forced him to his knees as sunlight unexpectedly blasted into the church, turning the chilly air completely toasty in a second.

He could barely tell that Teresa was also kneeling nearby.

HEAR MY WORDS,

AND KNOW THEM TO BE TRUE!

The two were forced by some instinct to bow their heads, as the glowing statue of the Goddess Ilya, the Goddess of Life and Sunlight, lifted itself gently into the air.

"And now for the weather: We'll have scattered showers and bright patches of GODDESS ILYA coming in early this morning..."