I packed my things and went outside of the palace.

-ugh. I couldn’t breathe there. I could punch both of them in face.

I wasn’t even paying attention to the way. The weather was sunny but I was gloomy more than any other days. I saw somewhere covered with pink flowers. I thought maybe there would be a seat. It was very beautiful that I could look at it for hours.

-I've never seen this place before. It's like heaven.

I sat next to the flowers and opened my book. I couldn’t focus on my book so I sat there staring around.

-oh so cute!

A squirrel passed by. I followed the squirrel without any reason. It went through a door thing.

-what is it?

I went in too. It was like a tiny room covered with ivies.

-wow interesting!

The squirrel jumped around then left the room.

-thanks for entertaining me. I will come here again. I like it.

I also left the room.

-am I crazy? What's going on?

I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing. The forest was different.

-was there another door?

I entered the room again. There wasn’t another door there.

-I must be insane! It's because of the depression. It's delusion!

I ran everywhere but everything was different. I felt something sharp on my back.

-who are you? How did you get here?

Oh thank God. I'm not alone here. I turned around.

-well I should ask that! drop your dagger. I'm lost.

-no one can come here except some special people.

-so maybe I'm special too.

She stared at me.

-I think you're telling the truth.

-of course!

-you look stupid. Perhaps you don’t know anything about here.

-thanks for calling me stupid. Now tell me where am I?

-you don’t need to know anything. Just go back in the room. you'll go wherever you were before.

-I tried but nothing happened.

She stayed silent for a second.

-then you need to stay here. We'll come back here tomorrow.

-but my parents will be worried.

Only my parents. Charles will be so happy to hear that I'm lost.

-time is slower in your world.

-what do you mean? I'm confused.

-every 24 hour here is equal with 1 hour in you world.

-Huh! You're joking, aren’t you?

-no I'm not.

-what do you mean by "your world"?

-you're in another part of world. A hidden part. People with grief usually find this world. Some of them are very cautious so they don't search mysterious places. I mean they're very close to the door but they don’t see it.

-and some of them find the door like me.

-that’s right.

-but why they don’t tell anyone about this place?

-follow me for now.

We went to her house. I don’t know why but I trust her. She talked about her world all the way to her house and I stared with my mouth open.

-people come here to fix something. Once they fix it, they promise to not tell anyone. if they tell, the problem will be back stronger and worse than before.

-but if we can fix problems here, then why there's lots of problems in my world?

-I told you before. Some special people can come here.

-so who are the special people?

-the ones who helped many people in their past life and current life.

-past life!? I knew it! I've read a book about past life but many people say it's fake.

-it is real. Every person has three lives.

-it seems like you always read books.

-yes I do. I just mind my own business. I read books and stare at nature. It's boring for others but I enjoy it.

-you're a nice person. You're gifted.

-can you tell me about my past life? Do you know it?

-I know but I can't tell you.

-oh please!

She hesitated and said:

-alright! I'll tell a tiny part of it.

-thank you!

-you were a teacher in an orphanage.

-oh how sweet! Could you please tell me how I died?

-I don’t know why am I telling you these things.

-sorry I was just curious.

I asked too much. We were silent for minutes.

-you wanted to help a kid. He survived but you died.

-why?!

-he was very shy so he wouldn’t play with others. Everyone was in the yard except him. The fire started from kitchen. No one noticed it. After minutes the whole house was burning. You went in to help him and you did. But you died after a few days because you were injured.

-I bet I loved the kid so much.

-yes you did.

A little house was next to the river. It was like fairies house. Magical and tiny.

-hello grandma!

-oh honey there you are. Do we have a new guest?

-yes we have.

-it's a pleasure to meet you.

-you look like someone, young lady. Come closer.

I approached her. She stared at me with her glasses.

-forget it grandma. She doesn’t look like anyone.

-she looks like the mad woman!

-excuse me? who?

-NO! you're wrong grandma.

She was obviously nervous. She was trying to hide something.

-lets go Caroline. We got things to do!

I was more confused than before. I sat on an old chair in the house.

-your house is nice. Full of flowers just the way I like.

-you have a garden full of flowers in your palace too.

-how do you know that?

-um… I know a few things about my guests.

-oh I didn’t even ask your name.

-you can call me Rose.

Someone came in. a boy with blonde hair, light brown eyes and a sharp nose. He was so tall that he could touch the ceiling. The ceiling is low too but he was taller than normal men.

-oh rose. Where have you been?

He didn’t even saw me and hugged rose right away.

-hi John. My little dear brother.

How sweet! They're sibling!

-I almost forgot! We have a guest John!

I stared and smiled.

-uh… welcome our new guest, I don’t know your name sorry.

-I'm Caroline.

-glad to meet you Caroline.

He looked at me for a second with confusion.

-she looks like…

-no you're wrong! She doesn’t look like anyone.

He was shocked. Rose looked a bit angry. Who is that woman? Why they call her "mad"?

-could you please show the forest to Caroline? I need to do something. I'm busy now.

-no problem.

It was somehow awkward but I wanted to see everywhere. I followed silently and he explained the stories behind everything.

-can we sit under those willows? I'm exhausted.

-sure. It's very pleasant there.

We sat under them. It reminded me of Charles. after hours I thought about him again. he was like an ache in my heart. I hear my heart's shatter every time I think about him.

-do you miss your family?

-um… yes I do. Why?

-you were immersing in your thoughts. All of our guests miss their own world. Don’t worry. You will go back very soon.

-I don’t like to go back.

-what? Maybe you're an exception.

-I was depressed there but I'm fine here.

-you're one of those difficult cases. You have a big problem and it's hard to solve it.

-how do you solve others problems?

-I don’t solve it. We just show them the way. Everyone solve their own.

-I think mine is unsolvable!

-nothing is impossible here.

He was very eager to ask about my problem but didn’t ask. I wanted to ask about that woman. Finally after minutes I said:

-who's the "mad woman"?

-oh it's nothing special! People call her mad. Her hair is just like you so I thought you look like her.

He was like a kid trying to lie. He seemed suspicious.

-can I see your town? I'm curious about people.

-of course! Lets go!

I was waiting for this. I'm not that curious about people. I just want to meet that mad woman.

We walked through people and stores. There weren’t many people there. they all looked like fairies but without wings. Flower and plants all over their houses.

-where does that "mad woman" lives?

-you're asking too much about her. Just forget her.

He seemed serious so I didn’t dare to ask again.

A unique house caught my attention.

-is that your king's palace?

-our king? Who are you talking about?

-that house over there. it's very unique among other houses.

-oh that house! No they're just regular people. We call it "happy house".

-why?

-a very friendly and happy family live there. do you like to see the house?

-yes that sounds good!

We stood in front of the house. I could hear a kid's laugh.

-they're very hospitable as well. Do you want to go in? they're kind to guests.

-oh no! that's awkward!

Rose was running toward us. She seemed angry again.

-why are you here? Lets go!

John realized that he's done something wrong again.

-hey Rose, we were just walking. I didn’t tell her anything.

-I think you're hiding something.

That was somehow rude to talk secretly in front of me. I couldn’t tolerate it anymore.

-it's nothing. Guests shouldn’t know everything about here and since John is immature, he just says everything.

-no he didn’t tell me anything. Stop it please! I wont ask about anything again! that’s rude.

I walked away angrily. I didn’t want to shout but I had to. They didn’t argue anymore after that.

We spend the day gardening with rose's grandma. It was fun.

-you're like my aunt flora. I really miss her.

-you'll go back very soon.

I was still confused about how could I solve my problem so I asked her:

-what should I do now? I can't live here forever. How can I solve my problem?

-tell us about your problem.

-don’t you know everything about me?

-no I don’t know the details. Tell us.

I sat on a wooden chair next to rose's grandma. I told them everything and cried too!

-I wanted to be free. I didn’t trust any men but I put my guard down slowly against Charles. he was very kind and gentle. He told me that we will love each other after marriage. Many people marry each other without love. I fell in love but I could feel that he didn’t want me.

-oh my poor girl!

Grandma hugged me. that was one of the warmest hugs in my life.

-I was blind and didn’t want to believe that he's cheating. After months I saw them together. It breaks my heart every time I talk about it.

-so your husband is cheating on you.

-and my best friend too!

-that’s a complicated case. You got a few ways to survive.

-tell me! I do everything.

-the first way is to give up. Let Charles go.

-ok I forget him but will my heart forget him? Will I be happy again?

-then forget this one. the second way is to tell them that you know the whole story and live with him again but…

- I wont be happy.

-right!

-just let them go. It's the best way.

-but I'm a princess. What should I tell others? My husband cheated on me!!

-I will fix that. the only thing you need to do is to forgive them.

-that’s the hardest thing.

-yes it is. You can think about it.

-how can I forgive them?

-the punishment for treason is death but since their love is real, there's a less harsher punishment for them.

That word broke my heart.

-yes their love is "real".

I walked in forest. I was immersed in my thoughts when John patted on my shoulder.

-how are you sad and depressed girl?

He's not funny at all but I appreciate his hard work to make me happy.

-I guess I'm fine!

-our trip to the town didn’t end well… but do you like to see my hiding spot?

-if you show it to me, it's not hidden anymore but yes I'd like to!

-there's many places in the forest that no one knows anything about it!

-impressive!

He asked everything about me and my world and it was time to ask about Charles. I avoided everything about him but all the things ended in something about Charles.

-So… how are you gonna solve the problem?

-I think I just have to forgive them but you know that it's hard.

-if I were you, I could never forgive them!

The lump in my throat wouldn’t let me talk. My teary eyes were blurring my vision.

-are you crying?! oh I'm sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry!

I burst into tears. I shouted:

-I'm not ready! I can't let him go! How am I supposed to live without him?

He was staring at me and didn’t know what to say.

-how could they do this to me? did she do something that I didn’t do?

I was almost screaming.

-calm down!

He hugged me. I didn’t care about the person. I just wanted someone's shoulder. I needed somewhere to cry.

His embrace felt like a mother's warm hug with kindness.

-are you alright now?

-I'm better.

-so you're not completely fine. What do you want to do? Lets do something fun!

I didn’t want to be sad so I thought about things I wanted to do.

-I want to see that woman.

That was my first and last chance. I really wanted to meet her.

-who are you talking about?

-mad woman.

He was nervous. That made me more curious than ever before.

-why do you want to see her? She's just a regular woman in the town.

-I want to know that why people call her mad.

-because she's not friendly and she never leaves her house. That's not fun at all! Lets go to blue river…

-I want to meet her!

I resisted. He finally said:

-alright! We'll go there.

-thank you john!!

-but not now.

-ugh! Why?

-we'll go there tomorrow. I have plans for today.

-okay. At least I can see her. I'll wait.

We sat there under the trees and he talked about his adventures again. I wasn’t the one talking this time. I could seat there and listen to him forever and no one would be bored. I didn’t need to talk all the time to catch someone's attention. he's not like Charles at all.