“You know, any good adventure needs a destination. And you want to know which is the best destination?”

“Somewhere where you will not talk?”

“No you silly dragon. I mean the land of the elves! Who would not want to go there? I mean, like, they are elves you know! SO COOL”

“Oh yes, the elves. Snobby brats that can not see further than their borders. I have to say that your sense of adventure is alarmingly bad.”

“What do you mean? I have a great nose for adventure! And I tell you what, the elves is where its at!”

“I rather fight a giant hornet than speak with another elf. All a bunch of brats.”

“Oooh, I see. You don’t like them because they remind you of yourself. Don’t they?”

“No, you could not be further from the truth. Elves see themselves above all else, thinking themselves superior than all others, which is false. They will not even deign themselves to be involved in matters of the world.”

Mister dragon spoke with bravado, waddling on the ground like a cute little chicken.

“I, on the other hand, care about others... When I feel like it.”

“Uh huuh. I see. Sooo you’re telling me, that you are just like an elf. But more selfish?”

...

“Why do I even bother trying to explain things to someone as stupid as you, human.”

“HEY! I’m not stupid, YOU ARE!”

“Hrmpf”

“And watch it with your fire! If I didn’t know any better, I would have assumed you were trying to kill me!”

“But I am.”

“Hahaha! Aaah you so silly, I know that you love me.”

“I love no man”

“But I am no man. Got ya good didn’t I?”

“You...”

Mister dragon hissed out, flames licking the air through his flared nostrils.

So, for the last week, me and mister dragon has been walking through this ginourmous forest. Seeing little but wild animals and trees.

Not the most amazing adventure if I say so myself.

I guess the occationall bear or two has been fun.

But not when they all focus on mister, stupid, dragon and his stupid tendencies to just outright kill them in seconds!

What is the fun in that?

I guess I understand why they attack him instead of me.

He is, after all, a bright, glowing bird that is probably rarer than even the stupid dragon that takes its form...

Okay, maybe not that rare but like

HELLOO

I am right here!

Try to kill me instead!

I'm probably a lot tastier than that stupid dragon!

Maybe?

Pfffff.

...

I wanna do something.

It's boring to just watch him huff a puff of smoke on them, seeing them burst like a bubble.

I mean…

Wait, now that I think about it

Its actually kinda disgusting.

Stupid dragon.

Anyway, one thing I noticed during his short battles, is that his fire is very hot

And I mean very

Extremely.

Even as he’s breathing his flames at something maybe three meters away from me, I can still feel it singe at my skin.

I think I’ve lost parts of my eyebrows already.

Also, his flames are like nothing I’ve ever seen before. They are in the brightest of blues.

As he breathes out, they make even the darkest of nights into the brightest day.

Dancing like the most beautiful dancer.

And his eyes

They are so dreamy

Hehe. I wish I had eyes like those.

Mine are a boring green.

But like, I’ll never tell him any of his.

His ego is already inflated as it is.

Anyway!

Now that we have a destination, the adventure can begin!

Nothing can stop an adventurer when you have a destination!

I think, maybe?

I don’t know

Never been on one before

But I’ve heard they are fun!

“So, erm, mister dragon. How do we get to the elven kingdom again?”

“I never told you”

“Then tell me!”

“No.”

“But why not?!”

“I do not want too”

“Dont be such a crybaby. Just, you know, point me in a direction.”

“Human, I am no such thing as a crybaby.”

“Pffff, when you talk like that you are. But okay, I’ll stop. But only if you point me in the right direction”

Giving a last fire breathing “Hrmpf” he casually starts soaring upwards, turning a few times before coming back down and pointing with his beak in a direction.

“Over there.”

“Thank you, mister dragon! That wasn’t hard, was it? You are so nice. Now, erm, how far?”

...

Okey, I guess I was a bit too mean there.

I guess I kinda deserve that.

But anyway, now that we have a direction and a purpose, this will be so much more fun!

It was not more fun.

We have walked for another week now.

Eating the wildlife and having little to no conversation.

I guess he’s still mad,

Stupid dragon

How long can you hold grudges?

I mean, it’s not like I am teasing him to be mean,

He’s just so much fun to tease

Hehehe.

But on the bright side, the trees are getting smaller.

And if that's any sign, we are probably coming closer to leaving this stupid forest.

And yes, I said stupid!

It ginormous, but like…

There’s nothing special here!

Aside from the chickens, but those were just stupid.

I got to say; It has, so far, been the worst adventure ever.

…

I know it’s my first. So technically it’s also the best adventure I’ve ever had.

Always look on the bright side!

Luckily, mister dragon does not seem to mind.

He’s just kinda

Floating beside me, minding his own business.

Being a friendly little killing machine

I think his total kill count during our hike is-

Two hundred and forty-nine? Maybe two hundred and fifty...

I have not been counting okay!

I’m not holding a grudge because he’s stealing all the fun away,

I’m not! No way okay.

No way...

Ehm.. I have a bunch of new arrows I’ve crafted, which is nice. So I won't have to worry about running out, I hope.

And our food worries are basically non-existent, or I mean, my food worries.

He does not seem to have to eat.

Kinda weird, but when I ask him if he wants something, he usually agrees

So he can eat, but I mean

How can he handle starving?

I know that theoretically all animals, including humans, can survive forever by just living of mana.

If you know the trick, that is.

But I’ve never heard of anyone actually doing it. As it involves actively starving.

And I don't know about you, but I really don't enjoy starving.

“Hey, mister dragon, how can you go without eating for so long?”

...

Okay stupid dragon, stay silent like a sour little kid.

I don't care.

I don't.

…

Hmmm

“Mister dragon, let’s rest here for a bit. I know it’s not even night yet but I wanna craft some more arrows and practice my bow for a bit, it’s been weeks since last I shot with it”

A very slight nod in response was all I needed.

Going around with a slight limp, I started collecting branches, wines and cutting out wood to craft.

The sun was getting low in the sky, but I did not need much time to practice.

After crafting a bunch of arrows, I stood up

Wobbling a bit as the ants in my legs swarmed,

A few jumps later, with a bow in hand, I aimed.

With no particular target, I decided to just shoot normally on a random tree.

#THUNK#

A loud thunk followed as I hit my target.

“Impressive human. If this was the first time meeting you, I would consider you worthy of facing me in battle.”

Wha-

Actuall praise from that dragon?

“Heheh thank yo- HEY what do you mean!”

...

Silence meets me again.

Stupid dragon, you think you found your way to deal with me, but think again.

Aiming my bow straight at him, I swiftly pulled back and let loose.

Without even a slight bend, the arrow swiftly brushed the top of his head.

Arrow bursting into flames by the heat coming out of his body.

“Hehehehe, you look so dumb right now”

If I was any better with phoenix expressions, I would totally say that his was one of extreme displeasure.

Hehehe

AAAH

“HEY! Dont blow your flames at me! You could have killed me!”

“I merely aimed above your head. Like some certain human did”

“Shut up! You damn well know that if I had not dodged, I would have had no hair right now!”

“Not my problem. Only basic creatures care about hair. Glorius creatures, such as me, has no need for such filth.”

“Poo on you too. I actually really like my hair. Thank you very much. So unless you want me to rip off your scales, I will have to ask you to never do that again”

“Pfff, like you, human, could ever de-scale me.”

“IF I PUT MY MIND TO IT, I CAN DO ANYTHING!”

I yelled out, stomping my food childishly hard.

Oh, it turned dark. I guess we talked for quiet a bit.

“Hey mister dragon, I’m going to hit the bed... I mean ground, so you take watch okay?”

“Have you ever taken watch?”

“Nope! GOODNIGHT!”

Then jumping down on the ground, I snuggled myself into an uncomfortable sleep.

Even after doing this for so long, I never get used to it.

I really should have brought a blanket and a pillow.

Sometimes I’m stupid,

Only sometimes tho.

Then thoughts turned to dreams

Dreams of dragons.

And night continued on.

“Uuuuurh, once again a dream of dragons, why so many dreams of-“

Wait a second,

I’m moving,

Has mister dragon picked me up an-and

STARTED FLYING!

Opening my eyes quickly while moving to stand up

I found myself in darkness, and my body tied tightly together

Leaving me with very little room to move, nor see.

Uuuuh

What?

“Hello?”

No answer?

What is happening?

Am I gettng

Kidnapped?

Is mister dragon finaly tired of me?

Wait.

No hands…

Then who kidnapped me?

And why hasn’t mister dragon warned me?

Or killed the kidnappers.

What the heck man

This is stupid

...

Eeeeh,

I’m not dead yet, so I guess they need me for something.

Just don't think about it

It will be fine.

I think

No time like the present right!