Kalie Rana

I fell into a routine after the first few days. I would wake up to a freshly prepared meal of salted something-or-others, and a bowl of stewed something-elses that Maria brought to me. My single solace was that alongside those meals, was a small gift from Lux. Usually, it was a note with a single line, something innocuous if read by someone else, but at the very least, it showed me that I was still in his thoughts.

Reading that morning’s note put a smile onto my face.

“I hope that your sleep was well. Your singing voice was as beautiful as always yesterday.”

My smile was because despite his apprehension to write his true feelings—real or dreamt up in my imagination—or speak to me directly, he was still maintaining his gestures at a distance. I couldn’t deny how nice it felt for someone else to be able to see the things that I had worked so hard to achieve. To the peasants of Cerith, I was nothing but a shadow or at worse, a replacement for Grandmother. To the rest of the Petrel’s students, I was nothing special because I was always one of them. There was a kindness in their welcome, but a pain in the way that I slid between them and disappeared.

It felt like in Lux’s eyes, I couldn’t just disappear any more. A warmth combined with a faint hint of fear. Fear that being seen meant being seen. There was no knowing what those calculating eyes of his might’ve seen if he looked long enough.

I ate the meal, and despite eating it alone, I felt a little comfort having that note beside me.

Those days aboard the Thorn's Tamer were a series of firsts for me in this new life. The first time I had ever left Cerith. The first time that I had eaten in the same room as non-nobles—the first and last time I would do so if Maria had her way.

And the first time in a long time that I had felt completely alone.

While Maria and I ate on the mess deck from time to time at my request, there was apparently some sort of superstitious concern that kept Maria in her cabin for the majority of the voyage so far. While back on Cerith that wouldn't have been so much of a problem. On the Tamer it was. And the effect was only made worse by Lux's aloofness in person.

On Cerith, it felt like we had developed some sort of connection and I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to the month long voyage—as long as I was able to spend it with him, of course. But apparently that wasn't what he wanted, despite his notes and his sweet words on that last day. It was made worse that it was his words sweet enough for me to almost forget the whole reason for me leaving Cerith in the first place.

Be presented in front of the White-Raven, get turned down for some much better suited candidate, then you can think about pursuing a romance with a man like him.

Romance? Was that what this was? At least some part of me thought it was, and who was I to deny my intuition. I think the reality of my situation made ignoring the more serious of those thoughts easier, and allowed me to focus on what mattered in the moment. I was lonely, and there was a man here that could solve that problem.

If he wanted to, that is.

My mind was barely there as I left my cabin, scattered alongside the motes of wind mana rushing over the deck. I made my way up to the stern of the ship as I had every morning before, and began the first of my songs to the wave capped ocean.

Although my thoughts were clouded and confused, I sung anyway. It was dangerous I knew, for majic was half what you wanted and half how you felt. This meant that an unclear mind singing the Song of Creation, could produce results far from what the singer intended. Thankfully, the quiet whispers that rose up from the water spirits laying just below the calming waves were still a promise in response to my prayers. Another day that I was able to keep my mana sickness at bay.

“M’lady, it really is a shame that there isn’t one of you aboard every ship in the Flagged navy. It's a delight as a sailor to have a sea calmer than a cup of water, and hearty tailwinds from the moment we left port.” Valier’s voice snapped me back to the moment. I smiled as I turned to face him. Valier, one of the few crewman who actually spoke to me beyond the “your highness’s” and “M’lady’s” that made up the entirety of my conversations with the rest of the crew, had arrived to witness the end of my songs to the sea. The majority of the sailors made a point to give me a wide berth while I sung my spells and wove my pacts with the ocean’s spirits, all but Valier.

“Well, if it’s so nice, why don’t they gather a few? I’m sure a navy as grand as the alliance’s could afford it.” Hearing that, a hearty chuckle left Valier’s lips. I will say however that of all the crewmen and sailors aboard the Tamer there was a benefit of having Valier as my most consistent companion. Tall and handsome, skin and hair both touched equally by the sun, with his long bleached hair tied neatly in a pony tail, Valier gave off a different aura than the rest of the crew.

“I'm sure you've heard of the Alliance’s history with the Majin, haven't you? That and the empire’s before it? Despite having the funds for it, folks with your talents are hard to find anywhere in the nine kingdoms of the Alliance. Let me tell you, even though they say all’s well and good, a prejudice hundreds of years deep doesn't disappear just ‘cause the newest king would rather it be that way.” While he spoke I watched as the features of his face became animated by passion. It may have been my imagination, but it almost felt like the mana in the air danced whenever he was near.

“Speaking from experience, are we Valier?” It was a simple enough question, but the way that Valier’s affable expression contorted, I realized that I had stumbled upon something maybe I wasn't supposed to have.

“It only took you a few days huh? I gotta say, I’m impressed.”

“It was a guess, nothing more.”

“An accurate one however random.” A beat of semi-awkward silence fell between us as the only sound was the Tamer cutting through the calm water. I hadn't considered much beyond the question itself, but seeing Valier's handsome face struggling to hide whatever uncomfortable emotion the admission brought along with it almost made it worth the awkwardness alone. After a few moments, he broke the silence. “No matter. It is nice to finally have someone else know of it. It’s actually quite nice to have someone else to share my secret with. I guess, I’m glad that it’s—”

“I do hope I'm not interrupting.” I jumped at the sound of Lux’s voice behind me. “But Princess, I was asked by the Grand Admiral to check on you. Is there anything that you need?"

“To be honest mate, I think we've got everything covered here. She knows where to find you, don't ya Kalie?”

Kalie?

For some reason hearing Valier say my name with such familiarity cemented the feeling that had been growing in me. Just hearing my name made me smile. Aside from the hot and cold Lux, Valier marked the first piece of unambiguous male attention that I had received in this life, and for the majority of my last. Of course I was excited at the prospect.

“Take care with how you address her.” I was surprised by the sudden added severity to Lux's even tone.

“I don't think she has much of a problem with it, do you princess?” Valier applied a thick layer of sarcasm to the word, only driving home how I was already feeling.

“I don't. Not really. But it's not an—” Hearing my permission, Valier jumped to speak again, interrupting me.

“See mate? All's well. Now I'm sure you've got some scribbling on paper to do or something, so if you don’t mind.” A part of me wanted to disagree with him, but at the same time, I was having a good time speaking with Valier, and the prospect of learning more about him after accidentally uncovering his majinhood was too good to give up right away.

Lux first looked at me, then turned to avoid my gaze before speaking, “I do. And Princess, if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask.” He moved quick enough that I barely had the chance to catch him before he descended from the prow of the ship.

“Lux wait!” He didn't turn to look back at me, but slowed his descent down the slick steps. “Are you going to be eating in the mess, or will you be taking your dinner in the Admiral’s cabin again?”

Lux was thoughtful for a moment before answering. “I believe that the Grand Admiral will be taking dinner in his cabin again, but I wouldn’t mind joining you in the mess. If that’s what you are asking.”

“It is!”

“Then, I will see you there this evening.” Another sudden addition of emotional tone to his normal toneless speech.

A moment after Lux was out of sight, Valier turned to me. “You'll be dining with us this evening Kalie? That’s perfect! I couldn't ask for a better opportunity to show you our abilities.” Valier spoke energetically and passionately—not to mention, a little louder than I thought necessary. Regardless, his tone was one that I appreciated. “We’ll have to put on a little show to go alongside your dinner. I can't wait to show you what both Alito and I can do.”

“Alito? Who’s that?”

“That. Is. A. Surprise! I better be going though, I don't want anything getting in the way of my show this evening,” Valier said, flashing me a smile so bright that it would’ve seemed fake if it were on another pair of lips. I watched as he descended the stairs, only a few seconds after Lux.

A surprise? I wasn't sure how to feel about it. But just like everything else he said, I couldn't help but be a little excited.

I'll need to make sure that Maria comes along tonight, just to be sure that if Lux does come by that I'll have some sort of excuse to leave.