The dazzlingly bright spear impaled Baron Samedi against the wall causing him to scream in anger and pain. I only caught the back end of it as my healing was starting to take effect and I was recovering. So was my hunger, and I was beginning to feel the need again as I woke up. I hoarsely asked to the room in general.

“Who knows Holy magic?”

“That would be me, but it isn’t a very strong spell so it will not hold him forever.”

“Shit, you mean he isn’t a dead shishkabob? That complicates things. Don’t come near! I’m fucking starving.”

I held my hands up at the strange group of people standing on the other side of the room. I signaled to stay away lest they become my snack. I was fucking peckish and they all looked pretty tasty. Leyara always looked tasty but dangerously right now. My eyes were locked onto the pinned form of Baron Samedi.

“How long is that thing going to hold?”

“A couple minutes at best. I can cast it maybe once more, but it consumes entirely too much mana.”

“W-wait, why are you here Leyara? How did you find us?”

“Is that any way to talk to your savior?”

She sticks out her tongue as she tormented me playfully. She pulled something out of her bag and threw it at my feet. I looked down and picked up the package that looked like it was wrapped in some kind of leaves.

“What is it?”

“Folioran field rations of course. Dried hurk meat and field crackers. They are both drier than the dead zone but that’s what this is for.”

Leyara pulled an empty vial out of her pocket. She ran her hand over her sword blade and cut her palm. She filled the vial up before stoppering it and threw it to me. I wasted no time and popped the cork out and downed its contents. It was overwhelmingly sweet but with a floral taste like wildflower kool-aid. I was embarrassed as my thirst made me feel awkward after I downed the girl I like’s blood.

*cough cough* “Thanks a lot…”

Ron was sleeping on the ground and Effie smoked a cigarette lazily while scratching her under carriage. Leyara stood guard over them looking at Baron. I called over to her as I stood up and stretched to get a feel for my newly regrown bones and tissues.

“You said you can do that once more? Let him have it. Effie! Can you keep an eye out for anything weird? This one is really fast.”

“Sure thing hunny, *cough cough*, I can prolly handle ‘at.”

“Here goes! Divine Radiant Spear!”

“Stop.”

This next part was probably going to really fucking hurt. I walked over to Leyara. She held the holy spear in her hands ready to throw it, her body was frozen like a beautiful marble statue. I knew the next part was going to be a bitch, but I needed an upgrade and a win.

“Dauntlet.”

I grabbed the spear from her hands and upped the magic to my gauntlets. I grit my teeth against the burn and ran to Baron. A grimace of pain was stuck on his face as he was frozen trying to pull the previous spear out of him. Here goes nothing! I slammed the spear into Baron Samedi’s chest and then threw the greatest right hook in the world to drive my point and the spear home. The smack of my gauntleted fist into the back of the spear unfroze time.

“Yrgggggghh…”

Baron Samedi cried out in pain before slumping to the ground. The spears having vanished and left nothing to hold him against the wall. A platform lowered from the ceiling above Baron’s throne. On the platform was a scroll-like list on some kind of vellum with a list upon it. It was bathed in golden light like some kind of level reward for beating the boss monster. I guess it kind of was like that.

“Stop her Ron!”

“RRRRRRRRR.”

A strange situation had unfolded as I turned around. Effie was standing on the descended platform with the list in her hand, Dog was in his “battle mode” and had his teeth bared at her. Leyara had a plasmavelin spear ready to throw in one hand and some plant in her other hand. They all looked at me frozen in place.

“Ummm, anyone want to go first?”

“…….”

“Dog?”

His eyes started sweating.

“Effie?”

She lit a new cigarette off of the old one and never broke eye contact.

“Leyara then…”

“I am pretty sure the fairy tried to poison you and based on this situation, most likely to get the reward for defeating him.”

“Poison? I have immunity to all poison though.”

“Shit.”

“We all know that though. Wait. Shit?”

“Yeah, shit. Dammit ole peach bottom here caught me up. But, I a’int sorreh for shit you lil prick.”

“Woah, woah, woah, Effie. What the hell?

The hurt was evident in my voice. I didn’t have many friends to begin with and even fewer in this new world and body. To have one spewing so much hate towards me had me feeling a type of way. The look on my face said it all.

“Oh, save your damn crocodill tears for summin who gives a shit ya hear? You filthy damn murderer!”

“Effie, listen, we’re friends, right? I would never hurt you. There must be some kind of miscommunication here.”

“A’int no damn mistake boy, you killed my brother. Eddie Laylen the great Fairy thief!”

“You must be mistaken. Your brother was dead when I got here!”

“Lyin’ all the way to the end are ya?! This is his list right ‘ere! This is your damn bone garden, a’int it?! You a’int got all muh brother’s treasure in that damn magic pocket of yours? Huh, HUH *cough cough*”

“I mean I do have a pocket full of stuff that suspiciously might be one of everything, and I did recently find out that this whole place was created by me…” Maybe she is right. Paying for Vampir’s mistakes again, I guess.

“You damn fucken right you do you ole undead snek!”

“I know this will be hard to believe, but that was a different person in the same body. We have spent time together, remember?”

“Yeah, I ‘member just fine. You kilt ole Lenny who just wanted to tussle and then you tried to eat me and yur dog for brekkers. Which’n am I missing?”

“Effie, those were all misunderstandings. I thought you knew that?”

At this point Effie sat down on the suspended platform and lit another cigarette and Ron ran over to Leyara for a scratching. I was so conflicted. Everything she said was true but they were also all accidents related to being in this body all of a sudden and not knowing my own strength or powers. When had I learned to accept death so easily?

“Only thing I know is that you are a monster and this list and all of my brother’s treasures belong to…”

A trickle of blood ran down her mouth as a sword blade erupted from her chest.

“Wait, Effie NO!”

I screamed out and instinctively reached for her as she slumped to the floor. A cigarette still burned lazily in her mouth as the life faded from her eyes and she went to the beyond staring through me. In her place was none other than Baron Samedi. Two giant holes in his chest showed a hollow except for a beating black heart with a metal band wrapped around it with nails driven through.

“Her accent was annoying.”

His statement rang through the room as time seemed to stand still. Smoke drifted up from Effie’s cigarette and around the glowing list.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Name: Vampir Darkness - (Shawn Mullins)

Date of Birth: Reign 23rd 3015

Title: Undead Lord

Race: Vampire (Human)

Hair: Black

Eyes: Red (Evil Glow)

Current Value: 239.9 million Gold Coins, Approx. 149 trillion Gold Coins worth of Invisibility Potion, Resurrection Token

Magic Pocket: Pretty much one of everything, Vampir’s Diary, Magic Jar of Dog Urine, All of Casidhe’s Shit

Powers: Voice Mesmer, Animal Transmutation, Super Strength, Mach 3 Speed, Immunity, Regeneration

Magic: Source (Custom) Magic, Folioran Magic, High Magic

Weaknesses: Holy Water, Betrayal, The Sun, His Own Source

Strengths: Sword Fighting, All Magic (Except Holy), Casidhe’s Magic (Sometimes), Dog, Leyara