《Essence of the Dragon》37 – Righting and Regressing
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His head lowered and his lips found hers. The shock was enough to keep him from reacting. Through his confusion, he was distinctly aware this was not what a real kiss felt like. It was too forceful, his fingers were digging into her arms. It was also strangely empty; Ezeas had no feelings attached to what went on, beyond his confusion. He could feel his lips against hers, but he was still detached from it.
Saelina broke it off with an annoyed scoff.
“Just get it done, Callum.”
Her eyes were devoid of emotions and she looked away from him. Ezeas looked down himself and realized he had changed form. The memory had shifted.
“I'm not Callum.”
Even his voice had changed.
“What?”
She looked at him with suspicion and fear.
“Think back, we were somewhere else, just now.”
“I was...”
Her brow furrowed and she seemed unsure of herself.
“I was with Essy.”
He sighed, not sure if it came from relief or annoyance.
“Yes, you were with me.”
Her eyes widened as she stared at him. He knew she was seeing him, not Callum.
“But you never kissed me.”
“When I grabbed you, I must have triggered a different memory.”
She hesitated. Their surroundings faded away and they were left in a gray space with nothing around them.
“You're...really here?”
He nodded.
“Your memories have been altered and it caused you to attack me,” he explained, calmly.
“I attacked you?”
Their surroundings started distorting again, and Saelina's expression was marked by fear and regret.
“You didn't hurt me!” he quickly interjected.
The distortion became worse as he took a few steps towards her; he quickly raised his hands, palms outwards.
“Saelina, please listen!”
The space seemed to settle and she met his gaze.
“There's something very wrong with me, isn't there?”
Ezeas sighed, weighing his words.
“You've been poisoned. It's something that alters your mind and plays on your emotions, in your case: fear.”
“Fear,” she mumbled to herself.
“When you attacked, I subdued you and we've kept you unconscious, until we could find a way to help you.”
“My memories...they've been wrong, twisted.”
“They've become exaggerated, to heighten your fear. To turn you against me.”
She listened but her eyes remained wary.
“How do I know the truth?”
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“I don't know,” he admitted.
There was silence between them.
“I miss Dhíanvhúr,” she whispered. “It's lonely without him.”
“He's still here,” Ezeas promised.
“Can we reach him?”
He considered the question for a moment.
“Maybe try focusing your mind on a memory with him?”
She nodded and closed her eyes. After a moment or two, she opened them again.
“What if he doesn't want to see me?”
Ezeas furrowed his brow.
“Why would that be the case?”
“Maybe he wanted to leave me...”
There was a tremor in their surroundings and urgency once again entered Ezeas' mind as he tried to think of a way to assuage her fears.
“He wants to protect you!” he blurted out. “He wouldn't even let me enter your mind, unless I promised to save you!”
She looked doubtful but he met her gaze as openly as he could and hoped she still retained enough of her former sense of reason to trust him. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she closed her eyes again.
At first, nothing happened, then there was a slight shimmer before the distortion took proper effect. It darkened around them and cave walls grew to surround their position; in front of his eyes, Ezeas saw the manifestation of an enormous white beast, with scaly skin and feathered wings. A triangular head with dark blue eyes looked down at the pair of them in calm contemplation.
“You finally hear me again.”
“You transported my soul, again?”
“No. This is your memory. It works as a bridge.”
“My memories are all wrong,” she told the creature who nodded.
“It is the work of an outside being.”
“Can it be reversed?” Ezeas asked.
“A mortal's mind is easily altered but it has consequences.”
Saelina swallowed, her voice wavering as she asked:
“What consequences?”
“The mind's barriers may end up weakened and collapsing under added strain.”
She looked at Ezeas who shrugged, unsure what the dragon meant.
“What kind of barriers are they?”
The dragon's head descended until it was eye-level with Saelina.
“The kind that protects you from your past.”
A shudder ran through her and Ezeas noticed the fear that flickered across her expression. She hardened her features and clenched her fists.
“I have to try it.”
Dhíanvhúr accepted her answer and pulled his head back up.
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“The distortion can be righted with the truth. The real memory is still there, it's merely painted over.”
The dragon nodded towards Ezeas.
“The keeper can help.”
Ezeas felt the blue gaze settle on him and he met the dragon's eyes with quiet determination. Saelina looked at him as well.
“We should probably start with the latest memory and work our way back,” he suggested and she nodded.
“Memories are nebulous, your place within each memory can be manipulated,” Dhíanvhúr explained.
“How?” Saelina asked.
“You're both within one mind. Reach out to each other, and allow the other in.”
They focused on remembering the last time they had been together. After a moment of thinking, their environment changed to the inside of Ezeas' home, though it was clear from the odd way everything appeared Saelina did not have the best grasp on her surroundings or what happened. He was holding her against the wall and she was whimpering in fear.
“Saelina,” he called gently, keeping her attention.
She looked at him and he kept his eyes locked with hers. He felt his thoughts reaching towards her and felt her mind recoil.
“Would you prefer not to do this?”
She shook her head and took a deep breath, closing her eyes. After a few seconds, he could feel her give in, and their perception was swapped. Ezeas opened his eyes to find himself staring down at him. He looked dark and threatening to Saelina, he realized. A menacing figure who could kill her without much effort. Her heart was beating frantically and unevenly in his chest and her breath was ragged and shallow.
With careful coaxing, he helped her correct what had happened after she had tried to stab him; her fear was close to unraveling everything, several times, but Ezeas kept her focus on what she knew, rather than the emotional turmoil which had taken over.
They moved from shared memory to shared memory, talking through the parts that did not match and what their differences in perception meant. It was an unsettling experience to see every one of his actions from the opposite perspective. The transition became easier with each jump, as if their memories was naturally pulling them back in time.
He could not tell how much time passed as they worked their way through the past, nor how successful they would ultimately be. Seeing the world through Saelina's eyes was like entering a whole different realm. Her senses being more limited, the scenes were barely recognizable to him, initially.
Fortunately, Saelina's mind seemed to still retain traces of her original memories and she would often put certain things into place as she was reminded of the truth.
They finally reached the snow covered woods, again, and Ezeas looked up at his own eyes staring right down at him.
“You never wanted to kill me,” his mouth said with Saelina's voice.
“No.”
They went through every moment of the night they met, through her attempt at fighting him, the burst of flames and restraints, to his leaving her hidden and dealing with Callum and his people.
Ezeas was about to mention being close to the end, when he felt himself pulled away from the memory. He could not say how it happened or what exactly triggered it, but he suddenly found himself lying on his knees on the floor, still in Saelina's body. He looked up into a pair of blue eyes who observed him, coldly.
Fear, humiliation and despair seemed to envelop his mind to the point of obliterating all reason. A pool of blood was soaking through her clothes; tracing the flow of warmth, Ezeas realized it came from a cut on Saelina's arm, bleeding profusely.
“Foolish girl,” the man said.
“It seems you really can't function without me.”
The loss of blood was starting to pull at Ezeas' consciousness. The man knelt by Saelina's body and picked her up.
“Don't worry, my dear. I won't let you die, I'll always be here to take care of you.”
Before his mind could fade to nothingness, he was pulled away again. The next memory was of Saelina on her sleeping mat, shivering in the cold, her stomach aching with hunger. Every instance following showed another scene of misery for her, confirming just how completely she was broken down by that man, Callum. Every moment, Ezeas felt her weakness and hopelessness and his own pain and anger grew. But within those memories was a core of strength he had never thought she could possess.
Then an unimaginable pain shot through him from a place he could not even begin to imagine...
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