What a strange and unsettling spectacle dinner had been. I was back in my room, trying to comprehend everything that had just happened. Ted, Eli’s weird behavior, Eva’s break down, Benagher’s character… and then there had been…

… the steak. My stomach turned but I held it together.

Get a grip, Fenn, I told myself. Hardi is dead. Does Meyer know?

I sat on the edge of my bed going over and over the events, repeatedly having to chase the image of that steak out of my head. After tonight’s events, there was no doubt left in my mind, Ted was a psychopath. No one in this house was safe. But what game were Eva, Eli and Benagher playing? How could they let this go on? How could they be part of this?

I have to get out of here!

Now.

The urgency was burning me.

I had to retrieve my brother, Fiori, Yuki and Meyer and get out of here as fast as possible. As far as possible.

I looked around my room. I started gathering anything that might be of use. I removed the pillow from the pillowcase and started stuffing it with clothing, an empty cup, a fork, a knife, a small batterie operated light. Later I’d go to the kitchen and get some packaged food.

Again, my stomach turned at the thought of food. The steak reappeared in my mind, floating before my eyes. Unable to hold it in anymore, I ran to the water closet and threw up.

When I was done, Ted was waiting for me in the room, with two armed guards. At the sound of his voice, the hair on my arms stood up.

“You’ve dined well, I take it. So, let us now have a little talk about the whereabout of the formula.” His voice was intense, his face hardened. His usual smile wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

The door opened. Another guard walked in, dragging Meyer, a gun to the head.

“We can do this the easy way… You tell me where the formula is, Meyer returns to his room. Or we can do this the hard way… You will eventually tell me where it is, and Meyer joins his father on our plate.”

A nervous laugh came out of my throat.

“This is all the same to me,” I lied. “Whatever you say, I get no assurance. Your words mean nothing. You said it yourself, you can’t guarantee the safety of my friends. So then, what’s in it for me?”

The steak, once more, appeared before my eyes.

I forced myself to continue.

“Regardless, I am going to tell you. I am going to tell you exactly what my brother said. Not because you are threatening me, but out of my free will. Because I want to tell you. So have Meyer sent back to his cell, you won’t be needing him, here, tonight.”

Ted didn’t like my smug answer. But he obliged. A wave of relief spread over me. I didn’t want to be the one sending Meyer to his death… again…

I sat down, still shaking from all the throwing up.

I was smart. Evian was smarter. Evian knew to plan a head. He knew what was at stake, so I had to trust him. I had to believe, that during our brief encounter, he would not have given me any information truly leading to the formula. Yet, I knew that somehow, he must have given me some clues, allowing me, and me only to find it.

“The formula is in my parent’s house,” I said, checking for any reaction from Ted. “Look for a journal hidden in Hana’s old bedroom under a loose plank of her floor. Evian placed it there before turning himself in, to the government. Look for a foreign name… Someone outside Antarticum knows something.”

I sighed. True or not, the words coming out of my mouth felt heavy.

“That is exactly what Evian told me. Words, for words.”

Ted was scrutinizing me. It made me feel uncomfortable, but I had spoken no lies. My whole body was aching. The steak, I though. No, not the steak. The stare. This was a decisive moment. Either he would believe me, or he wouldn’t. Either Evian had told me the truth and I had just made a huge mistake, or he hadn’t, and all was safe. Either it was enough to keep my friends alive another day, or it wasn’t.

I waited in silence for the judgment to fall.

“Words for words, you said. A journal? A foreign name? There has to be more to it! I will send my men to retrieve the journal. Either they find it, and it contains the information I need, or else I will send you and your friends down the path to hell. We can always use more people for our science experiments. The lifespan of our subject tends to be limited. Humans, Aethereusians and Meliors alike, struggle when it comes to withstanding pain and molecular changes. I believe your sister had a taste of it… for a while anyway.”

I stood there dumbstruck, terrified the truth I knew wasn’t the truth needed to assure our safety. I had always lived in a world of lies. This felt no different. Was I lying to him? I couldn’t even tell. My head started to spin.

I smiled.

“You won’t be disappointed,” said my voice with utmost confidence.

It shook me to the core. How had I done that? Where did this confidence come from?

Ted squinted, amused.

“Well then, tomorrow 9 am. I make an announcement. Be there, bring that smile of yours. We will be going live on camera.”

Then he left as swiftly as he had arrived.

As soon as the door closed, I collapse on my bed, burying my face in the naked pillow.

You need to get out of here, a voice whispered in my mind.

It startled me.

Evian?

No, it was Eva.

You need to get out of here, it said again.

“I know that!” I answered exasperated. “But how!”

But how, I thought.

Tomorrow. There will be an announcement. No matter what, trust Benagher and no one else.

Benagher?

I couldn’t trust Eva, why would I trust Benagher?

I grabbed my pillowcase, made sure no one was roaming the hallway and headed to the kitchen. There I quickly grabbed canned everything I could find. A can opener too. I picked up a few water bottles. I looked for a charcuterie knife but couldn’t find any. Not wanting to waste time, I headed back to my room and threw the pillowcase under the bed.

It was past midnight.

I laid fully clothed on top of my bed waiting for the day to come.