Chapter V - Derailing Decision

-99 seconds until impact-

I was afraid. Afraid that this force will let me down. No..., afraid that I will let everyone down. But for a short moment I was freed from this fear. I don't know what it was, but it felt like my inner self had come to terms with the situation. There was no alternative for me anymore.

No one is really special in this world. No one is born to anything higher. Not even I, who now carried this mysterious power within. I hadn't forgotten that until that moment. And that was a good thing. Because that's the only way I can be who I want to be.

I don't want to be a superhero who saves people all over the world with supernatural powers. That sounds selfish after I was given the chance to become something like that. But if that should be my destiny, then I really don't want that. I didn't want to let my fate determine what I have to be and what not. But I won't stop fighting. I won't stop looking for the answer.

Who I am? No matter how crazy it all looks, I am and will remain myself and that won't change.

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7-8-9-10! 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17-18-19-20!)

Lia: "Who do we have here? Isn't that our dear train driver, who sits there so calmly as if everything was normal...

Train driver: "Who... who are you? W... wh... what are you doing here? You aren't allowed to be here!"

Lia: "Sure..."

Fina: "Did you have to smash the window? People were anxious enough as it is."

Train driver: "You... you are getting into so much trouble for this. No... no, I'm getting into so much trouble for this. I might even lose my job."

Fina: "Eww! It's people like you I hate the most. Thinking only of themselves when it comes down to it."

Lia: "Scum like him must also exist!"

Fina: "Surely you will help us to uncouple the wagons... otherwise...." Fina looked sadistically sinister at the train driver.

Lia: "He! What do you say? I always liked scrambled eggs for breakfast..."

Train driver: "Huh?... No... need.. all... all right!" he sobbed.

(21, 22, 23, 24, 25!)

Pull yourself together, Alex! I know you can do it!

(26, 27, 28, 29, 30!)

I need to unravel the secret of this power!

(31, 32, 33, 34, 35!)

Even if it seems impossible!

(36, 37, 38, 39, 40!)

Oh, man! Am I sweating? Is it really that warm?

The boy was in conflict with himself. He knew he had to save the people on the train. But he also knew that he would lose control again. He tried to hold on to his ideals but as he started to do so, questions arose in him that were always been dormant deep within him. What do I want? Why do I want to? Who do I want? But there was no time for that.

Wait. Where is Tetra, actually? She was supposed to go to school, too. Is it possible that Judith took her too? No, she would certainly have rubbed that under my nose. Where is she? I still have no answer to my most urgent question. It's been driving me all fucking crazy in my head. What happened? No one can help me. I am all alone. Not Noel, not Noah, not Isa and not...

Markus: "Hey, no daydreaming, Alex!" I looked at him like a pair of worn-out shoes.

Markus: "It's okay if your emotions are depressing you. But don't forget that your life belongs to you. Whatever may happen now, it doesn't matter at all. You don't have to prove to be different."

"You're right." I nodded insecurely.

(41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47-48-49-50! 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57-58-59-60!)

Mysterious voice: "Does he, really?"

"Arrgh! It's you!?" My head started to hurt.

Chosen One: "Alex, you are special. I gave you a power that allows you to face even destiny. You saw it yesterday in the city. I mean the extent of this force. How dare you say that this is nothing special?"

"This power is not mine. It is not me. Now get out of my head. I need to concentrate."

Chosen One: "Funny how you can say that when you're just so desperately trying to activate them. This power is now a part of you. You accepted it. It has accepted you. There is no going back."

"What do you want from me, wimp?"

Chosen One: "Still mean, huh? I've come to help. It would be a shame if your story ended here, wouldn't it? I gotta say, your decisions so far make me doubt you have what it takes. But no one is born a master yet, huh? Haha."

"What do you mean?"Chosen One: "Alex, with this power inside, you are the strongest thing that walks on this planet. Right after me, of course. Yet you almost let yourself be hit by a pistol bullet, you destroy an entire intersection in rage and finally the next day you let yourself be run over by a train! That's pretty absurd, when you know the whole script."

"Are you too trying to tell me I'm an idiot? I'm really fucking got the message!"

Chosen One: "Did you, really? It was only yesterday that I bestowed upon you my generous gift, which allows you to use your power to teleport anything imaginable. I even went a step further and added an extra nostalgic touch to it. With him, you could have teleported everyone off the train. Of course this would have meant that you could have lost all your strength trying and died in the process. But you would have saved your friends. But now, you just killing yourself senselessly in the hope that a force that you don't want to accept will help you to play the hero. You are truly and utterly hopeless."

(61, 62, 63, 64, 65!)

Smile Alex, Smile!

(66, 67, 68, 69, 70!)

Even if you don't understand them!

(71, 72, 73, 74, 75!)

Even if you lose your self-confidence!

(76, 77, 78, 79, 80!)

Love Alex, Love!

After the boy realized that everything, that made him what he was, no longer interested him, he began to discard everything from himself in order to form a new self. The questions in him began to change. Where do I go? Which do I go? How do I go?

"Hopeless? Hahaha, for true I am. All my life I thought that if I kept running away from it, I would escape my destiny. But I must have been wrong. For where am I going to run to, if I am pushed into a corner? I take on the challenge. I take on fate. That was what I wished for, wasn't it? Hahaha, I won't rest until I find out who is responsible for all this. I won't rest until I find out where Tetra is. I won't rest until I find out who I am."

I began to grin.

"And I shall start with you! I know that you are hiding the truth from me because you are pursuing your own goals. You are just as rotten as I am. But at some point I'll know the truth. You can bet your pitiful life on that."

Chosen One: "Hm, it looks like I was mistaken. A bit of hope still shines in you. ...Could it be that those people around you are your incentive to fight? ...Look how they gaze at you. Their recognition is what you crave."

"..."

Chosen One: "That's right... hence all that analysis bullcrap..."

"Shut up!"

Chosen One: "You don't want to accept it, do you? How you use them. How you take advantage of them. Like dolls in a girl's room..."

"I said shut your filthy fucking piehole!

Chosen One: "It's okay, jerk. Looks like I've found a sore spot."

"I don't understand how you seem to believe, you know who I am, if even fate doesn't seem to know."

Chosen One: "..."

"From now on things will be different. I won't wait until destiny catches up to me. I'll go capture it instead. No, I hunt it! Whatever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want!"

Chosen One: "Then reactivate the power by letting your deepest feelings run free. Become the monster everyone is afraid of!"

"No, I will become me! For as long as I am with the people I love, I am me and no one else! This is the answer I have found for myself. Let my striving and my rage end me! I'm not afraid!"

(81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87-88-89-90! 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97-98!)

Marcus: "99! ISA NOW!"

Isa: "Here We Go!"

POWER hidden deep within my heir,

It is TIME! I care;

about the WELFARE of thee;

who mean so much to me!;

I want to keep them from all danger,

so let me be their CHANGER;

I want to protect them from any threat,

so I'll shall take off my HAT;

I want to save them from any dire,

so let me be your SQUIRE;

I succumb to you completely.

POWER that was given to me,

hear my PLEA!

Then the world stopped for just a moment.

???: "I understood! Then that's how it should be!"

Alex inner conflict: 3%

The boy's eyes began to glow. As bright green as the fields of his home village. The boy's nose began to gasp for air. It seemed like it was enjoying the stench. The boy's lips were blood-red and moist. Just like the moist railroad track, which now began to smolder due to the wheels. The boy's ears were wiggling. They never usually wiggled, but now faster than ever before. The boy's aura seemed to match the scaffolding of the train. His desire for revenge was reawakened in him once again.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Markus: "Hold out the pain! I know you can do it!"

Chosen One: "Pff! Why does everything have to be so cliché with you? My work here is done. I'm leaving!"

The boy, enveloped in strength, grabbed the train with both arms in front, like the horns of a bull. Never before in his life had the boy had to lift such a heavy burden. His untrained body wasn't prepared for such a force, so that it was only a matter of time before the boy would collapse.

"Ahhhh! Why did I have to leave out my bowl of muesli today...! Ahh... grit your teeth, Alex!"

The boy's arms had survived the impact with tremendous damage They were able to hold the train, but couldn't stop it. The boy used the force to stabilize his stance, whereby his legs were also exposed to extreme pressure. Yet, even though it looked as if the wild beast wouldn't be able to beat the boy, it didn't give up, as if it knew that the boy's stamina wouldn't last forever.

Although the train was still moving, Lia opened the doors. Slowly but surely the people jumped onto the platform. I felt the carriage getting more and more empty. Even the people in the rear two wagons had reached the platform by now, after they had been uncoupled early. Marcus had guided them all back safely. Isa immediately ran to me.

Isa: "Alex! What the hell are you doing?! I told you not to use this power! You looked like you were in so much pain yesterday and now it's no different."

"Sorry Isa! It was the only way. Ahhh! I can't rest when I know I can make a difference."

Isa: "But it is not worth the risk. I don't know what I would have done..."

"Don't think about it! Fuck... ahhhhhhhh!"

Isa: "Alex!!"

Judith: "I can't believe you really made it, squirt."

"No, not yet ..." I started smiling.

Isa: "Huh?"

"Markus! You have to get on the train, otherwise we won't be able to stop it."

Noel: "What?!"

Markus: "..."

Noel: "Have you gone completely crazy? You can't seriously want that, right?"

Markus: "...you want me to pull the emergency brake again, eh?"

"Yes, exactly."

Isa: "Alex, I don't know. Look at your arms. You need to go to the hospital. You won't survive another one of these impacts."

"Probably. But I have to try. If we don't stop my friend here, he'll derail after reaching the terminus at any rate and what's behind that?"

Isa: "...the... station..."

"Bingo! If we don't do anything, everything will blow up there!"

Noel: "Alex, you don't have to prove shit here. You saved all these people. Isn't that enough?"

"Not if I could've done more."

I felt how the force was gaining control over me again. I could hear my adrenaline flowing in my blood. I was aware that the force was playing with my feelings. But this time I was able to regulate it much better.

Even though I had never taken drugs before, I got the feeling that the force behaved somewhat similar. I couldn't stop until the last part of energy in me ran out. I wanted to use every second of this ecstasy like a fanatic.

Still, I was confident. I wanted to make use of the advantages. And I had a backup plan. Markus also probably speculated. He certainly wanted to stop this train just as much as I did. I knew that very well.

Lia: "Do you see his eyes...?"

Fina: "Yes... that could turn out dangerous..."

Now Fina and Lia came along as well.

Lia: "You're insane as hell! The station is probably closed off by now. Even if the building blows up, no one will be harmed!"

Noel: "Miss Junks?"

Judith: "She's right. Our security forces should have done their job there by now."

"That's not the point. Whoever's responsible for this is targeting me and the force. So I'm responsible, that the train has gotten out of control. Quite obvious, isn't it?"

Isa: "But that doesn't mean that you are to blame. It's not your fault."

"But my decisions brought me here, so I have to pay for that too."

Isa: "Do you even hear what you're saying? There is no logic behind your words. You don't act like you usually do."

"That may be... But right now I'm like this and no one else. You understand?"

Fina: "And, although you know that you can't judge things properly right now, you are willing to take such a risk?"

Lia: "You are ready to risk your friend's life for this crazy maneuver? ...not that I care."

"Yeah, 'cause I know he's capable."

Noel: "That he's capable of committing suicide?! You're out of your mind! No matter what he's up to, Markus, I won't let you go just because the psychopath went crazy in front of the train."

Then it was quiet again. The uncomfortable silence from before returned. Everyone was waiting for Markus's decision.

Markus: "Ok, I'll do it!"

Noel: "Huh?"

Markus: "Alex, I trust you... You may be an idiot who sometimes... often does questionable things, but I know you do your best. I don't care if this is the end of my story. I know you'll keep writing it for me!"

I saw it in Markus' face how scared he was. I could smell his sweat of fear. I heard him swallow softly. But despite all this, my mind did not change. Truly, I was nothing more than a monster now.

Markus got onto the...

Noel: "Wait!" Suddenly Noel grabbed Markus by the arm. Noel was definitely stronger than Markus, since he couldn't really fight back. But his look full of determination made Noel tremble.

Markus: "Alex?"

"Yes?"

Markus: "You have to promise me that you will find Alex for me!"

"I promise!" answered I without thinking for long.

Markus: "And one more thing... Why me? ...And now don't come..

"Because you're the only one I know who's mad enough for this. I mean, if you wanted to, this train could transform into a giant mecha and I wouldn't even be surprised. And I can only truthfully say that about one. You."

He started to smile.

Markus: "How did I know you would say that. Thanks." The doors closed.

"Don't thank me, you idiot."

No, really, don't thank me.

Noel: "I don't understand it. What will do you do when you can't stop the train after all? What will do you do if you can't get him out in time? What will you do if something happens to him?"

"I take responsibility... for my decision."

Noel: "Tsk... idiot, you're really out of your mind."

"...probably ...but maybe ...just the opposite ...is the case..."

Relieved, my powers left me. I fainted immediately. Noel jumped in front of the train, despite what I said, to save me from my bitter end. The train went on and in it Markus. But one thing didn't leave my head.

I WILL STOP THIS TRAIN