Your Steam Power is at 100%. Please maintain a sustainable usage of power.

The pleasant soprano of some lady’s voice spoke loudly into my ears, piercing directly into my aching brain.

Ugh! Turn it off! I thought, my head pounding. It was like hammers were being slammed into my temples. What an awful hangover.

Yesterday had been the greatest experience of my life. But I wouldn’t be exaggerating to say I peaked. Multiple drinks, multiple parties, and, most importantly, multiple women.

But the pounding in my brain was driving me insane!

What is that awful rhythm? Why won’t it stop??

The booting process will be complete soon. Please wait…

God, lady, stop yelling in my ears!

I got no response from the woman. But after a few more minutes of me staring into the dark with the rhythmic pounding through my brain, I realized it sounded like vaguely like the grandfather clock in my Aunt Victoria’s house. Though I couldn’t be certain since I hadn’t been there in years, the sound of the pendulum swinging and the loud ticking that echoed through the house resembled this.

The sound began to die down, and I thanked the gods above that my hangover might allow me the peace to lay here in the darkness.

Actually, the pain was nearly gone. Though only a moment ago my brain had felt as though a wedge was being slowly pressed through it, now I felt nothing.

I can’t sit up.

From experience, if the headache went away, however much a miracle, moving instantly caused it to return with a vengeance. It was as though the pain was simply perched above you, waiting for the right moment of weakness to strike.

“Hey,” I said, almost shouting. “I think I need a little hair of the dog.”

I only realized after I said it that my mouth hadn’t moved.

Nor did any sound come out.

Instead, in the background, I could’ve sworn I heard some creaks, whistles, and clangs. But it wasn’t like the hammering in my head. This sounded mechanical. I tried to reach up and grab my jaw, to see what was restricting me.

My arm didn’t move. I tried the other. Still nothing.

Great. First a hangover and now sleep paralysis, too? What unholy matriarch did I piss off this time?

Suddenly, as though my bindings were cut free, I felt my arms swing forward as my body stumbled. I fell to my knees, sinking into water and hearing a massive crash like a cliff made of ice falling into the ocean.

The booting process is complete. Please wait for the assignment of your Administrator.

Bright light crashed into my vision as I opened my eyes, squinting into the outside surrounding me. No, this wasn’t Micah’s place where I’d crashed the night before. Were they playing a joke on me? I held a hand before my face to block some of the blinding light as my eyes adjusted.

It happened a lot faster than I’d expected.

But I was too distracted to notice that as I gazed at the vaguely hand-shaped mass of rusted iron before me.

I twisted my hand, seeing the metal contraption twist as well. I formed a fist, and the hand screeched as it formed into the same thing. I heard the hiss of steam after the fist had formed and locked into place.

I blinked, a dull thud following it. My eyes trailed down the arm, seeing the valves, hatches, tubes, and wires that stuck out from patchwork bronze armor that had long since oxidized. I followed the arm as it connected to a shoulder. My shoulder.

My reaction was a lot calmer than I would’ve expected.

I blinked again, the same dull thud following. It didn’t seem as much an unconscious habit so much as an intentional way to express my confusion and surprise.

I looked down toward my feet, examining my entire body. Unsurprisingly, it was more machinery. Pumps, valves, tubes, and pipes stuck out of various spots on my body. But they were all so small that I couldn’t have grabbed them with my hand without crushing them.

I’m a metal man…

This definitely wasn’t a prank. Whatever it was, it definitely wasn’t possible. And if Micah had somehow hypnotized me or strapped me into a VR headset, well, he needed to market that technique or technology immediately.

Waves rushed across my feet, crashing against my heels but failing to move me.

Wait… I can feel stuff with this metal skin?

I tried to take a step forward to approach the beach, which was only a hundred or so feet away, but my legs refused to move.

Please wait for the assignment of your Administrator.

The woman’s voice again, echoing through my brain. She wasn’t as loud this time, nor did the noise bother me. But as I was about to ask her what she meant, I realized I could still hear the thumping in my brain.

As I listened, though, I realized it seemed to be something within my head that was operating, like a pump or a piston. It wasn’t a headache at all, though it certainly could induce one.

I tried once more to move my legs, and they began to budge. It seemed as though I was fighting both the sand that had buried them deep under the water, as well as the woman who wanted me to wait for an Administrator, whatever that meant.

Lady I’m moving. And you can’t stop me.

Warning! Your Administrator has not been assigned. Your consumption of power will not be regulated without an Administrator’s Program!

I don't see any Administrator here! I retorted snarkily. I’m not going to sit out in the ocean and become a nest for the seagulls! Maybe we'll find an admin over there.

One leg pried itself from under the sand, erupting like Mount Vesuvius over Pompei. The very seagulls I’d called out squawked angrily, departing my titanic self.

Guess this body’s been here for a while, eh lady?

Your Steam Power is at 98%. Please do not consume too much power without an Administrator’s Program!

Nice commentary, but is there any way I can see that percent, since it’s clearly going to be such a huge element of my new life as a robot?

As though granting my wish, an opaque white bar drew itself across the top right corner of my vision. I could see it clearly if I glanced up that way, and there was some text written within the bar.

Steam Power: 98/100

The next few steps brought me to the beach quickly and efficiently, once I’d pried the second leg from the sand.

A whirring noise attracted my attention, and I turned to see a bright red fantasy airship flying towards my face.