They say your father is your biggest supporter. Your number one protector.

Someone who can give you strength when you are weak.

But the person walking down the stairs has taught me to gather my own strength—for he failed to give me his.

I watched how he proudly smiled, laughed, and shake hands with people who seem to look up to him, follow him, and despise him.

Remembering that night, after he left me begging for a fatherly love, even just a bit of it, I beg to differ from these people.

All I can say is I am utterly disgusted at him. And I am never gonna look up to him, ever again. He does not deserve any bit of appreciation from me.

He made me see life differently. And it made it very petty.

“Good evening Ms. Aesha, what a nice evening it is, isn’t it? ” German who seemed to enjoy the evening stood beside me.

I only looked at him for a second before turning back my eyes again at the man. Watching his every move, plotting on how to make that smile of him fade.

In my peripheral view, I saw German stare at the man too, then play with his wine. We both watched him for a while. Though I know we are both watching him with different opinions flowing on our minds.

But of course, the German I know would not last my silence so he speak up.

“Your father seemed to enjoy the evening with all the guests that he is meeting. He has been successful leading. Making connections with people.”

Connections.

He is good at making connections?

I laughed shortly. What a funny joke.

Sure he knows to build connections to these people.

But he sucks building a connection with the person who badly needs to connect with him the most.

All these connections, they are all fucking useless.

“Father.” I echoed the word, now playing with the wine in my glass.

My mind traveled back, looking for how he is a father to me. How he is supposed to be a father to a family.

I fail to remember when he became one.

For he was long gone.

It felt so long that I can’t even remember. I looked at the man one last time and it seemed like it is now his turn to have his welcome greetings as he offered his widest smile on the crowd this evening.

What a warm man. I mocked.

“I do not have a father,” I said, spitting the last word with pure disgust.

I turned my back with all those blinding lights surrounding him. I decided to walk away from him. To turn my back on him again.

I caught German nod, acknowledging my words, but still keeping his gaze on the man.

“Take care, ” he bid as I take my first step, drowned by lots of following steps.

I can see eyes looking at me right now, but what I only decided to look at is the door to exit this location. Like all of this is insignificant aside from that door who can remove me from this hell-hot hole.

I’ve placed the wine glass on the table near the door and proceeded to remove myself from the event.

I was welcomed by the darkness outside, lighted by those bright lights from the parking lot. Vehicles are properly parked in the lot and I believe there are a lot of them right now.

He sure knows how to bring a show. And it seemed like they are addicted.

I walked past the parking lot and proceed to go to the passage with little lights as my guide to another small gate. I opened it with my keys and saw my motorcycle, lighted by another small light that has been standing there for years.

I climb over it, kicked it with my heels on. My dress rise at my movement and I felt the cold metal pressing on my skin as I move to remove the motorcycle stand.

Some loud roaring of the engine to somehow ruin his precious event.

I let it roar until I’m satisfied.

I sped my way out the small gate and passed all those cars in the lot.

I noticed how the front door became busy. Now it is full of people who are curious about who the culprit is—destroying the show.

I look up the glass window and saw the man watching me.

I am guessing how he is now feeling about me ruining his precious evening once again.

Before I get out of the gate, I saw German on the side mirror watching me go.

I drove all the way up and shoved all the feeling he and the mansion made me feel.

How unfair.