Everything was much more at ease when he got home. No more awkward silence or tension that he couldn’t quite figure out or place, (how could he when they wouldn’t talk to him?) That was okay though, because everything was fine again. They’d told him in the car that he’d get to go back to school which just made him feel dramatic for throwing a huge tantrum over it in the first place. Maybe that guard was right. He really overreacted. School was precious to him. It was a means of freedom from the confines of his home. As he said, precious.

School was out for now though, winter break and all. He’d heard about it, but never knew when it was. Wait, it was now wasn’t it?

Tugging on Terra’s sleeve now that the boy was sitting idly on the couch and watching cooking shows with Aqua and, wait why were they watching that? Were they trying to kill him? That was probably besides the point. Ventus garnered his attention though, causing Terra to hum passed the disgusting coffee he sipped at. Offensive.

Nevertheless, he spoke, asking “Is it winter break right now?”

Immediately Terra smirked against his coffee cup. What was that reaction supposed to mean? What was he hiding?

“Ven, winter isn’t even officially here yet. It’s the first day of December. The entire month of December isn’t off for break you know.”

Ventus brightened at the information, hands clenched with utter joy and pumped close and a bit painfully against his chest. “So I get to go to school again tomorrow?!”

“Seems like it.” His brother mused calmly, once more taking in some of his coffee. The only way he could bear his younger brother was being awake after all. Rude, but god was he a handful sometimes.

“Oh but wait, since we’re not doing anything today, wanna set up Christmas stuff with me?!” By the way the brown haired teen winced, Ven figured his volume was a bit high. He didn’t mind though. Being annoying was fun. Especially at his brother’s expense.

“Shouldn’t we set things up over break when we’re free?” Aqua chimed, easily causing Ventus to deflate any enthusiasm he had. Dampened quite dramatically, the boy huffed with a head hung just as notably.

“We’re not trying to blow you off, Ven. We need time to relax too.” Terra again. He was so gentle about it which was nice, but still upsetting that he had to wait for the holidays so long.

“Ven, shouldn’t you be studying for your finals anyway? They’re coming up and it would be bad if you flunked them.”

“What’s the worst that can happen from flunking them?”

“You get held back and end up the only adult in highschool.” His brother teased. “That would be pretty sad don’t you think, so you should probably be studying and then after finals, we can set stuff up for Christmas.”

He wanted to whine about how far away that was, but he actually wasn’t sure, leading him to ask “When are finals?”

“Two to three weeks.” Terra again. Man, Aqua was really invested in the cooking channel apparently. She was even sitting up, hunched forward and swatted for Ven to move. What was she so intent on watching?

Or well, he wanted to know, but that would be bad. He couldn’t afford to get hungry randomly and start eating everything again. Never again. So he focused on Terra instead after having moved in front of him and out of Aqua’s range. Oh look, she was taking notes. Now he was really curious since apparently they’d be having whatever was on tv soon.

“Ven, why did you ask a question just to ignore me?”

That snapped his thoughts back. He hadn’t looked away, but he blatantly spaced out. He supposed anyway if Terra’s snapping fingers in his face was anything to go off of.

“I was listening.” He insisted. He wasn’t, but Terra didn’t need to know that.

“Oh yeah, then what’d I say?”

Oh boy, now that he couldn’t answer. “Uhhh” Ventus attempted and failed miserably. Instead of keeping on track however, he saw mama cat trot down the stairs. “Matir!” He beamed, attention fully off Terra and now instead on the cat.

“Ven! You need to study!”

“Can’t, got a cat to love on!” The blond boy bolstered. He ran off, or rather rudely jumped between Terra and Aqua and bounded over the couch. Seeing him coming barreling at her, the cat darted back up the stairs, Ven hot on her trail and darting up on all fours like an animal. Reaching the top floor, Ventus lept after the feline. Of course he was careful to not injure her, but he pinned her down. It wasn’t long before he scooped her up from under himself and hugged her close, rubbing her fuzzy face against his own less than fuzzy one.

“Could you imagine if I had facial hair, Matir.” He practically gasped at the idea. “I’d be such a stud.” The cat appeared less than amused as it mrrred with displeasure.

“I’ve seen one future for you and it’s not half bad. You’re a drunken junkie with no real friends, but you get your wish to be surrounded by people that ‘love’ you.”

“How exactly is that only half bad? That sounds terrible.”

“And yet it’s still your wish to have quantity over quality. Maybe you should take that into consideration. You’re already doing it with your online community after all.”

He was hesitant at first, muttering out soon a small “I guess…” It was pretty pathetic and disheartening to hear such a fate, but he could change that couldn’t he. “Wait, you said that was one future, what are the others ones? Do you know?”

There was silence for a moment as if the cat was contemplating telling him. Such an odd statement, but he didn’t mind. It was a little nerve-wracking to wait so long for an answer though.

“Sorry, I was freeing people from a snowglobe now that I was finally in range.” To that, Ven cocked his head and brought the cat forward to look on with bewilderment. “You have two options currently. If you don’t control your temper, you’re going to get locked up in a psych ward or end up dead within a year. If you do succeed, you manage to go to college and fool everyone into loving you.”

“That sounds really really dismal, not gonna lie.” Hugging the cat close to his chest once more, he stood to wander to his room.

“You also only have four more years left overall no matter what you do, as when you reach twenty, your mind’s too broken for you to function correctly.”

His heart just about stopped at the information, breath hitching as he clung perhaps a tad too tightly to the cat in his arms. She squeaked and clawed at him but he didn’t let go. Instead, tears stung at his eyes and he uttered out a pathetic “Please stop, I don’t wanna know anymore.” His voice was just above a whisper, leading for him unable to hear it himself.

“Ventus, what I’m trying to tell you is that you don’t have much time. You need to stop fretting over everything and just live the life you have left. Enjoy yourself.”

He wasn’t given a moment’s notice before him and his mother were interrupted. Ven would have loved to be able to properly take in and absorb the information he was given, but no one else seemed keen on allowing such a thing.

“That’s perfect, Ventus!” Avaritia beamed. “That means you can’t be held back anymore. You don’t have time to be nor anything to lose.”

And just like that, everyone swarmed him, all piping up with their ideas. Get laid, Steal something. Graffiti something or break something. Gorge himself. That one didn’t sound half bad as right now he’d love to eat away his sorrows. The rest were going to land him in jail. Would it even be that bad though? He’d lose his mind in four years anyway, or even wind up locked up somewhere else if he couldn’t control his temper.

“Ventus!” The cat scolded. It was then that he realized just how tight he was holding the now struggling and yowling feline. With a gasp, he dropped momma cat to the ground, allowing her a quick sprint away from him and the room.

Now he was alone. Alone with nothing but wretched hallucinations that imposed on his will. Maybe he should give in though. He didn’t have much time left anyway. Plus he wanted to live. Maybe he could be like Jack, live a double life. There was nothing for him in this life.

Their voices kept chiming on and on about the things he should do. They were all so tempting for such a lost cause. Even then, there were still things he needed to do.

“Shut up!” The boy shouted rather abruptly. The sins did as demanded and ceased, all eyes on him. They were speechless as they stared vacantly at him. Was it absent though? He couldn’t tell with their masks on. One of the many times he’d love nothing more than to rip them off and see their true selves. Ven couldn’t touch them though. If he had the ability to, maybe he’d actually have a girlfriend even if he couldn’t see what she truly looked like.

Oh but wait, he did have a girlfriend. One he neglected quite a bit recently. Maybe he should give her a call to tell her he was alright. Ah but wait, he never received his phone back. And fuck, he’d been gone a month. His poor channel.

A bit dramatically, Ventus ran both hands down his face, dragging his eyelids down if only for them to spring back up upon release. Matir said to live. Live for as long as he had left. Don’t end up in jail or an institution. Maybe this was what he needed to hear to stop taking everything for granted. Right, and then at school he’d fix things there and live happily until he was twenty. He’d fix that too.

Instead of being a drunken junkie, he’d be himself. Just adore life. Be good to people. Make their lives better with the rest of his. That was his ultimate goal.

Well actually I guess I’m addicted to valium already.

He’d gone about a month without it though so this was a good step in the right direction. What else, what else? He supposed he could get back to his channel and do a video apologizing for his absence. Was that necessary though? That might come off as attention seeking and he didn’t want to be called out for that. He’d already been dismissed on his depression before after all so he opted to hide it from then on.

Maybe the channel could wait until he was in better spirits. Sure he didn’t use video feed, but they might be able to hear the strain of his voice if he tried to make a video now. He sure as hell wouldn’t be doing a face reveal either. He’d love to, immensely. To be loved by all those people? Amazing. But Terra forbade him from showing his face to the masses, for some reason. Probably for his own peace of mind. Damn that Terra.

Maybe he should just go to bed and wait for tomorrow. He was too antsy to speak to anyone at the moment. He just wanted to fix things already but argh it was only five. He’d be an old man if he went to bed now. Actually, all he had to do was take his pills and knock himself out for about twelve hours. It would still be a bit early, but he could live with that. He should apologize to Matir for squishing her before that though.

Off and out the room he went to scurry and scour the sizeable home. It didn’t take him long either. Despite being squashed, she sure didn’t go far. Instead, she was left pawing and mewing at their father’s bedroom door. Funny, usually it was open. Maybe he closed it by accident.

“I’ll let you in. It’s the least I can do anyway.” Just as he tried however, Ven failed. The door was locked. Odd for sure. He couldn’t have been home could he? Not that Ven would be able to hear even if he pressed his ear to the door. Should he pick the lock? Oh but what if his dad was having sex with someone. That would be new. Now he had to ask though.

He scooped up the little cat, much more gently this time around and caressed her black and white fur. Cradling her, the blond brought her down the hall and back down the steps to where his siblings continued watching tv. Getting a glance at it from this angle, it was so appetizing. He pulled Matir up to cover his mouth though, as if that would stop him from eating. Even then, Ventus did grind his teeth a bit.

He had more important things to deal with. Well not really, but they were better than eating. He really did have to work out all the excess food he ate in confinement so maybe he should skip dinner after all.

Still, the matter that he came down for. Ven walked up and behind the couch where the two sat. They both acknowledged him with a smile though kept watching their program. Or Aqua did anyway. Terra clearly didn’t trust him with a cat in hand. Not surprising, he’d tossed a flailing animal at Terra on numerous occasions. That wasn’t the plan today though. No, he actually had a goal right now.

“Why’s dad’s room locked?” He asked as cluelessly as possible. It wasn’t even on purpose either. He genuinely was just in the dark on something that to him was beyond odd.

“You really have to ask?” His brother remarked. What? Was it that obvious? Nevertheless, Ven nodded his head. The brunette looked a bit stern then, and when he carried on, it made sense. Unfortunate as it may be. “He didn’t want you stealing valium anymore.”

Even if it was his fault and he completely deserved it, Ven pouted. “I’ll just learn how to pick the lock so Matir can sleep on his bed. She wants in.” Not to mention he never needed to rely that much on his father’s stash. It would be too obvious if he stole too many of those anyway.

“You’ll just get in trouble. Just let her sleep in your room like usual.”

“No, she wants his room.” He insisted more firmly, holding the cat out to Terra as if her dangling and uncomfortable form would somehow change his mind. Being so close to him suddenly, Terra’s face scrunched up. He looked mad, but he didn’t show it any further than that.

So that’s how they felt.

Ven pulled Matir back to him, cradling her close and holding her less like a rag doll and more like a baby. To say the least, she wasn’t pleased. She mrred more, but other than that, she didn’t struggle. She laid against him, purring at his chest. Ven felt the rumbling in his body and held her closer, head bowing to burrow against her soft fluff. He sniffled as tears stung at his eyes but he wiped them off on Matir’s fur. A little rude, sure, but he didn’t want to show it to his siblings.

“Ven.” Terra spoke up again. It was with concern. That wasn’t good. That meant he was too obvious. He’d have to recover and hide it. Recover how though? He’d been so sad for so long, and he easily slipped back into it. Everything felt like daggers. How was he supposed to do anything like this?

The tears kept coming too, and soon they turned to sobs. His poor cat. He definitely couldn’t hide that very well, and he couldn’t stop either. It all just felt so hopeless. He’d be gone in four years. His family didn’t trust him. His friends at school didn’t trust him. What was he supposed to do?

All he had to do was fix things, but how? Were they even able to be fixed? Or were they irreparable? What was he supposed to do?

His mind racked itself for an answer. Before any could come up, he felt himself leave the floor. Ven brought his tear stained and snotty face from the cat and looked up to see Terra above him. Oh, he’d picked him up, like a bride to spare Matir.

“C’mon, let’s watch tv instead of wallowing again.”

Ventus still sniffled and cried lightly, but he ceased sobbing at least. Terra brought him around the couch to plop him between his own seat and Aqua’s. Said sister pulled her blue blanket over him to share, something even Terra partook in. It was a tight fit with such a massive form as their older brother’s, but they all managed after squeezing in together. Matir was still curled in Ventus’ arms, but he felt more at ease with this situation.

“Wanna watch a Disney movie, Ven? We can spare you the food network. I got the gist of what I need to do already, and I can pull up the recipe on my phone to make it later.”

Her voice was so soft, he couldn’t help but nod. Something nice to watch might help cheer him up. And with his siblings at that.

With their family accounts, they pulled up the streaming service Ven couldn’t do without. Which one could he really? He insisted on having them all with how often he watched tv. They picked one out, a favourite, and curled together. They’d make him snacks now, but that would be a gamble so they wouldn’t push their luck at the moment. A movie together would be fine for the time being. And they could all have a meal together when their father returned home for the night. A small bit of relaxation was all they needed.