You can imagine it. Thousands of war ships rumble from the ground. An earthquake of revenge breaking the white and reaching up into outer space. The sound of screeching metal. Engines moaning under the weight of snow. The fires and shouts of triumph and water falling from the sky, as war ships are baptized into our freedom. That's how I always pictured my fleet. Second guess me. I dare it. I'm a duchess. I pray you don't.

~Calissa Nylanis

There's a lot to say and I don't have much time to say it.

His face is red from the lights. I'm not sure which Mastal has come into the room today. They all look the same after a while. Their soldiers are just as bad. I know them more by their style of torture and mind games. I try not to look down at my body. I've been abused beyond a normal skin tone. There...I can't say a lot. You just have to believe me. This is so much. I regret myself. I'm losing myself in blurs.

I sigh as the Mastal grabs my numb arm. It aches. He leans close. I can feel his breath.

“What shall we read today?” he grins sadistically.

“You've lost...You've lost...,” I manage to say.

It was true the Mastals were about to lose the war in a decisive battle. The home world was set on attacking with all their might. It was a matter of when they would come and if I would break before then. The Mastals only needed a day to full destroy my fleet.

I never wanted the Mastals to kill me like Audris thought. I wasn't suicidal. I was hoping they would capture me. It was part of my plan. The home world couldn't afford to lose me as an ally. My fleet was ready to join them in battle. The only way the Mastals could win is if they found my fleet and destroyed it first. Everyone was afraid to act first and trust the other. One of us had to be the trigger. The trigger was me.

Letting the Mastals capture me put pressure on the home world to make their move against them. They couldn't risk me giving the Mastals the information that they needed. At any moment, I could give the Mastals the size and location of my fleet. I could give them what they wanted and it would be over for us all. The home world people knew this and would do anything to stop this from happening. I had united them to act quickly by threatening the loss of my mind. I had to do this carefully. Being taken by the Mastals was a valid threat as I was captured.

If I had just given myself to the Mastals, the home world would see it as a sign of weakness. An open battle with the Mastals would be far less likely. They would have underestimated my fleet even more. It had to look like I was fighting the Mastals effectively, when the Mastal's appeared to get their lucky break. Everything seemed to have fallen into place just like Seran told me.

For now, the Mastals hoped I was bluffing. They hoped my fleet wasn't strong enough to win the coming battle. I knew it was. The home world fleets were on their way. They weren't going to risk having a fleet less in the future. They had no choice now. They had to take the risk. Not taking it could be their future end. They could take minimal losses and disengage or decisively win now. Sending their entire fleet meant they believed in the strength of my fleet.

I did this for my people. They did it for me. The thought doubles in my mind and I repeat it to myself. My skin was peeling off my knuckles. The Mastal was furious. I could feel it. The stinging was unbearable. I was just sitting and watching hid dig into my hand with his armored knuckles. The shock was overcoming me. Was this really happening?

The Mastal stops, slamming his fists on the table. I'm not startled anymore by it. He walks around to my side of the table and grabs my jaw, squeezing it just enough to let me know he could snap it out of place. He needed me to speak. My eyes are forced into his and I look at my reflection on part of his visor. The soul was leaving my eyes. My eyes. From the silver of chimes to the gray of stone. I was shocked just to see how much pain I was holding back and experiencing. The rapes were coming again. I needed to hold out. Just a minute longer. The next minute could be the minute! The home world fleets were coming. Why was it taking them so long? Surely my fleet officers were waiting on stand by. I told Seran to tell them before I left. We both knew I would be captured. What was taking so long? I was... too much pain for me. The Mastal shouts at me. My mouth shakes as he tenses his arm in fury.

“What are these mountains? We've scanned them. We've searched them. We bombed them. We've destroyed them! There. Is. Nothing. There!”

The Mastal's words seemed to echo off the walls. He pounds the table causing the neon lights to flicker with the holograms. He kicks the table several times and turns the holograms off. He slams my face against the table. My nose is bleeding. My lip was gashed. I could feel my hair twist behind the back of my head. My head is pulled back. The Mastal's fingers were in my mouth now threatening to break my teeth one by one. His other hand was behind the back of my head, shaking with his wrath. There was an intense and crazy look in the Mastal's eyes. He wanted me to give up on my people. He wanted me to give up on Neon Love and fairy tales. He wanted me to give up on myself. I can't take this anymore!

Finally, the Mastal gives up for a while. He becomes calm suddenly.

“When the home world fleets arrive, we will kill them. I know about your lover now. We'll skin him alive and feed him to the evil Shasis. He'll scream like your father did when we murdered him! Did you know that, little bitch? We killed him. You'll be the one to do the same to your lover. I'll make you skin him alive. You'll hold his dead heart in your hands and feel the warmth of his blood in your ugly, little, twisted fingers. I promise you!”

The Mastal tries to gain his composure, but his rage was too filled with hysteria.

“We won't kill you..... Nylanis. We will make sure you suffer until the end. You will birth an army of unwanted children, before the rapes are even over. All you have to do is tell me. Tell me. Tell me and you are free. I swear it. I'm reasonable. What! Are! These! Mountains!!!!!!”

I stutter. Gobs of blood taste metallic in my mouth as the Mastal's leans close again. His sharp finger cuts my the inside of my cheek and tongue slowly. He pulls his hand away to let me speak. Without warning, he hits my face several times and stops. I try to touch my lip with my tongue just to see how bad it is. The side of my face was numbing in blood, but I muster strength. My eyes were brimming, but I had to remain strong. I had to stick to the plan. It was my plan all along.

“Mountains?” I choke. “Surely you don't believe in fairy tales?”

The truth was my fleet was never hidden under the mountains. That was just a ploy. It was a ploy all along. That was just a fairy tale. My fleet was gathered together under the frozen ocean, ready to break the ice and fly into the stars. The Shasis protected Elissa Moon with their fairy tales and poems. The Mountains were a lie. The Mastals had fallen for it. I still had my role to play, but the final blow was soon to be delivered.

A moment passes.

An alarm goes off and I rejoice. The home world fleets were attacking! The stations shakes from a nearby blast. I could hear frantic sirens and voices on the intercom. My fleet was coming soon to join them. I heard someone shout something on the intercom! I had prepared them for this moment. Suddenly, the door opens and another Mastal soldier stumbles in. I gasp. I manage to look into his eyes. It was Audris!

The Mastal reacts. He raises his arm. His power source turns on, adding strength to his armor. He swings with all his might, hoping to be-head me. I close my eyes. I hear a shout.

“No! Stop!... Lenoa!”

When I open my eyes I see Lenoa roll on the table. Her body rolls to the edge. She had jumped in front of me and took the blow herself. Her entire front had a gash across it and she lets out a whimper. There was blood everywhere. She starts to convulse as Kaloas jumps on the Mastal and tears off his outer shell. Kaloas sinks his claws and teeth into other section and peels the Mastal like an onion. The Mastal manages to throw Kaloas off of him avoid a bite to his neck. A few shots fly from a revolver, before Kaloas leaps against the wall and latches onto the Mastal again. The Mastal lets out a shriek. Kaloas clamps down on his arm and pins him partially to the ground. I watch as Audris stands over the Mastal with his revolver.

“Enjoy yourself.”

Crack...crack crack crack. Reload. Crack crack crack crack crack. When the noise stops ringing in my ears, the Mastal is dead. The station shakes. The neon lights flicker on, then off again, as its power source starts to fail. The shields would fail soon too. The room shakes violently again. I nearly fall over in my chair. There wasn't much time before the station was destroyed!

I look at Audris as he cuts the key on the Mastal's belt and begins to free me. For a second, it was as if he forget Lenoa was hurt. I don't think his concern for her ever left his mind. I think he was in pain and didn't want to face reality. I've never seen him focus so hard. I never saw him cuss and whisper to himself as he did.

As soon as I am free, Audris dashes to Lenoa. He shakes her body. Kaloas was whimpering. He could smell the death in the room and he had already given up. He was quiet, but no longer thinking. Audris shakes Lenoa again.

“Lenoa. It's ok. We we just have to try. Ok? Ok. It's not funny anymore. Wake up. We made it.....”

Audris looks at me and stops speaking. He looked like a child that was frantically searching for a hug in a room filled with hostile strangers. A child whose parents had just discarded him to the streets. I – I don't know what I was thinking exactly. The pain was coming back.

“We have to leave, Audris. We're going to die. We can't stay...”

Audris picks me up and makes a run for it.

“Audris! They're here!” I gasp. “My fleet is here!” I say with joy.

Audris tries to ignore me as hear him press a button.

The station shakes again and Audris curses. He presses the button again as flashes light up the hallway outside from explosions. Specks of light from energy weapons could be seen briefly outside the heavy window. The windows were blinding. Then dark. Then blinding. A battle was taking place. I hear metal grinding and twisting followed by two rumbles. A Mastal's voice shouts furious from the intercom speakers above, until an explosion cuts it dead. It was massive and above us.

A horrendous and deafening rumble overtakes us both. I feel Audris stumble back. I shut my eyes tight. My mouth opens to scream, but nothing comes out. High pitched ringing. I glance at the window. Part of the station had blown up and fragments of it were already being hurled toward the icy planet below.

“Come on! Open!” he shouts.

Audris kicks the button several times and an elevator door finally opens.

The elevator ride was short, but the experience was forever.

We enter a hallway. I could tell by the sound of Audris's feet against the metal floors. I open my eyes and see the metal floors moving quickly in and out of my sight in a blur. I close my eyes. I hear the banging of several engines. Escape pods were already being used. A brief fear that we wouldn't find one runs through my mind. We enter another room.

Crack! Crack!

I hear Audris fire and a Mastal soldier scream in pain. Bullets start to whiz by us. I hear soldiers shouting at each other in different languages. Mercenaries had suddenly switched sides. I hear the chirp of a grenade detector. More shooting. The sound of ricochets. My heart is pierced with fear at each noise. My body jerks as Audris lowers his body. For a moment, I was afraid he was shot and falling to the ground. Smoke stings my eyes. The gunfire fades as we move passed the skirmish. We stop moving.

I listen to Audris press another button. A mechanical hiss sounds. A door opens.

I hear snapping and manage to open my eyes. Sparks were falling on us from the ceiling above and the moaning of metal could be heard.

Another door automated door opens and another. We stop. I feel Audris jerk my body contemplating which way to go. Finally, he makes a decision among the many flashes from outside the space station. The battle was in full swing.

We manage to run through several tunnels. I was afraid there would be soldiers behind each of the last automated doors. The lights were blinking and warnings were screaming with the many fading alarms. Finally, we find an escape pod and Audris throws me in. He doesn't get in with me

“Where's Kaloas....Audris?”

Audris sets the course for my pod and looks into my eyes. He looked like a ghost.

“Audris aren't you coming? Get in Audris.”

My tears were rolling. For a moment, Audris just stood there. I tried to reason with him. I tried to tell him we could have a happy life together. He got to see the real me, the real me behind it all. I would let him have everything. I could explain. He would see. I brought up his wife. I told him how Kaloas killed her. I told him he didn't have to stay for Kaloas because Kaloas killed her, I pleaded. No matter what I said, nothing reached him. He had a blank and empty stare. None of my words affected him.

“I-I think. I think I'm going to stay and die.”

“No, Audris. We can help heal each other, I promise it will be ok, I promise...”

Audris pauses. His mouth was slightly open. He was trembling, lost in his search for words.

“My wife. Lenoa is.... I promised. Keep her safe...”

The door to the pod tries to shut, but I hold it open.

“I love you, Audris.... please. No more trauma. I'm real Audris. This is real. We can live a real life again. A happy real life! We're winning. We've won.” I was crying. I was crying endlessly.

For a brief moment, Audris regains his composure. He looks me in the eyes. His voice wavers.

“Let me get the girl in the end. I am nothing without her.....”

The silence of my tears. The sadness in his broken heart.

“....Let me have my fairy tale.”

The sound of the door shutting is one I can never forget. It was like I was his neon love. I wish I had spent more time with the friends I made. I wish I had told them my plans and what I hoped would happen. It's why I love and hate myself. It's why I love and hate Elissa Moon. It's filled with fairy tales. It's filled with harsh reality.