Just as I feel the attraction lessening slightly, the ground crumbles and a stray tree clotheslines me from my blindside, and everything turns black

I wake up again in a sizeable musty cavern. I think, at least, it is if I could see anything past my hand in this blessed fog.

A slight whoosh of wind assaults my nose with a putrid stench sending shivers down my back and up my tail.

Deafening echoes bombard my ears. Every little sound in this cave bouncing around amplifying one another in a cacophony of white noise

BADUMP-BADUMP-BADUMP

I crumple to the floor dry heaving, splashing the unknown but pungent liquid at my feet and rousing another round of enhanced echoes.

The world spins, squirming around me as if alive. Thump. Thump. Sizzle

I look down on my legs and arms now. For some reason, only raw flesh and bone remains.

Panic floods my mind. I’M MELTING!

I sprint forward in blind abandon, making some distance before tripping over and stumbling into a pile of trash, earth, and foliage

I flip over, sticks embedded in my body, every kind of liquid coating my figure, and unknown objects sticking out where they shouldn’t be.

Accepting my fate, I spread eagle on this trash pile where I belong. Knowing I’m filthier than anything else in here.

Seriously how am I still alive right now...

“Hey, identify, what’s my health status.”

HP: -50% Aliveity.

…

Huh?

“Oi identify. Are you malfunctioning?

-50? You saying negative fifty percent??? Is this a joke??!?!”

Probably

I…

I give up. I’m alive, and that’s all that matters.

My point of view slowly lowers, the pile of trash I’m resting on sinking into oblivion

I gotta find higher ground, Anakin!

I jump to my feet, blood spurting everywhere from my wounds, and dash forward blindly.

My bloody ears pick up a vague sound to the left, so I sprint in that direction

The sound gets closer and I can pick up what seems to be a language? People!? Do people live here?

A spotlight penetrates through the fog. Safety!

I reach its source pretty quickly and find not the bustling settlement I was expecting, but a tall decrepit lighthouse.

Decrepit it may be, it’s still in better shape than everything else in here so this’ll be my new base.

Now that I’m closer, I’m able to pick up the strange language I heard before in more detail.

-FTY, SAFE ZONE, HAVEN, SHELTER, SANCTUARY, REFUGE, -SA

I hear various nonsensical words or syllables of many languages but I get the gist that this is a good place thanks to autotranslate.

I feel around its cold stoneish wall for a door, the material seems old and weathered implying that it’s been here for quite a while but lacks any corrosive damage.

Surprising considering the stone melting acid of this beast. What material is this? Where did they get it?

I notice a shining outline on the wall, caked in some sort of unidentified filth.

Scraping it off with a plank I found lying around reveals a door made of the same weird material.

I don’t see a door handle anywhere, Do I need some sort of password? Open sesame?

... nothing

Is it fingerprint unlocked? Do I have to insert mana somewhere?

I give up and shout, ‘’OI LET ME IN’’ .

The door rumbles before sliding open.

…

‘’Wait that worked?!?’’

Of course. What kind of safe haven need a passcode to get in?

I-i dunno, a secure one?? aren't locks standard practice?

I stumble in through the front door, legs giving out from under me. I’m finally safe here.

Alright, status check. ‘’Identify, whats my health’’

HP: -124%, you should’ve died twice over.

‘’Oi im alive, arent it? Fix your dandy measurements already!’’

Fine ill do it myself.

Head: I can see and I can hear somewhat so it should be fine!

Arms: skeletal but both are present! My other arm seems to have regenerated since last time.

Torso: there’s a metal rod sticking out my gut and a tree branch impaled in my shoulder but breathing is still fine! Thankfully it missed all my vitals.

Tail: all the hair was burnt off but no other damage! Wait was it always this short…

Legs: my thighs are a little scarred but there’s nothing. Past. the. Knee…

‘’Where’d my legs go? Hey, identify how am I alive?!?’’

You spent too long thinking in front of the door that they dissolved away. You didn’t believe me before now, did you?

I don’t need your snide Identify, you barely help me out anyways

I lean against the wall staring down at my hands. Little more than tendons attached to white bone remaining, it’s a mystery how I can still move them without any muscles.

I grasp my hands around the rod sticking out of my stomach, giving it a good yank.

A gush of blood comes out to reveal... More rod. This thing impaled me all the way through.

I try again, putting my hands around this metal pole. I pull only to slip thanks to the generous coating of blood along the length of its shaft.

‘’Oh great. Just wonderful. I can’t even yoink a simple stick from my belly’’

Yeah, sucks to be you

‘’Yeah, it does… Wait.’’

‘’Suck!’’ suck suck suck

The bar gradually slides out from my body until I feel a certain pressure from the other end.

With one final heave and a loud tearing sound, I finally remove the metal stick from my body.

Taking a closer look at it, the metal rod turns out to be an ornamental spear! It would have looked beautiful without all the blood and guts clinging to it, the design seems fancy, possibly dwarven? Though I don’t know anything about weapon craft or world history I wonder where it came from.

...

A pulsating red glow distracts me from my thoughts, oh right I haven’t explored this building yet.

I look back at the entrance to find the door closed, is it automatic? Am I locked in?

I use suck to lighten my gravity and make my way down the hall. Somehow.

I reach another set of gates guarded by mechanical golems in the shape of knights.

Unlike the outside everything inside this building seems well maintained, the runes carved on these guardsmen still emanate a blue glow. Mana crystals embedded in their eye sockets flash as they spring to life.

‘’HALT. STATE YOUR PURPOSE, DISARM YOURSELF’’

With the sound of whirring engines and clanking metal the golem lifts its spear and blocks the door.

Wait, disarm? I barely have arms. OH, RIGHT I’m still carrying that spear.

I insert the spear in my inventory and float forwards with my arms up.

… Why didn’t you just.

‘’I-i surrender! I got swallowed by this monster and... Wait, can you understand me?’’

‘’SIGN OF NONAGGRESSION IDENTIFIED, YOU MAY ENTER’’

…

What was the point of telling me to state my purpose if I didn’t need to?

I enter the next room to be greeted by a large circular gathering hall, the roof seems to go upwards to the top of the tower, stairways spiral along the walls of this cylindrical type space leading to branching rooms of various sizes.

It kinda reminds me of a beehive or the leaning tower of Pisa. Some vaguely tower-shaped interior with a bunch of rooms on the side.

At the centre, I finally find the source of the pulsating red light.

A big red button just begging to be pressed.

Name: Sucksuke

Level: 61

Str: 125 (+60)

Sta: 59 (+4.64)

Race: Beastkin - Cat - Other?

Class: Assassin

Spd: 101 (+33.33)

Agi: 42 (+15.2)

HP: -124% aliveness

MP: --?

End: 50 (+8)

Vit: 47 (+10.11)

Unspent points: 10

Status: in lots of pain

Int: 40 (-8.14)

Wis: 33 (-3.72)

Skills

Titles

Cheat Skill: Succ lv 34

Restore lvl 22/50

Otherworlder

A kitty

Accuracy lvl 7/10

Item box lvl 11/20

The unchanging

Cheat skill holder

Night vision lvl 5/15

Identify, the only one with sense

Sucker

Main character

Catlike

Bad luck

Clutz

hold E to heal

Martial arts

cut me some slack

Pyrophobia

Hand to claw combat lvl 6/10

Sharp claws MAX

Superhuman strength

Snowball warrior

Swordbreaker style lvl 6/10

Summon sword style lvl 3/10

Dungeon diver

Cross-dresser

Party members

Baboon king

One who overcame calamity

Every Side Character - level 50 cardboard mage

Illuminate - level 39 light elf guide

Superhuman speed

An idiot