1621

May 1st

Constantinople, Ottoman Empire

‘Kabooooooom!’

“I...impossible! H...How...in the world...those Western barbarians...”

“Long live, Imperator Edward Julius Caesar Augustus!"

“Death to Muslims!”

While the Turks were in shock at the sight of the fleets 10th Crusade which abruptly – in their point of view – showed up at the Golden Horn, I – Imperator Edward Julius Cesar Agustus, the 1st Emperor of the New West Roman Empire and the Commander of the 10th Crusade – ordered the soldiers and knights to take the City.

At my words, 16,000 soldiers and knights landed in order, and then the Ottomans retaliated by firing cannons. But it was no use. Less than 10% of those were working properly, and even those rarely shot their enemy.

Even the soldiers who were assigned for the protection of the city barriers were less than 10% of what was required and they were poorly trained. Since they were rookies who were recently drafted, the walls were merely a house of cards to the 10, 000 marine corps and 6,000 knights of my 10th Crusade.

At that night, with most Turks in the city surrendered or fled – most of them were corrupt Janissaries – I have entered the Topkapi Palace with knights escorting me. Although the Sultan was absent – he was trapped and killed in Alexandroupoli 2 weeks ago – there were many beautiful wives and concubines of Harem and royal princes of the Ottoman Royals, thanks to the late Sultan Ahmed I, who locked up all his brothers in the palace.

Upon my arrival, an old wife of Harem – who seems to be the current leader of the Ottoman Turks – stood up before me.

“W...we, surrender. Y...you’ve won. This city is yours now. Please, show us mercy!”

“That’s not enough.”

I answered.

“W...What do you want? Treasure? There’re loads of gold and silver at the royal vaults! We can give you everything! P...please, have mercy!”

She knelt before me, crying.

But I neither want gold nor beautiful women. I just replied with my thumbs down.

“I.want.your.doom.just.like.you.did.to.Byzantine.”

“Oh, Allah, are you deserting the Ottoman...”

‘Slash!’

“Long live, New Roman Empire!”

“Long live, Imperator Edward Julius Caesar Agustus!"

“S.P.Q.R!”

In a split second, the knights all drew up their swords and stabbed the Ottoman royals and wives and concubines whom they were surrounding to prevent escape.

‘Split’

The Ottoman royals were all at once become corpses – the youth, the old, the pregnant, etc.

“Now, gather all the corpses and burn. We must not let single Ottoman royal live. Kill all the women in this palace - don’t spare even the lowest maids. They might bear a child of the Ottoman royal. Kill all the royal relatives of the Ottoman empire, even though they are remotely related. But spare the Eunuchs, they have their purpose.”

“Yes, Imperator.”

“It shall be done.”

After that, I turned my back and walked and sat on the Royal Throne of the palace.

“Nooooo!!!”

‘Slash’

“P...Please, have mercy...”

‘Slash’

“Allah...”

‘Slash’

As sounds of screaming and slashing swords and firing arrows in the palace and sounds of joy from Greeks and sighs of Muslims coming from the streets enters my ears, I closed my eyes and looked back on my life.

‘Oh, mother – Bloody Mary of England – are you watching me? Your son, who only inherited England from you 55years ago in 1564, is now sitting on the throne of Constantinople!’

‘Old man – Felipe 2nd of Spain – are you seeing this? After I’ve united the Western Europe and became The 1st Imperator of the New West Roman Empire – The King of Great Britain, The King of Netherlands, The King of Iberia(Spain and Portugal), The King of Italy, The Kaiser of the Holy Roman Empire(Germany?) - I’ve gathered 700,000 armies from all over Europe – My empire, France, The Scandinavian Kingdoms, and Poland – and with 3 Billion ￡, I’ve conquered the Ottomans! What say?’

Now, you might be wondering who I am?

I’m Edward VII, the son of Bloody Mary and Felipe 2nd, who didn’t exist in real history. I was once an Oxford Graduate, but thanks to that F***ing Brexit, I couldn’t find myself a decent job! And, when I was crossing the street after I drank a lot of beer at my favorite soccer team’s defeat, I had a car accident.

And when I regained consciousness, I was reborn, as a baby son of Bloody Mary! Holy S***!