Taranheim 181

Paris had business to take care of early in the morning, and so Gerta scrubbed me down and helped me dress in the morning instead.

I said to her excitedly, “Gerta! Guess what!”

She looked very tired, but she answered with a little bit of pep, “what?”

“I met these moths outside of the city!” I explained to her everything that had happened-including my new alliance with Meridi--and she seemed very impressed. She looked down sadly.

“You’re doing so well in pursuing this… I wish there was something more I could do. I get now why Daddy favored you so much.” Gerta said with a sigh. “You’re just so good at being likable. I never could have won that woman’s loyalty. I would have called her names and she would have killed me.”

I giggled a little, but then frowned. “You’re far more likable than me! You always worked so much harder! You still do today!”

Gerta smiled gently. “I hate your kindness. You’re so stupid and foolish—laying down your life in front of a hostile stranger and expecting her to spare you. But it actually worked!”

Gerta looked forward listlessly and continued, “I’m just glad you’re okay. Isn’t there anything I can do to help? I feel so worthless…”

I thought very deeply for a moment, and I came up with something. “I need more rumors to be spread about me… It has to be vague so Paris and his advisors don’t catch on that I spread them, but the other moths have to understand that I am working to free them and that I care about them.”

Gerta leaned her cheek on her hand and thought for a moment. “I want to say I should just outright tell the other slaves that you’re working to free them, but not all of them are to be trusted and the advisors have ears everywhere—especially with all the guards they have posted. How about… How about I sew them all something and say it was from you… Paris and his advisors know your sewing is quite… Poor compared to mine, so it would disprove any rumors that you sewed them yourself if they found out about it. I’ll say it’s a physical representation of your loyalty to them. The question is, what should I sew them?”

I was astounded at how good her idea was. I thought deeply for a moment before my attention turned to Caerwyn’s star sapphire sitting aside the tub. I replied, “make the ones who are fond of me small star-shaped pillows, so they know I am on their side.”

“That’s a great idea! They’ll probably remember the one you’re always wearing and they’ll understand that you’re looking out for them!”

There was a moment of silence between us as we smiled and I remembered everything I loved about Gerta.

Suddenly she cleared her throat with a deep breath after a moment. “Mimi, I’m going to have eggs soon.”

I gasped in surprise and squealed happily. “Seriously? Who’s the father?”

She took a deep breath before replying, “Morgan.”

“Oh…” That was good and bad news. Good that she was having children, but bad that their father wasn’t around. I said uncertainly, “that’s wonderful news! What are you going to name them?”

She looked away. “I can’t keep them. The humans won’t let me. They only let a set amount of moth slaves inhabit their cities, and Nui is at its max. I have no idea what to do. The physician told me as much and she said once your husband and his advisors find out, they’re going to step on my eggs to keep the moth population low. I beg you… I know I haven’t been the kindest sister, but please… Ask Paris to spare them.”

Tears came unbidden to her eyes and I gasped in utter horror at the fact that humans treated moth slaves so horribly. I said to Gerta, “of course I’ll ask him. There’s no way he’ll refuse me! Dry your tears, Gerta. I promise your children will survive.”

She looked absolutely downtrodden and hopeless. She didn’t believe me.

__

Every now and then, I still liked to listen in on Paris’ private meetings with his advisors—I could do it much more often now since Paris didn’t have guards following me all the time--and they had unfortunately heard about the incident with Terry yesterday.

“Your Majesty, from what we’ve heard, there was another moth in the city yesterday who ran off and was chased by your wife and her guard. From what we hear this moth she was chasing was a mage and had tried to take one of her guards captive. But one must wonder why she wouldn’t tell you about it?” One of his advisors informed Paris.

I glowered. They were always getting in my way!

“My King, I have implored you before to divorce this woman and marry a human wife. You cannot trust a moth. For all we know your wife arranged the capture of her own guard with this mage as her accomplice in an attempt to escape. She was seen leaving the city first, running away from your guard, Paul.” One of them said.

“Why do you listen to such obviously false rumors? If all that were true, she wouldn’t have come back at all yesterday. More importantly, she had two guards who are loyal to me to prevent her from leaving. If she were up to something they would have told me. Quit trying to slander. Just because she is a moth doesn’t mean she is a traitor. She has the same faith as we humans and she behaves as one of us—that makes her human enough for me.” Paris defended me a little less passionately and assuredly than usual. He sounded exhausted and weary. “She is sweet… She loves Nui, and she is a human through-and-through.”

“My King, you will not listen to reason! You are doing such a good job as king—surprisingly good! You could only do better with a proper wife who is loyal to you! And besides, there is the matter of her getting pregnant… I’m beginning to think it’s not possible.” Chimed in the other advisor.

There was a moment of silence before Paris replied darkly, “leave me.”

I heard the advisors walking my way and I quickly dashed off to my right before the advisors came out of the cabinet. I made sure they couldn’t see me before I fought a blooming sadness in my stomach. I touched my empty womb sadly with a sniffle.

All at once, bad memories and thoughts were overtaking me. I wanted to crawl back into bed and just hide from all my problems like I had when I first arrived at Nui. I sank to the floor against a wall around the corner of the hall where the cabinet stood and sank into a familiar misery for minutes.

If I didn’t get pregnant, it was likely Paris would divorce me. If he divorced me, I would become a slave or end up on the streets. Not only that, but if he divorced me I would no longer be in a position to help free the moths. I tucked my head in my knees and sobbed.

“My Queen.”

I looked up and saw Paul standing in front of me. He noticed my tears and knelt down next to me. “What’s wrong, My Lady?”

I looked away and dried my tears. “I’m okay.”

Paul looked very sympathetic. “You can tell me.”

“I… What if I don’t get pregnant? What will happen to me? I want children so badly, too. Ever since I was young.” I told him honestly. “I want Paris’, nobody else’s! Not even another moth’s!”

Paul sat next to me against the wall and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Paris loves you very much. He would never divorce you.”

“He will if he has those terrible advisors whispering poison in his ears every day!” I cried.

Paul looked around and said, “My Lady, we must go somewhere private if we are to talk of such things.”

After a moment he whispered. “We all know how charming you are, and you know how miserable Paris is without you. There’s no reason to fret. Besides, you have a goal to accomplish. You were late and Terry and I have been waiting for you at the castle gate.”

I was so happy to have help in my goals; if Paul hadn’t come to find me, I likely would have given up for the day and crawled back into bed. He and Terry were so good at rescuing me from the pit of despair. I let him help me up and I stood up tall before we headed to the castle gate and we rode out to the city.