14

I fling myself out of the way, tumbling to the banister and swing myself over, ready to make the thirty-foot jump down, when the shots stop. I pull myself back up and over, hoping that nobody below saw me. The guard is on his back, blood oozing from his chest and trickling out his mouth. He’s still alive.

At the back of the elevator, with blood splattered on the wall…. is Varan.

“Shit!” I hiss, rushing to his side. “Where’d he shoot you?”

Varan coughs, and blood sprays onto my hands. He grips his side in pain, like he’s experiencing the ultimate stomachache. “Am screwed,” he mutters.

“No you’re not. Not yet,” I reassure him, slipping his arm over my shoulder. “This is gonna hurt.”

The guard’s dying body stops the elevator door from closing as I heave the Swifter up and practically drag him.

“Oh shit… shit… stop… it hurts stop…” he breathes.

I pull him to the wider section of the catwalk behind a couple stacked metal crates or something, propping him up against the wall.

“Um… got to stop the bleeding, right?” I ask.

His head lolls deliriously.

You dumb piece of shit. This one is your fault. And freaking Varan of all people!

I can’t take off my uniform, if I do I’ll be shot on the spot, not that it had saved Varan. That leaves by jeans or… Rieka’s hoodie. My jeans won’t do much to stop the flow. Don’t be an ass.

I pull of the uniform coat and the hoodie, then tie it around the lanky redhead, who’s going into shock.

“Varan. Varan look at me,” I crouch in front of him, cupping his face.

His eyes struggle to focus. “I’m coming back for you. Wait here. Don’t do anything dumb. If anybody comes you say you were shot by an intruder, if they don’t believe you then put some holes in them alright? I’m going to regroup with the others.”

Varan nods. “Yeah. Will do.”

“Ok good.” I stand and start along the catwalk.

“Kallix!” Varan calls.

“Yes?”

“Come back for me, man. Please.”

“I will. Just hold on for a bit. And don’t you dare die.”

I break into a low run, scuttling along the catwalk. I make my way to a ladder against the wall and look at the men below me. Twenty to thirty. Might be able to pick off a lot of them from up here once the others get to me. Wait, how am I the first one here? That can’t make any sense, we must’ve taken the longest. This must be the only rendezvous sight… logically. Maybe there’s another ladder on the other side where they’re waiting for me. More probable.

I’m back on the catwalk, hustling directly over the huge molten centrifuge thing. Please no guard guy come now.

Everybody beneath me is too stressed out to notice me, and I reach the other side unharmed. No one is bloody there. Shit. They must’ve been caught up somewhere, I make for the elevator. Middle one first, if Malyk and Rieka had run into trouble, or not found anybody here like me, they would’ve gone to Reeler first.

I enter the elevator, anxiously check my gun as it goes up and the doors open. As soon as I’m out, a body crumples backwards at me. A guard. “Bloody hell,” I exclaim, diving behind a lab bench. Gunshots. Shoot, stop, reload. Shoot, stop, reload. It’s a shoot off. Two man.

I peep my head up and see the back of a guard firing at somebody ducking down behind another lab bench. A couple dead men in lab coats catch my eye.

I hold up my gun. I’ve got a perfect shot at the back of the guard’s head. Don’t need to kill anybody. You’ve already gotten someone killed, isn’t that good enough? The guard runs out and ducks down, meaning whoever is on the other side is about to shoot. I splay myself on the ground and crawl.

A full round of an automatic assault rifle ricochets off metal, before the guard stands back up. I vault over a counter, right to him, and slam my gun into the back of his head. As he slumps by my feet, I call, “He’s down!”

“Aw shit, Kallix!”

Reeler. The bastard is alive after all.

I slide over to him. “You good, chief?” I ask.

“Yeah. Ish. Bastard shot me in the arm. Bad graze,” he nods to the blood tear in his leather jacket.

“Barrlin?”

He shakes his head. “Dead. Son of a bitch got shot right through the head. Where’s Varan?”

“Still alive, but not for long. We’ve got to move quickly.”

Reeler nods, hauling himself up.

We trot like soldiers back to the elevator and slip inside. “Malyk and Rieka?”

“I dunno. Going to check on them next.”

Reeler shakes his head. “Rieka’s fine. That girl’s a cockroach I tell you, can’t get killed. Dunno about your friend through. Get back to Varan and get him out.”

“But-”

“That’s an order, Kallix. I’ll see what I can do about this centrifuge thing. Alright? Malyk and Rieka should have my back.”

Never before have I taken orders. Never before I have listened to a man of authority. I’m not sure why right now it’s different.

The elevators open and we part ways. Hunched over, running as fast as I can, I cross the catwalk. Like a cockroach, I’m unseen.

I see the tops of his ginger hair pocking up from behind the crates. Thank the world. “Varan,” I call. “C’mon, we’re getting out of here.”

Varan doesn’t respond.

I crouch down in front of him. “Hey,” slap his face. “Hey wake up!”

His skin is cold to the touch.

“Wake up you bitch! Wake up!” I shout.

Varan is dead. The bastard is dead. He died on me. He lied. I didn’t make it back in time. I lied. No… I came back for him. It’s not my fault… his blood is literally still on my hands, smeared onto the handle of my gun.

I tip over next to him. “Shit,” I sigh, blinking and squinting. I slam my fist into my shoulder. I can’t reach my pocket with the jumpsuit on. The tension throbs. Varan’s cold fingers brush against mine.

I sniff and stand. Living people still need me. People I can avoid getting killed like him. I until Rieka’s sweater, saturated with wet, dripping blood, and tie it around my waist.

Back across the catwalk I go. A cockroach, scuttling back and forth in your ceiling. When I reach the other side, I see Reeler, crouched behind some sort of cart, gun in hand. He peers over, not noticing me.

Get down and help him you piece of shit! Damn piece of shit he’s going to die alone! Malyk and Rieka first. Need to get them out of whatever shit’s happening to them. I’d rather Reeler die than them. These are people that I actually care about, some of the few. I’m not going to let them go. Not because of me. Not because of something I found and led them into.

I charge to the third elevator and hammer the button. I hear it moving, thrumming against the wall until the doors slide open.

My gun falls from my hands.

Malyk’s pressed Rieka to the wall, her legs wrapped around his waist, her hands in his hair, hers on her ass and her lips against his.

They notice me and separate as fast as possible. I’m too stunned to move.

Both of them look like they’re searching for words.

My friends. My literal only friends. The ones I didn’t destroy. The ones I didn’t poison against me. The ones that stuck to me after I left them to die. This is … what they do.

Rieka then notices the blood on the hoodie around my waist. “Oh my god, Kallix are you hurt?” she asks, concern in her eyes. Her beautiful, transfixing, hypnotic eyes. She bends over to check, but my palm makes contact with her face faster than I can tell. She cries out in alarm and stumbles against the wall. Malyk moves to her, but my fist reaches his cheek before he can.

“You told me you were a queer!” I scream rocketing my fist into his stomach.

“I’m bi,” he gasps as I kick his knee, making him buckle.

“Kallix,” Rieka says, “Let me expl-” My hand is against her throat. She’s slammed against the wall like she had been a moment earlier. My grip tightens, and her face flushes red. It’s the same like when I kissed her. When I kissed her damn slutty lips.

Her leg flies up, around my arm, twisting me so my shoulder nearly pops from its socket, and my head knocks against the elevator wall with momentum.

Before Malyk, her or I can do anything else, gunshots cut us off. From my bleary vision, I see Reeler tearing towards us gun firing behind him. A shot hits his shoulder, making him stumble, then another one behind his knee, crippling him. The final rips through his chest, and strait into the elevator, just past Malyk.

The last I see of him is his still breathing body being flung aside as a guard charges the last few feet towards us. The scene repeats. A guard outside. A tall man with a gun inside. My tossing myself out of the way, just in time.

Except this time, the results are different. As the elevator door closes, and begins its ascent, the guard, now gun-less, slams Malyk to the wall. Malyk’s gun, busted from the bullet’s it took, clatter to the ground, useless. Rieka, who was gun-less, recovers, and launches herself at the guard, wrapping him in a headlock. He spins, slamming her into the wall, then grabbing the back of her head with both his hands and flipping her over him onto the ground.

My gun never entered the elevator, which I now regret as the guard throws a cannonball powered punch at me. I duck, letting it hit the metal wall, and give him all I have to his stomach, but it’s like punching a wooden post. His next punch hits my chest, and my lungs practically flatten as I crumple to the ground. His third punch would’ve killed me if Malyk hadn’t body checked him into the wall.

The elevator doors open. I run. Rieka runs. Malyk runs.

By the time we reach the end of the blue hall, two guards stand in our way. Luckily, we reach them before they can unholster their weapons, turning them into a stone wall instead.

Rieka dives between them, landing with a graceful roll. I leap, but a thick, strong arm grabs me, making my legs swing forwards with momentum. Malyk crashes into the guard, thereby loosening the guard’s grip on me, and allowing my to scramble free.

I veer left ducking as gunshots erupt behind me and tear up the stairs towards the exit. I pass the empty experiment hall, then blitz through the security camera room, flying over the tables and smashing monitors and scrambling into the final length towards the exit.

I skid to a halt as I see Rieka grappling with a disarmed guard before me. Malyk crashes around behind me.

No stopping. Never stop swimming. When sharks stop swimming, they die.

I rocket forwards, adrenaline forcing my body onto overdrive, and launch myself over the grappling pair, landing with a clumsy roll and flying up the stairs.

I reach the metal beam, walking so fast I’m sure I’m about to slip, then fling myself onto the shelf. I tip the ladder down, barely stopping to secure it, and grab the rungs. I cover my hands with my sleeves, hold the sides of the ladder and let myself slide down.

The landing nearly cracks my ankles, but I can’t stop. I run, the last hundred meter sprint, the last distance before the wolf catches his prey, the last stretch before the cockroach escapes under the couch.

Gunshots. A scream. Something tipping over and crashing to the ground. I smash through the worker lounge, toss myself over the glass cubicle teller wall, and out the door. I run. I run like a cheetah. I run like a deer. I run faster than I would’ve through possible, until I tumble onto the roadside, chest heaving and breathing faster than a small dog.

More gunshots. I haul myself to my feet. I don’t look back. I limp forwards, down the street. Over my shoulder I see Rieka blast out of the doors and tear down the street, right towards me.

Before I can turn, she tackles me to the grass between two buildings and presses a finger to my lip.

I’m fuming as she holds herself on top of me, pressed against me. Her delicious smelling hair falling into my face. Her small, yet perfectly shaped breasts pressing against my chest. Her right thigh, soft and defined, against my penis.

I hear the heavy boots of the guards run past us down the street. As soon as they’re gone, I throw her off me.

“You bitch!” I holler.

“Shh! They’ll hear us!”

“To hell with you! Damn asshole! Go find yourself a new sugardaddy!”

“Kallix I swear I can explain.”

I limp off, but she follows me. I’m about to turn and try and tell her off again when somebody tumbles into my path.

Deqar. “You’re alive!” he exclaims, hugging me and Rieka together. “Holy shit, man what the hell happened? We thought they killed you guys.”

I rip the hoodie from around my waist and shove it into his hands. A soft, hill of dazzlingly green grass stands before us, as I plow past him.

“Wha… who’s blood is this?”

“Varan,” I mutter over my shoulder.

Deqar’s mouth goes slack.

Rieka runs up to me and grabs my wrist. “Kallix, I’m sorry. I swear I can-”

“What is it with you?” I ask, swinging around. “You’re such a… slutty piece of shit! You seduced me up on the sky scraper to try and get my to join Zorikan-”

“I didn’t even know who you were!” she protests.

“Bullshit! You’re his little pet! And then I nearly forgive you, because of your damn puppy eyes! Freaking go be an actor somewhere else ok! Not with my life! Don’t screw around with my life! Malyk was my friend!” I scream.

Rieka is crying now. Her tears look so real. They’re fake. I know they’re fake. I so desperately want to break her nose yet comfort her at the same time. “Kallix, please,” she sobs.

“Guys,” Deqar says, wiping his nose. His dark eyeliner dips down his sun tarnished cheeks. “Zorikan will be expecting us.”

“You… you’re going back to him?” I ask, incredulously.

Deqar shakes his head, handing me back the blood-soaked hoodie. “No. Not after this.”

“I bet you will,” I tell Rieka. “Bloody shit!”

“Kallix, you don’t understand. I have to.”

“No! No, you don’t. Now just buzz off and go rub your vagina in somebody else’s face.”

~

I pop the fourth pill in an hour. I can feel the overdose on its way. I don’t give a damn. Screw it, worst case scenario I end up in a hospital and bust out the next day. Kaloaan pays them off.

I’m dreary as I limp down the road. I stuff the stolen uniform down a gutter, don’t want that thing associated with me when the cops find bodies. If they find bodies. That left me shirtless on a starkly cold night. A few, stinging snowflakes burn against my bare skin. I don’t want to do it, but I have to. It makes me gag as I put on the blood caked hoodie. It smells like fish and iron, and scratches against my skin, but shields me from the wind’s bite.

I stumble through the open door, and up the stairs. I knew that eventually I’d find myself back here, I just didn’t think it would be so soon. I rap my rad knuckles against the door.

It opens, and I find the warm smile of Kezlin before me. Her smile disappears in an instant as she sees the raggedy, haggard sac of bones before her, held together by jizz and blood.

“Hi,” I smile.

“Kallix,” she hisses. “What the hell are you wearing? Is that blood?”

I sniff. Whether it’s from the cold or my bitch ass emotions, I’m unsure. “Can I… stay with you for a bit. I’m having a bit of a rough time and I-”

She steps outside and shuts the door behind her. “Kallix I’m sorry but you have to leave.”

“What? Why? Kezlin I-”

“No, Kallix. I have a boyfriend. He’s inside sleeping right now. You didn’t think that you and me were a…”

“Oh. No, of course not.”

“Sorryyyyyy. No hard feelings though, right?”

I blink. “Yeah. Totally.”

“Thanks!” she says, cheerfully, slipping back inside and shutting the door.

The brief flash of warmth hits me, making my heart tingle.

Like a zombie, I limp on, down the stairs and out onto the now blizzarding streets. Zombies don’t feel anything. Zombies can’t get hurt.

Another pill. A tiny bit of my pain gone. No tension. Only numbness. Another pill, another piece gone. This is better. This is easier. One more. Bastard. Too many... might overdose. Who cares? Who bloody cares of Kallix Rane, the trash raccoon cockroach, street dog overdoses and dies on the streets? Nobody. Obviously. Because you’ve chased them away, or they’ve chased you. It’s an endless cycle. It’s not difficult. It’s why you’re so freaking lonely. I’m not lonely. I’m alone. There’s a difference. A lone wolf is always stronger with a pack, but it survives on its own. That’s what I do. I survive. I survive… but there’s no point… if I come out a zombie. Another pill. Another step closer. Mindlessness is better than anxious, gut-wrenching self-loathing, isn’t it? The goldfish is happier than its narcissistic owner, is it not? Another pill won't harm now, right? After you’ve crossed the limit, you can’t get any worse, right? Pumping a dead body with cocaine won’t change anything. What about a zombie? How would a zombie take it? This is how. By curling up on the side of the road next to a trash can and letting the snow overflow him. Letting the cold engulf him.

This is me. I’m all that’s left of what I once was.

The skin of a wolf.

The shell of a cockroach.

A zombie is all that remains.