13

“I know you’re new here, and I doubt you had anything to do with this, but I’m obligated to follow common procedure,” says Principal Lohib.

I gaze at him, my emotions buried under a stony mask. “Ask away.”

He takes a sip of water and then stares me directly in the eye. His square jaw, thin hair and flat nose all point out his striking resemblance with Davrin. I bet he wasn’t questioned about this. “Where were you last night.”

“In my bed, like I was supposed to be.”

Lohib nods. “And what is you’re relation with Terrel Winshensel?”

I shrug. “What’s my relationship with anybody here? It’s been less than a week. He’s been nicer to me than the others.”

Lohib coughs. “Alright. We have other suspects, including Jarden Hesh, Yannis Vulguf and Tornaan Tiaka. Do you have any idea where they were last night?”

Yannis’s last name is Vulguf? That is the most unfitting thing in the world.

Wait, he’s expecting me to answer. Say something. Say something, idiot.

“Do I even know who they are?” I ask, with a slight smile. Works on girls, maybe it will work on this ogre with a superiority complex.

“Well… yes, you do. I’ve been told you have actually been spending some time with Yannis and Terrel both,” Lohib says, his face darkening ever so slightly.

Damn. I underestimated him. And damn Davrin too, that snitch ass bitch. “Ok, fine you caught me. I have been hanging out with them. A little. I mean, I try to stick to myself as much as I can, but Terrel seems to be the outgoing type. That’s probably why he got himself into such a mess.”

What kind of an answer was that? Dumbass!

“You have very heavy eyeshades, for a sixteen year old,” Lohib presses.

“I always have.”

“You said you were asleep last night?”

“I said I was in bed. I’ve got chronic insomnia, so I didn’t get much sleep.”

Lohib’s lips stretch into a weird expression. “Alright then. You’re free to leave.”

I hope I don’t look as pale as I seem. I’ve gone through interrogations from the police a couple times before. Why was this so stressful?

The door shuts softly behind me, and I walk past a line of students, all sitting hunched together on the metal chairs that line the hall to the principal’s office. I spot Arika, but I don’t make any eye contact with her. She’s not my issue. She’s not my friend. She can fend for herself… just like you let Yarika do? Just like you let her die there… that’s what you’re going to do here.

Shut up. Get a grip. Stop being irrational. That wasn’t my fault, and neither was this. C’mon I’ve got shit to do.

No, I don’t. I don’t have jack shit to do besides fail more tests. I’ve got to…

Time slows as I notice Laila, a little way of a branching hall of lockers, teary eyed with streaks of makeup running down her cheeks. Davrin’s rectangular form looms a pace away, a pained expression on his meaty face.

“What’re you looking at, weasel? Buzz off!” he shouts at me.

No comment. Not my business. Not my business at all.

I fix my stare on the ground ahead of me for the rest of the walk back to class. It’s weird how there are little sparkles in the synthetic floor stone.

~

“Hey dude, I told you bro, it’s alright,” Terrel says with his imminent, relentless smile. Through hell and fire, this bastard refuses to stop smiling. No, he has no idea what hell is. Deqar did…

“I’m sorry mate,” I mutter.

“Dude calm down, if Yannis could’ve run like you, he would’ve.”

“Did you… get in any trouble?”

“Well, yeah. A couple detentions and a letter to my parents, but hell if they care. It’s not the first time I’ve gotten into shit. I know how to handle this stuff.”

Arika plops herself down across from me, spilling some of her juice on the blue lunch table. “Hey.”

I nod.

“Ah shit guys, let’s not make this awkward,” Terrel says. “I’m literally just bruised. C’mon guys it’s alright.”

“Where’s Yannis?” Arika asks.

“Oh shit I was supposed to attend his debate on political correctness!” Terrel shouts, taking off.

I snicker. “Is he just going to leave his shit here?” I ask, eyeing his food. It’s grey and mushy. My stomach’s complaint at being empty suddenly stop.

Arika swallows heavily. “Why don’t you like me?” she asks, abruptly.

“What?” I respond, taken aback.

“Yeah, what’s your problem with me? After school, on the roof… it’s like you’re avoiding me or something.”

“I’m not avoiding you,” I respond, blankly. What the hell? What happened to laying low? No drama, remember? Damnit.

“So then?”

Not the truth. No way in goddamn hell am I telling her the truth.

“Fine. Just stare at me, like always. What’s up with you and staring? Your eyes are locked onto something, yet moving like they’re on cocaine.”

I shift my position. Can I just leave? Am I allowed to do that?

“And you have no social media whatsoever. Zero online presence.”

“You looked me up?”

“Yes, because that’s what people do nowadays. You don’t exist Tallin.”

Kallix. “Relax Arika. I’m sorry. It’s just that…”

“Tallin?” Principal Lohib’s eerily steely voice hits the back of my head like a club. I glance over my shoulder. Navy blue linen. I want to vomit.

“Yes?”

“I need you in my office. Now.”

“Um… alright,” I murmur, standing up with my cup. I down the juice, forcing the artificialness down my throat. Why can’t I just eat rotten trash instead of this diluted plastic with sugar?

Arika doesn’t look up from her food as I try to make eye contact with her. What is this about? Did she snitch on me? That bitch, to think I trusted her. Oh damnit I might need to make a run. How… the crowds will give me cover to get to my dorm, and I can probably make it across the field before anybody can reach me… but the electric fence? Shit, how electric is it? Will it kill me? Damnit what am I supposed to do now?

We reach his office, and I’d felt more dread entering the police station when I got arrested. I sink into the sessel, situated across his desk, designed to make me feel small. Screw him. How can I be intimidated by a freaking high school principal?

He exhales extensively, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Were you expelled from your previous school?” he asks me.

“What? No!”

“Look, Tallin… I’m not sure you understand how the rules of our school operate.”

“What… do you mean?”

He pulls a heavy cigar from his pocket and lights it, taking a deep puff before he continues. “I don’t know how you’ve been raised, or what the rules were in your previous school were, but in this institute, none of such behavior is tolerated in the slightest.”

“What the hell did I do!” I shout. Damnit. Mistake.

Lohib blinks and gives me an antagonizing minute to settle. If I were a cat, the hairs on my back would be tall and rigid. “Stop acting like you are unaware of your action.”

I stare at him in silence, desperately trying to pat down the fire in my eyes.

After a moment passes, he leans forward until his breath, like smoke and synthetic beef, wafts over my face. “Laila Feyn was reported for being a victim of sexual harassment… by your hands.”

I gawk at him as the seconds crash onto my head like boulders. “Wh…wh…what? How on… what the hell?”

“Please refrain from using profane language when addressing me, Tallin.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“This is a matter of utmost seriousness. I’ve contacted Tauren Ksura, your… guardian. She’ll be arriving here shortly and I will discuss the matter with her to work out your punishment.”

I can’t even speak. Laila? She moved on me! What the actual hell. Screw that bitch! I swear I’m going to kill her! I swear to freaking whatever that I am going to kill that bitch. “Can I talk to Laila?” Shit, wrong move.

“Certainly not,” Lohib says, his words are a sword made of stone. Clunky, heavy, well refined, but they shouldn’t be able to best me. How the hell did this happen. Freaking hell, what will I even tell Tauren? “You will wait outside my office until she arrives,” Principal Lohib continues, “And you shall talk to nobody.”

~

“You know I didn’t do it,” I assert, walking after her.

“Yes, I know you didn’t do it,” Tauren responds, dressed far to formally for me to be comfortable with. She looks like an actual, mature, got-her-shit-together adult. “But that’s not what this is about.”

“So then? Am I getting expelled? Can I stay with you again?” I ask, a spark of hope kindling in me. Damnit, since when did I get ordered around like a little bitch. Why am I asking for her permission?

Oh yeah, because I’ll freaking die otherwise.

She shakes her head sternly. Tauren and stern don’t go together in the slightest. “No, you aren’t and no you can’t.”

We reach the gate of the school. “At least give me an update,” I whisper as she collects her things from the guard.

She turns back around and lets her adult expression melt off for a moment, and I see the good old, fun loving, reckless and loving Tauren that I’ve known for so long. “Kallix I’m sorry you have to do this, and I know it must be torture for you, but the longer I’m here, the greater the chance that you’re discovered and I’m found. Me being here puts both of us at risk. I have to go.”

“Damnit Tauren please,” I mutter.

Her green eyes contort my soul. I turn away. She makes for the gate.

“Tauren wait.”

She stops.

“Be safe,” I mutter, embracing her.

She hugs me back, and for a moment, I’m safe in her warmth. Her shield of love blasts off the torrent in my brain and gunshot echoes in my ears. “Kaloaan’s better. He’ll be able to spearhead the assault.”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” I respond.

Her expression is painful. At least I don’t have to look at it for very long, as it’s quickly replaced by the sound of a heavy SUV engine starting and my heartbeat speeding up again.

Back alone in prison.

Damnit. Damnit damnit damn this damn place.

“Ohhhh shiiiiiit!” I hear the guttural mob cry of Davrin and his cronies. “Who is that?”

“Is it your mom or your sister?” Feraq asks, directly at Davrin’s side.

I exhale sharply, letting my nostrils flare. I’m trying to think of a response that won’t get me beaten to a pulp, when Davrin leans close to me. “Either way,” he whispers, “I’m gonna bone her until her eyes roll back into her head and she calls me daddy.”

My bicep twitches. Too many. Too damn many of them. “Do whatever you want. Doesn’t affect me,” I mutter, turning away from them.

The guard is blocking my path. “No students are allowed this near to the gate during school hours, please return to class. Your breaktime is nearly over.”

“Sorry.”

“Yeah, sorry sir,” Davrin responds, with mock respect. He’s disgusting. I’m the one who’s supposed to be giving people mock respect.

I pace towards my class, unsure if I should break out into a complete run. It’s useless, honestly. If I escape him now, he’ll just find me again in the dormitory. I can run as much as I want but I’m in a cage. I’m a rat in a cage and he’s my owner, staring at me through the little grills. Shit.

But no, apparently this time he doesn’t want to bide his time. He wants me now.

“Do think her tits taste as good as they look?” Feraq asks Davrin at the top of his lungs. Why are there no other students around?

“Even better,” Davrin shouts. “Last night they were sooooo good… I bit them until her nipples nearly popped off.”

Keep walking. Keep goddamn walking.

“And what about her vagina?”

“Freaking hell it bled! My dick was way to big for her. I practically tore it open, pulled her hair and slapped that juicy ass.”

Don’t stop walking. Nobody can talk about Tauren like that. That’s utterly grotesque.

“Hey Tallin. You want some sloppy seconds? Maybe you can wank while you watch me with her tonight?”

I turn on my heel and stare him dead in the eye. He’s still ten paces from me, with Feraq. I can outrun him easily. One hit and I’ll disappear. I just have to…

The ground slams into my face. Shit. Owwwww.

Like crow caws in rapid slow motion, laughter flaps around me. Damnit. Pick yourself up, coward.

“Get up, punk,” Davrin spits.

I get to my knees. Damnit, my cheek is bleeding. How did that?... oh, two more of them behind me. Nice. Perfect, honestly.

I stand, facing him. Four in total, and nothing at all to climb. They’re too near for me to even attempt to zigzag. How can I even… is that Laila?

I see her over Davrin’s shoulder, standing a few feet behind him, pink sneakers and a flowery skirt. That bitch came to see me die.

“What do you want?” I demand, straight to the puppet duke himself.

“You to understand your place,” he responds, shoving me square in the chest. I stagger into another of his crew, who kicks at my knees, taking me down again.

“I said get up, punk!” Davrin shouts, pulling me up by my collar. Where the hell are all the teachers now?

I stare him dead in the eye, pulling everything I’ve learnt from Zorikan together. He flinches, but only for the briefest moment. “Here’s what’s going to happen,” he starts, “I’m going to punch you in the face, and then I’ll do it again and again and again until I’m satisfied that your nose is broken enough. Ok?”

I huff. “Jokes on you; it’s already broken.”

“I swear to god you little shit-”

“Davrin stop!”

Laila? I wonder.

“Laila?” he asks.

“Please. Stop it, would you?”

He drops me. I feign a crumple to my knees.

“Why?” he asks.

“I don’t want you to hurt him. He… he didn’t do anything.”

What?

“Are you insane?” Davrin cries, “I saw what he did to you.”

I force myself to stay down, pretending to cower. I can see Feraq and one other dude from here. There eyes are locked on Davrin and Laila, not me. This might be my chance.

“He didn’t do anything. I swear it was…” Laila’s voice trails off.

Then she screams.

I bolt, straight beside Davrin and take the hell off.

She cries out in pain again.

Run. Keep running. Don’t stop goddamn running.

I reach the threshold for the hallway of classrooms and stop. I’m not being followed. Like the idiot I am, I risk a glance over my shoulder.

Davrin’s hand has all of Laila’s neck in it. Her eyes are teary and he’s whispering something in her ear. Freaking hell. Why are there monsters everywhere?

~

There are monsters everywhere because I live in a monster farm. We all do. Funnily, the only way to escape this monster farm, metaphorically of course, is to realize that we aren’t the good one, surrounded by all these monsters, but rather a monster being farmed just like everyone else. Once you’ve done that, you might be slightly less of a monster. Slightly, maybe not at all, but is a self-aware monster any less of a monster? No. It doesn’t matter what goes on in your mind, whether you feel bad about the things you do, or regret or remorse, it’s the things themselves that matter. If a monster kills somebody, feeling bad about it doesn’t make the deed any better. Actually, it makes it worse, because a regular monster might not entirely know the consequences of their actions and understand that the other monster, they’ve killed is just like them. But a self-aware monster? This one knows what its doing and it understands the consequences, yet it’s still done it. That’s the horrible part. That’s why I’m worse.

But it’s a good thing that all of that is total bullshit. Besides the part about being in a monster farm, of course. And the rest of it too.

I sigh.

I hand in the exam and tread lightly through the crowds, my eyes scanning for the monster that hunts me. Worse monster or not, he’s a bigger one. And he’s got a pack.