She's trembling, but only just enough that I or another Umbran would notice. Otherwise, her stride is steady. She pauses a pace away from the gate. Turns enough to look back at us—at me, E.J, and Lore in particular. She smiles, and then she walks into the darkness of the gate.

As the heartbeats drag by, I feel something other than panic building inside me. Either an earth-shattering scream, or a stream of vomit. Maybe both at once. A flare of Umbral energy crackles to life in its wake.

Then a sudden, almost forceful sense of calm descends over me like a heavy blanket. I'm confused at first, but after a heartbeat I catch on—looking up to meet the scarlet eyes of the regal woman standing to the right of the gate, her focus centered entirely on me.

As stifling as the feeling is, I'm grateful for it—though it's followed by a sudden pang of renewed, if muffled, heartbreak. If only E.J. hadn't been so deficient in this Crimson ability, we'd probably never have—

But the futile thought is cut short when, to an explosion of applause and cries of relief, Beatrice emerges.

Tears stream down my cheeks as I run forward to help her to her feet. I'm just a few paces away with E.J. close at my heels when a pair of branches burst from Beatrice's back and shoulders. An instant later they're covered over in leaves and bright yellow flowers. By the time I reach her side, she's swaying in a cloud of pollen, a look of drunken euphoria on her face.

E.J. whips a handkerchief out of her pocket to cover her mouth and nose as she comes up to Bee's other side and loops a supporting arm about her back.

"Don't breathe that stuff in, she hasn't got control of her power yet—"

But it's too late. My lips are already curling upward, my legs swaying beneath me. I do my best to help E.J. get Beatrice off to the side, but all I want to do is collapse into a giggling puddle. Bee and I do just that as E.J. deposits us on the sidelines. I catch Leon's gaze as he looks worriedly over from the main group and give him a huge smile and a wave. Covering his own face after a glance at E.J, he strides over to sit with us. I toss an arm around his shoulder, squishing my cheek up against his.

"Leon, I—"

We're all distracted a second later as the next person edges up to the gate. A large man covered in tattoos who looks somewhere around my age, I don't recognize him at all. He makes it through, too—and at first I can't tell what he's become. Then his skin begins to roughen, turning a blue-gray shot through with veins of black as armor-like segments form over his skin. A Petran.

The three people after him don't make it through. The fourth turns back, joining the one who'd vomited in the bush. The fifth, a tall woman with pale skin and ashy blonde hair whom I remember vaguely from some of E.J.'s business functions, emerges a Reaper. I only know because when she comes to stand just a little ways off from us, she glares down at me—her golden gaze piercing. Appraising.

After her, we have another loss. Then a Shifter, then another Viridian. Two more losses. Then Lore makes her way forward. Even in her loopy state, Beatrice clings to my arm, her eyes wide as her friend makes the crossing...and reappears a Crimson. The central crowd is dwindling, and Leon begins to fidget. Then he pulls his silk scarf down from around his face, and breathes deep of the pollen.

Twisting around to face me with a grin, he leans forward in a sudden, hard hug. I squeeze him back, breathing in his scent. Then he's up, ambling off toward the gate.

And then he's through.

Through, to whatever lies on the other side for those who don't come out on ours.

It takes a moment for the realization to makes its way past the haze of the pollen and the control of the ever-watchful Crimson. It begins with a sinking feeling, and then an emptiness—as though my insides have disappeared and become indescribably heavy at all once. Like a black hole.

And the Crimson teacher's control tightens, coiling heavily around me, containing me. I try to help her. Keep it together. I'm barely aware of what's happening outside of me as the rest of the prospectives either make the crossing or think better of it. As we make our way down the trail to the Lodge, a significantly smaller procession this time.

Then we all disperse to our rooms—some of us with the help of the older Umbrans or the house staff. Our official orientation is tomorrow evening, after everyone's had some time to settle and acclimate. Until then, our assignment is rest and relaxation. But the affects of the pollen and the Crimson's influence wears off not long after I'm left alone in my room.

And that's when the scream finally breaks through—and with it, power.

~*~

Only a few faint flashes of purple energy snap across my skin, but flashes of it still bolt down from the clouds out over the sea. I whisper silent apologies to E.J. as I step out onto my balcony, breathing deep of the outside air. Dropping into the chair like a sack of wet dirt, I curl my feet up underneath me and snatch up my vapestem.

That's when I finally, fully register it. The scent that's been tugging at the periphery of my awareness for hours, but which I've only just calmed down enough to really think about.

Lore's scent—coming from what was, until earlier in the night—Leon's room.

Oh fuck. Please no.

Out in the forest, a rabbit-fox screeches, a tortured, pain-drenched sound. In the room next door, there's movement. Lore's intoxicating scent grows stronger.

Without thinking, I launch myself over the balcony rail and onto the moist, mossy ground below. Then I hurtle off into the woods, towards the sound of the rabbit-fox.

I hear and smell the details of the struggle long before I see it—breaking through the underbrush just before the coyote-lizard can make it's killing blow. I launch myself at it, grabbing it around the neck and wrenching its jaws away before they can tear into the smaller creature's stomach. Then I fling it bodily away. Leaves and palm fronds wave and rustle as it rushes off in the opposite direction.

I turn to the rabbit-fox, fighting for life in the bloody moss at my feet. But just as I kneel at her side, her breath goes out of her and her heart stops beating.

"Oh no, no no..." I reach out to her, press my hand gently to her side. I think of Leon, and my power flares once more—weakly this time, but enough. I push the energy into her, and her heart flutters back to life. Her little chest begins to lift and fall. It’s just enough to bring her back, but she's still weak, still wounded—and now that she’s alive again my abilities are useless on her. Scooping her carefully up, I nestle her to my chest and rush back to the Lodge.

I find E.J.'s room by scent, and by knowing her. To the East end of the lodge, there are a few additional levels that raise above the rest—the part of the building we'd first entered after coming in from the rooftop. It's a little like a tower, and she's at the top of it.

I pause outside the door, wondering about the implications.

Is she planning on living here? What about Umbratech? Or does she have a whole space to herself just for occasional events? They're not staff quarters, or at least—I don't think they are. I can only smell one other person up here.

I free my right hand, raising a fist to beat at the door, but it swings open before I can make contact. On the other side, E.J.—somewhere around three-quarters human—stands with the Crimson professor at her side. Her lip curls up in a snarl, but the other Umbran's eyes go wide, and she immediately reaches out.

"Oh, that poor little creature. Here, allow me"

I look sideways at my ex, who doesn't seem to object any further as I follow them inside. "Can't E.J. heal her? You're probably exhausted after helping both of us," I protest, but the other woman chuckles and shakes her head lightly as she pulls a throw blanket off a nearby chair and lays it out on the ground.

"It's quite alright," she says, settling the rabbit-fox onto the blanket. "I've got some juice in me yet."

Gently, she lays her hands to the creatures wounds, eyes closing as she focuses.

"I'm Professor Pravda, by the way," she murmurs. A moment later, her eyes snap open.

"That ought to do it," she says. "She might be a bit sore, still—but safe to release," she smiles, scratching her patient between the ears. Looking over at me, the rabbit-fox chirps. I hurry over to scoop her back up before she can try to run off, but she seems strangely content in my arms.

After properly introducing myself to the professor and thanking her, I turn to head out. There's an angry stamping behind me as E.J. follows me out the door and slams it shut behind her.

"What were you thinking, coming up here so soon after you knew I must have shifted?"

"You had the professor to bring you out of it sooner. It was fine—"

"You didn't know that when you came up here," she says.

I shrug. "I needed a Crimson, and—"

"You're reckless," she spits. "What do you think I would do to myself, if I—if..." she trails off, a hand going up to run through her hair, once, and then again. Her teeth grit together, eyes flashing about as if for some escape before refocusing on me. "What do you think I've already been going through ever since—"

"You wouldn't kill me," I say. "Even then, you stopped yourself in time."

"In time? In time? Ash, you were—the blood..." her hands, still tipped in pointed claws, tear at her hair. For a moment she looks truly unhinged, eyes more wild than I've ever seen them in beast form. "I can't do this," she says at last, turning from me. "Not tonight."

"I didn't ask you to," I whisper, cuddling the fidgety rabbit-fox closer and starting down the hall. Behind me, her door slams shut.