The rest of the afternoon passes almost in a blur, but Sarah has clear memories of a few moments. Eating dinner on the grass, Lucas winking at her across the rough circle, Marcia’s elbow happily nudging her ribs from beside Sarah. Teaming up with Marcia to beat Max and Liz at beer pong, this time downing the vile warm beer in the bottom of the cups, Lucas laughing at the face she makes from where he’s watching nearby.

When dusk begins to settle, Hamil whistles to get everyone’s attention. He announces that it’s time to start walking to where they’ll watch the fireworks, but that “don’t forget, we’re coming right back afterward” because apparently, “all those bars around there are a rip-off tonight.”

Fine with Sarah. She’s happy to do a little walking and stretch her legs out; for the last twenty minutes, she’s been curled up with Marcia and a diluted margarita on the grass, and her calves are starting to cramp up. Some movement and a break from drinking will be good for everyone, probably.

They file out of the backyard, leaving their empties and half-empties behind for Lemuel and another guy whose name Sarah doesn’t remember to monitor - not fireworks fans, apparently - and settle in a few chaotic columns down the sidewalk.

Sarah falls in alongside Jordan and Marcia. They spend most of the twenty minute walk talking about cycling, since apparently Jordan’s interest in running also extends a little to triathlons, and Marcia had been a cycling buddy of Jack’s. None of them seem to like lane swimming, which Sarah points out is probably at least a little bit because of the expense of membership at a facility with a decently-sized pool in London.

Portsmouth’s fireworks are over the sea this year, which Sarah figures should look pretty great with the skyline just behind. Lucas’s friends’ viewing spot is apparently a park with views across the sea. Is it a park or a beach? Who knows. Upon arrival, Sarah realizes that it’s also several thousand other people’s optimal viewing spot.

“That’s because it has grass and it’s pretty close,” Hamil pipes in when Marcia comments on how busy it is. “People watch from the centre too and some bars but it’s all boardwalk and wood there.”

As a short person, Sarah is always a little worried about seeing, but she’s comforted by the fact that at least this is fireworks - high in the sky above everybody, even tall people like Lucas. Still, as they enter the crowd in an attempt to carve out a spot on the grass, she’s definitely feeling the downsides of being small. She gets separated from Marcia and Jordan by a family with two double strollers and has to scurry between people to catch up. In the process, someone steps on her foot, but her yelp is lost in the crowd. She leans down to make sure everything feels fine - can’t take any chances with the marathon coming up - and when she stands up she realizes she’s lost again.

Just as she can feel her frustration start to boil over, Lucas is magically at her side.

“Knew you’d get lost in a crowd, Dalton,” he says jokingly. “Should have given you one of them beacons they give to people at sea.”

“Ha ha,” Sarah says dryly, but she’s ecstatic to see him. He offers one of his hands to her, and she takes it gratefully.

“Don’t let go, Sarah,” Lucas instructs, then proceeds to cut a beeline through the crowd. She sticks close behind, hurrying two steps for his one, letting his large frame make an easy path to follow, until finally the crowd breaks and she sees their group getting settled on a free swath of grass a little ways away from the main horde.

“You found her!” Liz exclaims from where she’s sitting, Marcia to her right, Jordan beside her.

“I got cut off by a stroller,” Sarah explains, slightly out of breath.

“Thought we had to send the police in,” Hamil teases.

Sarah rolls her eyes. “I am an excellent navigator,” she informs him. “I would’ve found my way eventually. Just look for Lucas!” She punctuates her point with a friendly nudge to Lucas’s side.

“I’m hard to miss, babe,” Lucas agrees cheerfully. “Now come on, sit down before these fire crackers start!”

She looks over her shoulder briefly to find an empty spot, but it’s still a little crowded here, too, and she’s met with a couple of glares from families already seated behind them. There’s a momentary sense of panic, until Lucas folds himself down where he stands and tugs her down too by the hand he’s still holding.

“The ground isn’t made for tall people either,” he grumbles, looking uncomfortable with his knees half-up to his shoulders.

Sarah gives him a sympathetic look. “At least you always have a great view?”

Lucas laughs. “I’ve got an idea – come here, Sarah.” He turns to the side and slides his legs forward, then parts his knees and pats the ground in front of him. “Free back rest,” he offers.

A breeze rolls through, but she’s had enough to drink that it doesn’t chill her. Even so, she’s not going to say no to his body heat. So she nods and turns, shuffling in reverse on her ass until his arms reach forward, wrap around her waist, and haul her fully backward.

“This okay?” Lucas asks, his voice cheerful in her ear.

Her legs look tiny between his, Sarah notes. “Yes,” she says, turning her head halfway before swivelling back and picking a few blades of grass off of her knees.

Sarah’s not sure she’s going to be able to withstand just how overwhelming it feels to have his body surrounding hers, his knees on either side of hers, his arms around her waist, his hands settled in her lap. She rests her forearms on top of his and leans into him, letting her weight fall against his chest. He smells like the outdoors, like grass and sweat and beer, like Lucas. It’s a lot.

She’s so glad that Marcia is in front of them, because she doesn’t think she’ll ever hear the end of it if her friend turns around and sees them basically cuddling here in this park.

Then, the faint music that’s been playing all around gets a little louder, and the fireworks show starts. Sarah’s always felt like fireworks were a little overrated, honestly - something explodes, it looks cool for a while, people clap, and then you’re all just alone in the dark with the mosquitoes - but tonight, they seem beautiful. Tonight, the colours seem extra bright, the designs impressive, and the sea and sun behind them looks like the best place on earth.

“Still wishing you were at the apartment watching the Kardsahians?” Lucas says into her ear.

Sarah turns her head to the side, her cheek against his shoulder, and shakes her head. “No,” she mumbles, smiling into his sleeve. “No, I’m glad I’m here.”

“I’m glad you’re here too, Sarah.” He grips the outside of her thigh, just behind her knee, and squeezes affectionately.

It’s then that she realizes just truly how messed up she is: because all she wants right now is for that big hand to move higher up her thigh, for his fingers to slide between her legs, his big mouth hot on her neck. She wants to turn around and drag him away behind the trees and find out just how strong he really is. And then - then, she wants him to hold her after, just like he is now, sweet and caring and genuine.

She’s wholly, truly, and desperately attracted to her roommate.